Return to Me
by weesh
Summary: After Claire's twelfth birthday party rumors swirl about her and Quil. She thinks she is protecting him by pushing him away. What are the long term effects of separation for them?
1. Chapter 1

Return to Me

Claire POV

Today is January 17 - my twelfth birthday – and all I want is to get some answers from my best friend. Don't get me wrong: I am going to enjoy the cake and party and presents my mom has arranged. My neighborhood friends are going to come over and it will be great. But after that I have some questions for my best friend, Quil, and this time he isn't going to make some excuse to get out of it.

Quil is the older brother I never had, the surrogate father when needed and my best friend all the time. He was the one who picked me up when I scraped my knees, held me when I cried, read me stories at bedtime when my poor parents were passed out from exhaustion, and stood next to me through the funeral I held for my dead guinea pig. He was always helping me and giving everything while asking nothing, but I still wanted to give in return. Just like family I loved him unconditionally and I took for granted that he would always be there because he always had been. He was simply _my Quil_.

Quil also knows me better than anybody else, even my parents sometimes. But I hardly know anything about him. He is one giant mystery and I want part of that mystery solved today. This time I am better prepared. Instead of asking general questions about him that he can gloss over and avoid, I have specifics that he can't ignore. I even got Aunt Emily's help. Now I know some of his friend's names so I can ask about them. And most important, I have my photo album. That's part of what started all this, and very soon I will know him better like he knows me. It's going to be a good day.

…

"Did you have a good time?" Quil asked as he sat down next to me on the couch after the last guest left.

"Sure." It wasn't very convincing but I feel kind of drained to be honest.

"What's wrong, Claire-Bear?" he asked, full of concern as usual.

I don't want to tell him what's really bothering me because he won't like it any more than I do. During the party he was off watching an action movie with Dad, leaving me with my friends. Well, at least I thought they were my friends. Now I'm not so sure. We were playing games while mom cleaned up the snacks and cake we had at the start of the party. Kevin let it slip that he only came because his mom said he had to and I went to his party last time so it's only fair. Molly then admitted she came because her mom feels bad that I don't spend much time with kids my age. Molly overheard her talking to my mom about it. Tammy said it's weird that my best friend is an 'old guy who should be in college'. Great, so no one wanted to be here and they thought my best friend in the entire world was strange. Just great. But I wasn't going to let it stop me from getting what I want from Quil now. So I gave him the best answer I could.

"I'm just a little tired I guess."

"Oh, well, do you have enough energy for just one more present?" he got a twinkle in his eye and produced a small present from his pocket.

I took it with a smile. Quil could always cheer me up, no matter what happened. "Thanks Quil."

"You haven't even opened it yet. You better make sure you like it before you thank me." He winked and nudged my shoulder with his arm.

"I guess you're right, this could just be a crappy bolt from work or something." I teased. That was one of the few things I actually knew about him: he worked at a garage fixing cars with some of his friends. On the rare occasions he talked about it I learned that while he didn't love it, he didn't hate it either. It was more like it was just there and it was something to do while I was in school or something.

I ripped the paper off the small box and opened it to find a polished oval green stone wrapped into a woven leather bracelet. I immediately put it around my wrist and Quil's large hands swooped in to help me with the clasp.

"This is perfect! Thank you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a tight hug. "I love it."

"I'm glad." Quil looked very pleased with himself.

The present was perfect. Green was my favorite color and we had been collecting stones like this on the beach for years. It was kind of thing between us.

"I just wish I could take all the credit. I found the stone and got a jeweler in town to cut the hole through it, but Emily did the leather." He admitted.

"That makes it even better. Aunt Emily is so talented."

"Yeah she is. Sam is a lucky guy to have found her." Quil said. He always gets sentimental on birthdays and holidays.

"You'll find someone like that one day. Of course it would probably help if you didn't spend all your weekends with me. When do you date, anyway?"

Quil's smile vanished and he suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I don't date." Ha answered quietly.

"Why not? You're a cute guy, you probably have a line of girls just waiting to go out with you." It was true and I had finally noticed a few weeks ago how handsome he is. It came with growing up; just like how I noticed Matt at school recently. He was so cute!

Quil looked surprised. "Uh, no. I don't, I mean I'm not, really. . . uh, good at the dating thing."

"Oh." We were getting off topic. I needed to ask him now before I missed my chance to get answers. "So, Emily was telling me some funny stories the other day and she mentioned your friends. I know Embry and I kinda remember Jake from when I was little. But what about Paul and Jared? Do you work with them too?"

"No. I don't really see them very much anymore. They are both busy with their families and stuff."

"Aren't they your age?"

"They are older now." Quil still looked uncomfortable. "What's with all the questions all of a sudden?" He usually got this way when I asked about him.

"I just want to know you better." I popped up and grabbed the photo album from the shelf across the room. I sat back down by Quil and opened it. "I was looking at this the other day."

Starting at the beginning we looked at pictures of me and my siblings growing up for a little while in silence. When we reached my fifth birthday I smiled at Quil.

"You sure haven't changed much. Women would kill to not show their age like you. What's your secret?" I grinned at him, trying to keep this light, but really wanting a good answer at the same time.

Quil squirmed and then stood up. "Will you go on a walk with me Claire? There's something I want to tell you." He held out his hand and I took it. He pulled me to my feet and we went outside toward the forest where there was a trail we walked sometimes. I kept hold of Quil's hand which was normal for us and we walked for a little while until Quil cleared his throat.

"Claire, honey, do you remember the stories I used to tell you to get you to go to sleep? The ones about my tribe?"

"Of course. I loved those stories. I felt bad for Taha Aki and how he lost everything. I used to dream he was still out there protecting us whenever I would hear a wolf howl in the forest." I answered.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Is that weird?"  
"No, it just surprised me. But it certainly makes things easier for me right now." He took a deep breath. "What would you think if I told you those wolf howls did mean you were protected?"

"He is still out there? Have you seen him?" I was excited now. That would be so awesome to have a mythical protector out there keeping the world safe. Maybe its silly but I have always liked hero stories like Superman, but this would be even better if it were real.

"Kind of. Its not Taha Aki though, its me. I mean, I can change into a wolf to protect my tribe, and well, all people from the Cold Ones and other dangers." Quil finished and watched me nervously. He stopped walking and I turned to face him.

"You're serious. So why didn't you tell me before?"

"You, . . you're not scared? Or worried about my sanity?" He asked.

I laughed. "Quil, do you ever lie to me?"

"Aside from hiding this, no."

"Exactly. So, I believe you. I trust you and I know you'll always take care of me." I reached out and took his hand to prove that everything was okay. I started walking again and he came along.

"Wow." Was all he said.

"Yeah, so is the rest true too then? Is there a pack or are you the only one? Who else knows about this? Do I need to keep it secret too? Does anyone in my tribe change? Have you ever fought a Cold One?"

Quil chuckled and he sat me down on a large flat rock on the side of the trail. "I am part of a pack : the largest in tribal history in fact. Your Uncle Sam was our Alpha for a long time, we briefly split once and when he retired Jake put both packs back together. Now Jake's in Europe with his wife's family and I am Alpha with Embry as my second and two other wolves – Brady and Todd. The rest have all retired, or stopped phasing, to be with those they love. We are really fast, we heal quickly and don't age, and our senses are heightened. Uh, only wolves and their families know about us and yes, you need to keep this to yourself. It's a Quileute thing so no one here changes into anything as far as I know. And yes, I have killed some Cold Ones, but you would call them vampires."

My head was spinning from all the information. Uncle Sam was a wolf? Pretty much all of the people I knew from La Push were in on the big secret and I had never guessed. The Legends I'd been told as a child were all true, and Quil had killed. Wait. "You've really killed someone?" I blurted out in shock.

"Well, vampires aren't exactly alive so I don't know that I'd put it that way. But yeah, I've destroyed a few in my day. Do you remember the story I told you about the Newborn War? That was us. Jake was the wolf who got crushed."

"But he's not crippled or anything." I thought of the last time I saw Jake a few years ago. We were on the beach and he was wrestling with Quil and Embry. There wasn't a scratch on him.

"We heal really fast."

I nodded. "Wow. So that's why you stay young isn't it? Taha Aki lived three men's lives because he didn't age until he gave up his wolf for his soul mate, the Third Wife. That's why you look the same in all of my photos."

"That's right. When I was sixteen I had a crazy growth spurt just before I phased for the first time and I haven't aged since. That happens to all of us."

"What about the Third Wife thing? Will you just stay this way until you find your soul mate or something?" I asked.

"Yeah, we call it Imprinting when a wolf finds his mate. Everything changes in the moment you find her and nothing matters as much as she does. All of the wolves who have retired have found their Imprint."

"You said that Uncle Sam retired, which makes sense cuz he is getting older. So that means that Aunt Emily is his soul mate?" the idea thrilled me. Soul mates – finding that one person who is absolutely perfect for you. I can't imagine anything cooler than that.

"Exactly."

"And that's why you don't date? You are waiting for your imprint?" I guessed. It made sense now.

"Well, there's not really any point dating when there's someone out there you care about like that. So yeah, I'm waiting. . ." Quil's head snapped to the right and he sniffed the air before cussing under his breath. I've never heard him swear before.

"What's wrong?" the look in his eye scared me. He was angry about something and his hands were shaking. It was the first time I was ever frightened of him.

"Here's your crash course in wolves Claire." He pulled off his shirt and moved away from me. "Don't be afraid. Just jump on my back and when we get to your house let go and run inside. Don't come out until you hear from me."

"What's happening?"

"I can smell a vampire we were tracking and lost last week." He cursed again. "Remember what I told you."

Before I could register what he was doing his clothes were in a pile on the forest floor and he exploded into a giant chocolate brown wolf. I gasped and jumped from the rock I was sitting on when he lunged toward me. He crouched next to me, pushing his huge side against me. My brain couldn't handle this. It was one thing to talk about legends and another thing entirely to see one in real life. The wolf turned its giant head toward me and he whimpered. Quil had told me to get on. Okay. I pulled on my trust for Quil, knowing he would take care of me, wolf or human, and I grabbed onto the fur and pulled myself onto his back. The second I was on he started running and in just moments I could see my house from the tree line. Quil crouched down again and I slid off his back on shaky legs. His great head pushed me gently toward the house. I stumbled out of the trees and he watched me with intense eyes. I ran inside as instructed and shivered involuntarily when I heard a howl split the air.

. . .

It was dark when I heard a knock at the door. I waited anxiously for Quil to return and tell me that everything was okay. So when I saw him standing in the open doorway talking to dad I ran straight into his arms and hugged him tight. He hugged me back and left a kiss on top of my head before stepping back.

"I don't want your mom to get mad at me for messing up your clothes." He said with a grin.

I honestly hadn't noticed the dirt streaking his arms or his damp rumpled clothes because I was just so glad to see him.

"Sorry." I muttered.

Dad excused himself but Quil still didn't come in.

"I'm a mess honey and I need to get home. I just wanted to see if you were okay." He explained.

"I'm fine. Are you okay? Did you catch it?" I spoke lowly so no one else heard.

Quil nodded. "We got him cornered and Todd finished him off. He won't bother anyone again."

It was strange to hear him speak so casually about something that to me, had only been scary stories this morning. "I'm glad you are okay."

He shrugged. "It's what we do. Anyway, I need to get home. I just wanted to check in first. So, I'll see you tomorrow. Happy Birthday again Claire." With another quick kiss to the top of my head he was off and I closed the door.

This had been a big day after all, and not at all the way I had expected it to be.

. . .

Monday at school I was greeted with a whole lot of whispering and odd looks. I heard only a few of the things that were said about me. The worst was at the end of lunch when I was walking back to the classroom early and stopped when I heard voices. I peeked around the corner and saw Molly, Tammy, Karen and Beth talking.

". . . he was even there at the party, lurking in the kitchen and stuff." Molly said.

"I thought he was her uncle or something." Karen said.

"Nope. They aren't related at all. He comes up from the La Push reservation just to see her all the time. I think it's weird." Tammy said. "My dad says any grown man spending that much time with a little girl is up to no good. He's probably already molested her and she's just too scared to say anything. I saw a story like it on the news."

Beth nodded sagely. "My grandma lives near Claire and saw him running naked through the woods behind her house once. She's surprised he's not in jail yet."

I closed my eyes and covered my ears. How could they say these things? They didn't know Quil at all! He would never hurt me. He was one of the best people I knew. Was it really wrong for us to be friends? I didn't want him to get in trouble for it. The bell rang and kids flooded out of the cafeteria and spread out to their classrooms. I ducked into a nearby bathroom to calm myself down before going back to class.

. . .

Within a week the rumors had spread not only through my class but the whole grade. A month later and it felt like the whole school was talking about Quil and me. Teachers looked at me with concern and pity, girls whispered when I passed and avoided me as if I had the plague and boys would make suggestive comments either when I passed or a few times to my face. The school counselor even caught me after school one day and said she just wanted to make sure I knew I could talk to her about anything. Somehow I don't think she wants to hear me rave for an hour about how wonderful my best friend is and how everyone else sucks because they can't accept that nothing else is going on. Of course, I'll have to leave out the part about him changing into a giant wolf to protect us all from vampires or she'll think I'm crazy. But even with what some people would call craziness, I wouldn't change a thing.

Ever since Quil told me his big secret he's been really open with me, telling me all sorts of stories and things about his life that he was afraid to share before because he didn't want to scare me. He is so relieved that I didn't freak out about it, and I can feel the difference. If I thought we were close before, we are even closer now because there are no secrets – he has nothing to hide or fear.

I'm really glad I can give Quil that security after all he's done for me in my life. I don't know how I got so lucky to have him pay attention to me at all, but having him in my life makes everything better. He took me to La Push two months after my birthday during my spring break and everyone was so nice and glad that I knew about the pack. I stayed at Aunt Emily's and had a blast hanging out with Quil every day instead of having to wait for weekends. It almost made me forget about all the crap at school since my birthday.

. . .

So I've been kind of a loner since my birthday party almost four months ago. I felt kind of betrayed when I found out that no one really wanted to be there and I avoided them after that. Not that it really mattered since they avoided me too after starting the gossip that lead to the rumors that have made me an outcast. Last weekend Quil kept asking why I never talk about school or my 'friends' anymore. It was hard not to tell him the truth but I knew he would only feel bad and blame himself. There is nothing to blame! Our friendship is the best thing in my life and I don't want him to know that people have twisted it into some messed up pedophile kind of thing behind his back. But he kept asking and this past weekend I overheard him telling mom he was concerned about me.

That led me to make the hardest decision I've made in my entire life. I am not happy about it, but it's the only solution I can see. My life seriously bites right now.

On Saturday morning I only ate a little cereal for breakfast. I was nervous and my stomach was already turning. Quil came at ten just like always and I sat like a stone at the table and listened as he chatted with mom like always. I wondered if she knew what people thought of our friendship. She and dad were fine with it. They wouldn't let me be in danger like that, but somehow the rest of the tribe had decided that Quil was a pedophile and that he was dangerous to me. I may know better, but I hated to think of people saying such terrible things about my Quil.

I finally even asked my teacher about it, staying after school until everyone was gone on Wednesday. "Is it wrong to have a friend that is twice your age?" she had immediately asked if my friend touched my body in inappropriate ways. She even knew I was asking about Quil and she offered to talk to the principle or my parents for me if I needed her help. I defended him but my teacher looked like she didn't believe me. It was all I could do to make her promise not to say anything to anyone and I was still afraid she would get me in trouble for something that never happened. I cried the entire way home that day.

So here I was, waiting for my best friend, drinking in the sound of his laughter one last time. Quil walked into the kitchen with mom and she offered him some food. He grinned and took the doughnut she offered – he was always hungry. I now knew that was a wolf thing. I like all of those wolf traits he's told me about the last few months.

"Hey Claire. How's it going?" He asked as he sat down across from me with a smile and quickly demolished his doughnut.

"Hey." I squeaked out and fidgeted with the bracelet he gave me. I wore it all the time.

"Are you okay honey?" Mom asked and looked at me curiously. Across from me Quil studied me as well.

"What's wrong Clair-bear?" he asked.

I shook my head and didn't even whine about him using my old nickname. "Sorry. I don't feel so great right now."

"Well, make sure you two stay inside today then. I don't want you getting caught in the rain and getting sick." Mom advised. I nodded and she left us alone as usual. See? She trusted Quil.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Quil offered and my heart broke a little more.

"You should go home Quil." I said quietly.

"What? It can't be that bad. Tell me what's wrong sweetie." He sounded so worried but I still couldn't look at him.

"Its Saturday, don't you have something you'd rather do than entertain a kid?" I asked, letting some of my newfound bitterness into my voice.

"It's one of the few days I get to spend with you – why would I want to do anything else?" He asked.

"But don't you have friends your own age? Cuz I don't." I muttered the last part but of course he heard with his special super hearing.

"What are you talking about? What about all the kids who came to your party – all your school friends?"

"They only came because they had to. I won't make friends my age if I'm hanging out with you all the time." I said.

Quil's face fell. "Oh. Is there a different time you want me to come?"

"No. You don't need to come so far from home when you have friends and your pack at home."

"It's not a problem Claire. I don't mind coming so far to see you. I'd go farther if I had to."

"But you don't have to. I mean if you knew other people here it would make sense and I'm just a kid anyway. You should hang out with people your age." I asserted. This was so hard. He just wasn't getting it and I didn't want to be mean, but couldn't he see the problem here?

"What's going on Claire? Ask anything and you know I'll tell you. If you want me to do anything you know I'll do it. Just tell me what's wrong." He sounded desperate now.

"None of that matters. Besides, don't you have responsibilities on your own res? Just go home Quil and let me be a kid here."

"Claire."

"I want you to leave Quil." My voice caught and I tried not to cry. I am a terrible person.

"Right. So I guess I'll just come back when you are in a better mood." He stood up from the table looking kind of shocked.

"Don't come back Quil." It was a struggle to keep my voice calm as I said this but I had to do it. I somehow knew he wouldn't go if I didn't make it clear. This was the only way I could protect him from people who didn't understand. And deep down I wondered if he wouldn't be better off without me. Maybe now he could find his imprint.

I followed him back to the front door. He opened it and paused. "Claire?" He looked kind of lost and there were tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Quil. Goodbye." I closed the door and sank to the floor. I let my tears fall freely and felt the pain wash over me. I felt as if I had cut my own arm off.  
. . .

On Monday before school started I very loudly told Tammy that I was no longer friends with Quil, making sure everyone heard me. I saw surprise and relief and pity on the faces around me. The 'get new friends' part of my plan was now going into effect. I hoped it would work because I was miserable. After I sent Quil away I spent the rest of the weekend imitating a zombie. The pain of what I did was unbearable and I stopped myself from calling and apologizing about a hundred times. I felt hollow and numb but I needed to put on a brave face at school and prove to them that things had changed. Maybe I could fill up the emptiness inside me with new friends.

I don't know if it was out of pity or if I was somehow more interesting all of a sudden, but by Friday all of the girls were talking to me like they talked to each other. Beth even invited me to come to her house on Saturday. I guess things were working out after all.

On Saturday afternoon I left my house to walk to Beth's to hang out. Halfway there I skirted the edge of the forest and heard some twigs snap behind me. I paused momentarily and looked around but didn't see anyone so I kept going. When I heard the sound again and still couldn't find the source my heart sank because I knew exactly what was happening.

"Quil, is that you?" I asked softly.

A large chocolate brown wolf stepped from behind a tree, revealing only half of his massive form. His head was lowered and he watched me cautiously. His fur was dirty and matted with mud and twigs stuck in it. He looked terrible – it mirrored how I felt inside.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He lay down on the damp ground and crawled toward me a little, whimpering hopefully.

"No Quil. I explained this all last week. You've been like the big brother I never had, and the best friend I could ask for, but I don't need a babysitter anymore. It's time for me to make friends my age, who actually live here on this res. You shouldn't be stuck here with me. Go find your imprint or hang out with the guys or something. You'll have more fun with them."

Quil whimpered again and his eyes were filled with sadness.

"I mean it Quil. Go home." Then I did the thing I wasn't sure I had the strength to do. I turned my back on him. I heard his high pitched whimpering and cries as I walked toward Beth's house. Just before I knocked on her front door I heard a heart-rending howl echo from the nearby forest. But I couldn't show my weakness now, not when I was about to be normal for once. So I put on a brave face and smiled when Beth opened the door. I was determined to make this work.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oops – I forgot this the first time around. Disclaimer: no I am not Stephenie Meyer and I'm only doing this for fun. I promise.**

**Also, I would love to hear what you think of this story and my writing. Please leave a review, even if it's a quick one. Thanks!**

Quil POV

Two years, four months, eighteen days, ten hours. That's how long it's been since I've seen Claire.

I spent the first week after she told me to go away sleeping outside her house, watching for the smallest sign of her and listening to her breathe through the night. I knew she had cried a lot but for the life of me I couldn't think what I had done to upset her so much. When she told me to go away the second time I felt like I couldn't breathe. Watching her walk away was the worst feeling I've ever experienced, and I've been through a lot of crap myself and vicariously through the rest of the pack's mind over the years.

I didn't phase human again for a month after that. I stayed out of sight in the forest watching her whenever I could. Embry, Brady and Todd all came and tried to talk sense into me, but there was no sense in the world anymore. I stopped functioning almost completely and I think it only took a few weeks for Embry to assume the Alpha role since I sure wasn't doing anything to deserve it. I didn't know how anymore. So I sat and watched and listened and stole precious time being near Claire and it was almost enough for a little while.

When that first month had passed Embry came and literally kicked my butt, trying to get some response. But I enjoyed the physical pain because it was different than the ache. So he did the only thing he could do and Alpha-ordered me back to the res. He walked with me the whole way. There was no way I was running away from my Claire. Every step was torture because it took me farther away from her and for the first time I honestly didn't know when or if I would see her again. Once Embry had me near my house he ordered me to phase human and go home and sleep. So I did. I didn't eat or drink, I just slept. Somewhere in there I think I was dragged into the bath and hosed down, I'm not sure. It didn't matter.

Then for a few days there was a parade of people who came to cheer me up or threaten me or anything they could think of to help me. I would have appreciated the effort if my life weren't worthless without Claire. Then I realized that this would keep happening; that I would continue to be a burden to everyone if I stayed in my room starving myself so I pretended to get better, pretended to care and get on with my life. Embry wasn't fooled but he didn't call me on it either because he understood that this wasn't just something I could get over in a few days. He's a good man.

So I spent a year, that first year of not seeing Claire once, living a half life. I put on a show for the necessary people but smoldered inside my own personal Hell all the while. Then I got bored. Have you ever wondered how to kill a shape-shifter if there isn't a vampire handy? I have. I couldn't drown – I tried that. Cliff diving onto rocks didn't work either, but once again the physical pain was a nice escape from the ache in my chest. But then I healed and Embry got smart and ordered me to not intentionally hurt myself anymore. I thought I got lucky when I stumbled upon a random roaming leech shortly after Claire's thirteenth birthday. I didn't have to intentionally hurt myself, but I didn't have to fight back either. Too bad Todd phased so he could run to his girlfriend's house across the res. He got to the leech before it could finish me off. And of course, I healed yet again.

It's really a shame that our ability to heal doesn't include replacing our heart once it's been ripped out by our imprint. But then again, I don't think I would want that pain to go away, because then it would mean Claire didn't matter, that she wasn't my world. And she is my world. She turned fourteen a few months ago. I still haven't been back to the Makah res but I long for her. And no, I'm still not a pedophile. I would be content to just watch her grow up, with no contact whatsoever, just so long as I could see that she is well and happy. Just to take part in her life in some small way, even if stolen, I would sell my soul. I guess shape shifters can't do that either.

I know everyone is still worried about me. I'm worried about myself. But no one has faced being rejected by their imprint before. The truth is we just don't know what the long term effects could be. Or at least, I am being forced to find out since I'm forbidden to just wander off into the forest and let myself die. So I guess I have to live a little while longer as their science experiment and just see what happens. All I know is that I'm not about to put in any extra effort. I will do the minimum: eat, sleep, breathe, patrol and attend the required social gatherings like birthdays and weddings. But that's it. I will not promise to be happy or smile or contribute in any way other than providing my presence since they demand it. But until I can see Claire again I just don't see the point in doing anything anymore.

. . .

It is Claire's fifteenth birthday today. That is how I mark my time since years just don't matter anymore. I still haven't gone to physically see her but I think she's okay. I only feel the normal ache in my chest, no other pain so I have to assume she is all right. Some days I feel like a failure because I am not there with her, protecting her. But she told me to leave and I have to obey.

I got off patrol and went home. I followed the usual routine: I showered and ate lunch and then crashed in front of the tv to not watch anything. At least I looked like a normal person when I did this. Just before dark Todd and Embry let themselves into my small house. I lived alone, having moved out of my parent's house when Claire was eight years old. I know mom worries about me but there's no way I'm moving back and subjecting them to my permanent bad mood. Todd slumped onto the couch with me and Embry switched off the tv and stood in front of me.

"Okay, time to get up big guy." Embry said.

"I did patrol this morning. I'm off now." I answered.

"Brady has it covered and I'm not talking about patrol. I know what day it is and I'm not going to let you wallow again. You are coming with us and we're going to do something to get your mind off it." Embry said. His voice was strong and authoritative. Being Alpha agreed with him.

"I don't feel like it." I said in a monotone.

"Yeah, but we do and you're coming dude." Todd said. "Besides, its Friday night and there will be something good going on somewhere in Port Angeles."

"Its Friday?" I asked. I honestly hadn't been paying attention to the days of the week. All that concerned me was the date today because it was important to Claire.

"Stand up. Go get your shoes and lets go. You might as well give in because otherwise we're just going to stay here and bother you all night." Embry said with the quirk of a half smile on his face. I knew he'd do it too, so I got up and did what he wanted. When I was ready they pushed me out the door and into Embry's car. He drove to the big city with a rock station blaring and yelling along with the lyrics when he felt so inspired. Todd joined in on the songs he knew and egged Embry on to drive faster. Their general good mood lightened my gloom a little and I have to admit that it was a nice distraction.

We ended up at a club where the guys forced a few drinks on me. Its too bad our fast metabolism makes it almost impossible to get drunk because it burns off the alcohol too fast – trust me, I've tried that too. But it wasn't too bad to just be there and hang out. The other two danced with some girls there but I just didn't have it in me. Girls weren't a distraction for me, they were a reminder. So I stuck to myself and my drink, often closing my eyes and letting the loud thumping music overwhelm my senses for a few moments of peace.

Around one a.m. I heard an argument nearby and opened my eyes from one of my music induced stupors. I saw a large man grab the upper arm of a blonde girl who looked annoyed.

"I'm going home. Let me go Wes." She said loud enough for him to hear over the music. I didn't have any problem hearing her.

"No. You're not going anywhere." He snarled angrily at her.

Now I might not be interested in any of the girls here, but I wasn't about to watch one be treated badly. What if it were Claire? I would want someone to step in and help her if I couldn't. With that thought the girl's features disappeared and were replaced by Claire's long silky dark hair and deep brown eyes. I don't remember closing the distance between us but I pushed the man away from her as she started to protest again.

"She said she wants to leave and you are going to let her." I growled at him.

"This isn't any of your business. Get out of here." The man reached out a muscled arm to push me away but I dodged, still keeping myself between him and the girl. I turned my back on him.

"It's okay. I'll keep him busy." I told her.

She smiled gratefully and ducked away into the crowd of people. Just as I was about to turn around a shower of glass cascaded around my shoulders. I turned to see the man holding the broken end of a beer bottle and staring at me with wide eyes. In an instant his face changed again and he swiped at my midsection with the jagged glass, tearing my shirt and probably some skin but I didn't pay attention.

"Do you want something?" I asked in a menacing voice.

"What are you?" he gaped at me.

I saw a small crowd staring at me with varying degrees of shock, concern, and fear. I looked down at myself and saw blood dripping from a wide gash in my stomach. I didn't feel anything. I was just trying to work it out when I realized I was being propelled out of the club. I was instantly outside and I looked to my sides to see Embry and Todd each holding one of my arms as they forcibly moved me. I tried to connect the image of their hands wrapped around my biceps with any physical sensation but there was nothing.

"Dude, what was that?" Todd asked.

"What were you thinking? You should have at least pretended to be hurt so people wouldn't think anything is strange." Embry lectured angrily as he pushed me toward his car. I only knew he was pushing me because I saw him do it and felt my body move without my order as I stumbled toward the car. Embry had it started by the time I sat down and he peeled out of the parking lot and sped down the road.

"Try not to get blood all over the car will you?" he hissed at me.

"Has it stopped bleeding yet?" Todd asked. I knew there was a bet going to see if my wolf super-powers were going to diminish the longer I was away from Claire. His question was curiosity as much as concern.

"I don't know." I mumbled and looked down, feeling at the wound with my fingers. No fresh blood came off on my fingers and my skin was slightly puckered under my sensitive fingertips as it healed. I felt strangely detached. I could have been touching anything at the moment because there was a disconnect from my own body going on. What in the name was happening to me?

"You okay?" Embry glanced at me with furrowed brows.

"I don't know." I repeated. I searched my brain for the last time anyone had touched me. I had been going through my life on autopilot for so long that I had no idea when I stopped feeling touch. When I patrolled my senses were heightened, but I didn't exactly go around running into things to feel something. It had been a while since I had experienced the pain of trying to hurt myself. I rarely saw family anymore and I couldn't think of the last time mom hugged me. I just kind of drifted through everything with no contact with anyone other than talking when I had to.

"I can't feel anything." I said.

"What? You mean it doesn't hurt because you healed already?" Embry tried to understand.

"No. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel the cut. I couldn't feel your hands when you pulled me away. I don't feel any of it. I'm just numb." I explained.

"That's not possible." Embry said.

"Maybe you got messed up when the guy broke his bottle over your head." Todd suggested from the back seat.

"He broke his bottle?" I asked. Oh, that was the glass.

Embry's head snapped to look at me in shock. "You didn't know that? A hit like that would knock a normal person out. You should have at least registered that he hit you."

I shook my head. I didn't know what else to say. I stared back at Embry and was confused when his face changed to surprise and then annoyance.

"Stop it Todd. You've made your point." He turned his attention back to the road.

"What point?" I asked.

"I was just flicking your ear, Quil." Todd answered.

"We'll figure this out, man, don't worry." Embry said.

"How? I'm clearly broken." I snorted. "Not that I haven't been trying to convince you all of that for a few years now."

"We'll talk to the tribal council, to Sam, to everyone and see if anyone has any ideas what's going on." Embry said, all business now.

"Maybe this is just the side effect of my ruined imprint that you've all been waiting for." I pointed out. Embry had the decency to look embarrassed that I knew about the bet. Then a terrible thought struck me. What if the imprint was somehow broken and I had no ties to life anymore? What if something happened to Claire?

"We don't know anything yet. Don't jump to conclusions." Embry continued, oblivious to my new fear.

"Claire. Have Emily call and make sure nothing has happened to Claire." I told Embry. "DO IT NOW!" My need to know about her safety amped up about ten notches.

Embry nodded and Todd whipped out a cell phone. I turned awkwardly in my seat to watch him. I could hear the phone ringing and caught my breath when the other end of the line was picked up. I knew the voice.

"Hello?" a groggy female asked.

"Hey Sally, its Todd. I was just wondering how Claire is doing?"

"Do you really have to know at 1:30 in the morning?" Claire's mom Sally demanded in a tired voice.

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't thinking about the time. But is she there?" Todd pressed on and I thanked him internally.

"Of course she is. She went to a movie with her friends and got home around 10:30. We talked and she went to bed." Sally rehearsed.

"Could you just check really quick to make sure she didn't sneak out again or anything?" Todd asked.

"My daughter does not sneak out, but I get that you guys are protective so I will humor you if you will let me go back to sleep after and not call in the middle of the night again." Sally said.

"I won't make a habit of it. Something happened here that has us a little concerned, that's all." He said.

There was a hesitation on the other end of the line and she lowered her voice. "Is Quil okay?"

What? She was asking about me? I didn't even know the pack was still in contact with her. I thought all of their information came through Emily. Come to think of it, I didn't know she even knew who Todd was.

"Nothing you need to worry about right now." Todd spared her my current dilemma.

I heard a sigh and some movement. "She's asleep in her bed, and yes, I'm sure it's not a pile of pillows. I saw her face and watched her body rise with her breath. Does that help?" she asked, her tone much softer now.

"It answers a question we had. Thanks Sally, and sorry again for calling so late. I really wasn't thinking." Todd smoothed everything over.

"Okay. Good night then. And take care of him okay?"

"We will." He promised and hung up.

I stared open mouthed at Todd for a full minute. "Is she really worried about me?" I whispered, not having recovered fully from hearing the call.

Todd squirmed under my gaze and Embry cleared his throat. "Yeah, man. She worries about you. Last year Emily let it slip how bad you were taking everything so Sally knows its been hell for you."

"Does Claire know?" I couldn't stop the question from coming out. After all, everything was about Claire.

Embry shook his head. "No. She doesn't ask about you and we thought it best not to let her know."

"Good." I was relieved. I didn't know if she would feel bad for me or not, but I would rather not risk hurting her just in case. "Don't tell her."

"She's doing well though. We didn't know how you would handle hearing, but the pack has been keeping an eye on her for you. She made friends just like she told you she wanted to. She seems happy."

I nodded. That was good. She could live without me. I wasn't mad about that at all. I was glad she got what she wanted.

"Thanks." I said. We were quiet for the rest of the drive home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Still don't own it.**

Claire POV

My life is complete crap. And I have the worst migraine today. It's a Thursday and I should be in school but mom let me stay home since last time I went to school with a migraine it lasted two days longer than normal. I've been getting headaches for about two years now but a month or so before I turned fifteen they got worse and turned into full blown eye exploding, vomit inducing, world stopping nightmares. And that totally works because not long after they started my life became even more pointless than it was already.

I've decided not to celebrate any more birthdays. My twelfth birthday was the beginning of the end of the best thing in my life – my friendship with Quil. Since then bad things have always happened and this last one was no exception. I started getting my headaches shortly after I turned thirteen and that party sucked because my favorite person was missing. I kept waiting for Quil to show up and tell me I was being a big baby and to get over myself and then things could go back to normal. But he never came.

On my fourteenth birthday there was a really bad storm and everyone was house bound to avoid the torrential rain and flooding streets. The sad part is, I really didn't miss having my friends there. So I spent the day with my family and was eventually able to get away and mope because the one thing I really wanted didn't happen – Quil didn't come. And then I felt like a total jerk because I knew it was all my fault. I just didn't know how to call Quil and say, 'hey, I know it's been a year and a half, and I was a complete idiot, but could you maybe drop your cool grown up life and come hang out with an immature teenager?'

I don't think so.

There just isn't fixing what I did. I know that now.

After I sent Quil away I focused on making new friends like I told him I would and things went pretty well for a while. I had people to sit with at lunch and after a few months everyone stopped looking at me differently and Quil's name eventually faded out of conversation. But to say I was happy would be a bit of a reach. I smiled and played the part of an adjusted girl but I was barely even content some of the time. No matter what I did or tried I never felt as care free and out right happy as I had before I changed everything.

So I decided to focus instead on making other people happy. I went to school and got decent grades so my parents wouldn't worry. I did things with kids my age after school and on the weekends to fill out the charade but I never found the same connection with anyone that I had with Quil. He always understood me without me having to explain things. I found it harder and harder to relate to the girls around me as my mood continued to sour.

And that brings me back to birthdays. I wish I could forget my fifteenth birthday. My parents encouraged me to do something with friends and I really didn't want the whole party thing so I opted to go to a movie with a group of people from school instead. We went to a comedy and that was all right. Afterward we were hanging out in front of the theater, waiting for parents to pick us up. Beth and the other girls got talking about boys and make-up and things and my attention wandered. While I pretended to listen to the girls I overheard the boys talking in a similar huddle nearby. A new boy, Trevor, asked about me. Kevin, who I wished would just crawl in a hole and disappear, immediately told him that I was intimidating because I'd been with an older guy already. Then he continued to say that they all hung out with me because they felt bad and it was just the nice thing to do since I was physically abused and abandoned by said older man. Then he concluded by telling Trevor that Molly had been sneaking looks at him all night.

Would this never end? I swear Kevin is out to ruin my entire life. After that night I started distancing myself from that group of kids and sweet Beth was the only one who noticed. I guess I may have found one friend worth having through all of this. So I've pretty much been keeping to myself again and that is just fine. This way I can be depressed and not pull people down with me. Also, very few people noticed and asked questions when I started missing school a few weeks later because of the migraines.

Which brings me back to today. I left the sanctuary of my quiet dark room to go to the kitchen for something to eat. I squinted at first in the brighter light, praying that it wouldn't prolong the migraine. I found mom paying the bills at the table and I poured myself some grape juice from the fridge.

"Can I fix you anything to eat?" mom offered.

"I think I just want a peanut butter sandwich." I told her as I pulled everything out to make one.

"Okay." She said just as the phone rang. She got up and answered it. "hello?" she paused. "Oh, hi Emily."

I glanced up to see her turn from me and face the front room. Strange.

"Oh no. When?" there was a hitch in her voice and I could tell whatever happened was bad.

Mom sniffed. "When is the funeral?"

What? That got my attention.

"How is Sam handling it? I know they were close. . . . And what about? . . . Yeah. I can imagine. . . Is there anything I can do to help? . . . Sure, of course. That would be no problem. . . Do you want me to come pick them up? . . . Okay. I'll make something for the family too and being it when I come. . . Yeah. Pass on our condolences. . . . Okay Em. Take care okay? I'll be thinking of you. . . . Yeah. Bye."

I stood frozen at the table halfway through spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread as I listened. Who died? I could tell that it was someone important to the pack. Was Quil upset? Was he okay? Panic set in and over-ruled any rational thought. I started to shake uncontrollably and mom looked at me in alarm after she hung up the phone.

"Claire?" she rushed to me and helped me sit in the nearest chair. "What's wrong honey? Is it your head?" she hovered in concern and I looked up into her eyes.

"Who?" was all I could manage.

"What?" she looked confused but followed my gaze to the phone and understanding dawned on her face. She visibly relaxed but sadness remained in her eyes. "Quil's grandfather died late last night. Emily wanted to see if I could come and sit with the kids after the funeral. She and Sam were quite close to him since he was a tribal Elder and was so involved with the pack. They will have a lot to do the next few days. I'll go down tomorrow and stay through Saturday to help out until everything is done." Mom paused to think a moment. "I need to talk to your father and make sure he can be here with you kids. Unless, um, do you want to come? I'm sure it would cheer Quil up some. You know how close he was to his grandpa."

I shook my head. I was relieved but still sad. Poor Quil – he must feel terrible. His grandpa was one of his heroes. But go see him and bring up petty teenage issues while he's dealing with this? No. Even I wasn't that selfish.

"Claire?"

"No. He won't want to see me right now." I shook my head again and stood up to leave the table.

"I don't know, Claire; he was always happy to see you. Maybe it's time you see him again." mom suggested.

"I would be in the way. He needs to be with family." My head throbbed and I felt dizzy. I shut my eyes to the pain for a moment and then hurried back to my room. I wanted to be alone.

. . .

The migraine lasted through Monday. My medications did little to ease the pain so I stayed in the dark and quiet of my room most of the weekend, eating the food dad brought me but otherwise avoiding my brother and sister and any noise they may make. This particular migraine just wasn't easing up and I could barely stand to sit up straight and eat. Reading was out of the question because my eyes stung. Music was a no go because my ears would ring. I lay on my bed in the dark with my eyes closed, napping here and there all day Sunday, hoping it would go away soon.

With all the quiet I ended up thinking about Quil. This isn't very odd though because he is often on my mind. I imagine him with the pack, sometimes human, sometimes wolf, and I hope he is happy and enjoying life. I figure he is working and dating and doing all the normal stuff he didn't do when he was hanging out with me. No one has ever said anything but maybe he has Imprinted by now. It would be a relief to know he hasn't been lonely, but thinking about him with some random faceless woman makes me slightly ill. If he is with someone she has to be pretty amazing to deserve him. I shy away from these thoughts and move on to my favorite memories of him.

Mom ended up staying in La Push at Aunt Emily's until Sunday. When she got home she came to see me. She was tired from the emotionally draining weekend and it didn't help that she was concerned about me when she got home. I was becoming nocturnal since during the night I didn't have to deal with the bright light of the sun hurting my eyes and adding to the pounding in my head, so around 11pm when everyone else was usually asleep I crept downstairs to the kitchen in the semi-darkness. Before I could get there however I heard low voices talking.

"We may need to do something. Sitting back and waiting for them isn't working and he's in really bad shape." Mom spoke in low tones. I could hear the worry lacing her voice and I held still in the hallway listening.

"You may be right. She's not doing well at all. I was thinking; could her migraine be related to what happened? I mean, could they be _that_ connected?" Dad asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Emily and I discussed that this weekend and I believe so." Mom answered.

What was that supposed to mean? My migraines weren't connected to anything. We've been looking for the cause since they started and the doctors have no clue.

I heard someone yawn and then the scraping of chairs on the floor. "I need to get some sleep so I can be of use at work tomorrow." Dad said.

I walked around the corner and grimaced at the light. "Hey."

"Do you need something?" mom asked, pulling me into a hug.

"I just wanted a snack. Why aren't you guys in bed?" I asked.

"We are on our way now. Good night sweet heart." Dad left a kiss on top of my head and walked away toward his room.

Mom made some cinnamon toast for me while I mixed up some hot cocoa. We put the food on the table and mom sat across from me as I nibbled on the toast.

"Claire, your Aunt Emily and I were talking and we thought maybe you should spend this summer in La Push with her." Mom said.

"Why?"

Mom sighed. "There are several reasons: one of them being that I think you could use a change of scenery. You haven't been very happy lately and I know you aren't spending much time with friends. You may be able to find something there that can help you."

"Like Quil?" I asked pointedly, glaring at her. I was glad she liked Quil and all, but she really wasn't helping me when she mentioned him every so often. Those reminders just made me feel guilty and miss him.

"Yes." she answered without even flinching.

"Is this because I didn't go with you this weekend? Because you know I don't do well around people when I have a migraine."

"You can't avoid him forever. You need to talk to him and work out whatever it is keeping you apart." She wasn't about to let me change the subject.

"Talking won't fix it. I already fixed the problem anyway. And why do you care so much?" I demanded as my guilt flared.

"Sending someone away isn't fixing a problem, it's avoiding it Claire. Quil deserves better from you."

"I agree! Quil is amazing and he deserves more of a life than hanging out here with me."

Mom huffed in exasperation. "Just promise me you will see him and talk when you go out there next month. And yes, you will stay there all summer because I have already worked everything out with Emily. Her kids are looking forward to seeing you."

I simply nodded and looked down at the warm cocoa enclosed in my hands to warm them. I heard mom sigh and get up.

"Good night. Try to get more sleep when you are done and we'll see if you are up to school tomorrow." Mom said and left.

I finished my food and left the dishes in the sink before going to my room. I didn't go to school the next day.

. . .

Quil POV

Before Quil Sr. died a little over a month ago he called me to his room.

Over the last three years he has been the only one who didn't placate me with empty promises. "Things will work out". "She will come around". "You'll be okay". He has always been there for me, but especially about my imprinting. He was the one who helped explain things to Sally and Mark so they would let me spend time with Claire. He has even called to talk to them a few times since 'the separation' as everyone calls it. He was always adamant that imprint issues be handled by the couple involved. He supported Sam while he tried to win over Emily after the messy breakup with Leah. He smoothed things over with the council and pack when Jake wanted to leave with the Cullens when it came time for them to move on. He kept everyone calm and getting along when we allowed leeches on the res for one day when Jake and Nessie got married on the beach. He forbade anyone else from trying to convince Claire to change her mind when she sent me away.

Quil Sr. wasn't sick very long. Two days before he died he just didn't get out of bed. The whole family made sure to visit him, including myself. We had a nice talk and then I had to go on patrol. I was surprised on Wednesday night when Todd phased and said Quil Sr. wanted me. I got to his room just after ten at night. When I sat down on his bed beside him he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. I still couldn't feel anything when people touched me and he knew that.

"I'm going to my rest soon. I am content and I don't want you to be sad." He said.

"Grandpa." I hated to hear him talk of dying.

"No. I want you to listen. I am proud of you and the pack. I understand why you can't lead and I don't want you to feel bad about that. You are a good man and you will be happy."

"Don't worry about me, grandpa."

"I'm not worried, but you need to know you shouldn't worry either. I have something to say about you and Claire: trust the power of your connection to each other. You are not the only one suffering. She will come back because this is what is meant to be. You will be together. I know it as surely as I know I am Quileute."

"Thanks grandpa." I wanted to believe him. I desperately hoped his words were true. I nodded at him and he reached for my hand again. I imagine he squeezed my fingers tightly like he used to when he wanted to reassure me about something.

"You won't have to wait long." He said. "Now go back to work." There was a hint of his usual twinkle in his eye and he waved me off.

"Good night grandpa." I told him. Those were the last words we shared. I was still patrolling at 2 am when Embry phased to tell me he was gone. He had lived a good life and I knew he was at peace with what was coming, but my grief at his loss still crippled me. I stopped running, let out a mournful howl and curled up on the forest floor near a fallen tree. My feelings were too much and I knew I wouldn't be able to phase. Embry quietly left my mind and I let my memories flow freely, good and bad, as I mourned the life of the greatest man I knew.

It was a struggle to phase back human the next day, but there were things to be done. After cleaning up I spent the day with my parents and siblings, helping where I could, letting the rest of my senses go numb like my body. I found no comfort for myself and several times I picked up the phone, ready to call Claire and beg her to come. In the evening Emily came and I heard her telling my sister Naomi that she spoke to Sally and she would come tomorrow. When Naomi asked if Claire would come I was sad to hear that she suffered from migraines. Grandpa's words rang in my ears: "you are not the only one suffering".

I called Emily over to me. "How long has she had headaches?"

She didn't need to ask who I meant. "Her headaches started a few months after the separation and they've continually gotten worse and turned into migraines. Her pain medications don't really help and she just kind of has to wait them out." She explained.

I didn't think I was capable of feeling more pain than I was already in. Apparently I was wrong. I sank into the nearest chair, gasping for breath. "Emily."

"I know, Quil. They will go away once you two are together again. Just like she will be the one who can touch you."

I looked up to see that Emily was rubbing my shoulder in a comforting gesture. It's amazing how such a simple gesture can mean so much, and the loss of it can be so hard.

"I'm sorry Quil. About everything." Emily said. I knew she meant it. She wasn't much older than me, but she had always been like a mother to the pack and I saw her as a second mother myself.

"Thanks." I said. After that I was able to get away to the back yard and sit in companionable silence with my little brother Avery as we each dealt with our grief.

. . .

The funeral and the weeks after were kind of a blur for me. I worked a lot, only taking time off during the days after grandpa died until the funeral. The rest of my time I spent phased or sleeping. I felt best when I had something to do, something to focus on besides my own thoughts and feelings. The rest of the pack was understanding and when they ran with me they kept up a running dialogue of what was happening to them to distract me. I don't know if they knew how much it helped.

One afternoon I was out running and had to dodge several groups of kids hiking in the woods.

_What is going on?_ I asked Brady who was running too.

_School is out. The kids need to get out and explore a little, you know, remind themselves that the world is bigger than the four walls they've been stuck in studying_. He answered.

_Oh. I didn't realize_.

_We will have to be more careful when we run. Watch for new smells and humans._ He advised.

_ Yeah. Okay._

We fell into our own thoughts again. I leisurely ran a wide circuit around the res, following our extreme borders. Strictly speaking we didn't need to run patrols as often as we did – there just weren't that many vampires coming through the area anymore. More than anything it was habit from the old days. Plus, there's a lot to be said for just getting out on four legs and running with the wind in your fur.

As evening fell I was running near the main road entrance to La Push when I caught the most intoxicating scent floating on the breeze. While being careful about populated areas I followed the scent until I reached the main part of town. I phased, pulling on a ragged pair of cargo shorts, and started walking casually down the road, still following the delicious smell. Few people paid any attention since I was often seen dressed this way around the res.

The scent kept going beyond the center of town and I was able to get into the cover of the forest again. I was too preoccupied to phase wolf or pay attention to where I was. The scent grew stronger and I knew I was close to finding out what was creating the heavenly scent. There was a house in front of me and I stopped in surprise. It was Sam's house. There was a new car in front of it though and as I neared slowly I realized the smell came from the car and then had clearly entered the house. I heard voices inside and I quietly slipped around the side of the house to a large window that would let me see inside without intruding. The light inside drew me like a beacon in the falling darkness. I had no idea what came over me, to sneak around like this, but I had to know who the scent belonged to.

Then I saw her.

_Claire._

Of course! But why didn't I recognize it? I should have known it was her scent immediately. I took a deep breath, pulling her scent into me again. Then I realized. It was deeper and more complex now. Her scent had changed subtly from that of a child to a woman.

A woman!

My mind raced back a few years to when this happened to Jake. Nessie had physically matured into a teenager and her cycle started, throwing Jake off completely for more than one reason. Not only did her scent change, but for him it had become stronger, more enticing, and it called to him. It wasn't long after this change occurred that her feelings for Jake had changed too. That was a fun day at the Cullen house!

I stared hungrily in the window at my imprint – it had been too long since I saw her last. She was beautiful – even more than I remembered now that she had grown and matured. Her waist length hair was straight and shiny, her brown eyes were deep and warm, there was a light blush on her cheeks and her lips were mesmerizing as she spoke to someone. My eyes traveled down her body. O Great Spirit, her body! The flowing top and blue jeans she wore accented her gentle new curves nicely. I drank in the sight of her like soil drinks rain after a drought. I moved without conscious thought and suddenly realized I was too close when my own breath clouded the window, obscuring my view.

Thankfully at that moment I was yanked away from the bright window and into the darkness on the side of the house.

"What are you doing?" Sam hissed in a loud whisper as I turned to him. I felt drugged and sluggish. Everything other than Claire was hazy, distant, and out of focus. Sam snapped his fingers in front of my face and I shook my head to clear the fog.

"Sorry Sam." I said quietly.

"You can't just stare in a window at people like that! You are lucky I saw you before Claire did." Sam whispered.

"I didn't mean to stare. I didn't even know. . . I just . . ." I trailed off, not having words for how I felt. She was here. For the first time in three years, Claire was in La Push. More than that, she was just inside this house, within my reach. But so far from it. I still had no idea if she wanted to see me or would talk to me if I approached her.

"I know. It's okay, I just didn't want you to scare her and ruin this chance." Sam said, watching me sympathetically as I craned my neck back toward the window to catch another glimpse. "Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before but I didn't want to get your hopes up in case she found a way out of it. When Sally was here for Quil Sr.'s funeral she and Emily planned to have Claire stay here for the summer. Just give me a little time to feel her out and see how she reacts when we mention you. Remember, I'm on your side." Sam moved his face directly in front of mine again and made eye contact. He may not be an active member of the pack or the Alpha anymore, but he still held a certain amount of authority in my eyes.

"She'll be here all summer?" I asked in awe. I silently thanked grandpa wherever he was.

"Yes. Just don't try to jump her tonight and blow it, okay?" Sam grinned knowingly at me and I felt my cheeks heat up.

Crap. Was I that obvious?

"Relax. It's not your fault. I've been in your shoes before. Well, not exactly with the age difference, but I know how strong the pull is for you to be near her." Sam said. He took a step away to go in the back door. "Oh, and when you sleep out here tonight, make sure you keep a safe distance away so no one sees you or I'll have Embry give you a command." He threatened with a smirk before disappearing inside.

To be safe I stepped back into the trees but still where I had a good view of the window to their family room. I looked down and wrapped my arms around a small tree, leaning my head to one side so I could see. I couldn't feel the bark, but hoped that now I would notice if I moved away from this spot.

I could see Claire sitting on one of the couches with her mom, facing Emily and her cousins. She sat sideways to me so I could see her profile and watch without being seen. A half an hour later someone cleared their throat to my left and I was surprised to see Embry standing there. I hadn't even heard him walk up.

"I phased to tell you Claire was here but Brady told me you ran off after some scent that had you going crazy. I see you found her." He nodded toward the house.

"I couldn't help it." I said.

"Yeah. Well, I figure you've been standing here for a while and still haven't eaten since before your run, so why don't you come with me for a little while. We'll get some pizzas and you can come back after." Embry suggested.

Food. Was I even hungry? I didn't know.

"Come on." He laughed and pulled me away from Sam's house. "Don't make me order you."

"But she's _here_." I complained as we walked further away.

"Yes, and she'll be here later too." He was still laughing at me.

"Did you see her? She's gorgeous." I said.

"She's growing up nicely." He agreed.

Growing. She's not grown yet. She's still so young. My mood dropped. "Oh no. She's only fifteen and I . . . I _am_ a pedophile!" It was true. I wanted her. When I first saw her, before Sam came out, I felt like a boy going through puberty all over again. My body had done things I haven't felt in thirteen years. I'm twice her age! I am disgusting.

Embry just laughed. "No you aren't. Do you think normal rules apply to us? You had an extreme growth spurt at sixteen, you regularly burst into a huge wolf, can rip apart vampires with your teeth, have super senses and healing abilities, have a soul mate and can potentially live forever. You are not normal. Besides, I've seen in your head and know for a fact that you haven't been attracted to a woman in years, and that includes Claire. If you are attracted to her now, then she is ready for you to be, or she will be soon."

I shook my head. "I still need to be careful and not rush things."

"Especially since you haven't actually spoken to her yet." He pointed out.

"Oh, yeah." Way to jump ten steps ahead, idiot! I berated myself.

"Don't worry. I've got your back. I'll try not to let you embarrass yourself too much." Embry offered.

We walked into my house and Embry called for pizza while I channel surfed on my sad little excuse for a tv.

. . .

**So? What do you think? Do me a favor and leave a little note.**


	4. Chapter 4

Return to Me – part 4

Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. I just have an overactive imagination.

Claire POV

Driving into La Push was strange. The near constant headache I'd had since the weekend of Quil's grandpa's funeral eased slightly just after we passed the sign welcoming us onto the reservation. I stared into the forest as mom drove in silence, having exhausted our conversation much earlier. She seemed anxious for some reason, and while I knew she loved seeing her sister, that just couldn't be it.

She drove us straight to Aunt Emily's house where the door opened before we could even get out of the car. My four cousins pushed out the door past Emily and nearly knocked me over in their attempts to be the first to hug me. Emily hugged me after mom and Uncle Sam stood on the steps watching the forest carefully, only hugging me on my way into the house. He stayed outside after the rest of us came in and lurked by the door while we started talking in the area between the kitchen and family room. The kids were going non-stop and I had a hard time keeping up with all of their questions. Emily watched me with a soft smile and seemed just as eager to hear my answers as her kids were. Mom just stayed quiet behind me, watching the reunion. I haven't seen my cousins in about a year; not since the last time they came up to Makah to visit us.

I have to admit, Uncle Sam's tense expression made me nervous. While the kids played 20 questions with me, he kept glancing out the window by the door and I half expected Quil to come bursting through any minute. I was actually a little disappointed when he didn't. I tried not to show it though, so my cousins wouldn't think I wasn't happy to see them. But it was bizarre when Sam slipped out the door and came back a few minutes later smiling. What caused the change in his attitude? Was it a wolf thing? Is that why he was watching the woods? Was it Quil? He was a wolf after all. My heart sped up a little at the thought.

I followed mom's lead and sat in the family room with everyone to talk some more. Sam and Emily exchanged a look and she seemed happier somehow. What was going on? And what is it with married people communicating without talking anyway? My parents do it too and it's so frustrating because it's like they have a secret you just can't know about. It's so unfair.

I glanced at the window and felt more peaceful. There was just something right about being here. It didn't make sense since this wasn't my home, but I found myself slowly relaxing more and more. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to live here all summer like I had feared it would. And yes, I did hope I would have the chance to see Quil and try to restart our friendship. I had no idea if he would forgive me, but it was worth a try.

A little bit before mom left I already started missing her. I guess I was anticipating being here without my own family, so I shoved the feeling back down and went out to the car with her to get my two bags. I had to pack everything that would define me for three months into two suitcases. Dismal. Oh well. I remember this place being fun, so I had to find something here to keep me busy right? Oh yeah. Last time Quil kept me busy and entertained. I didn't have him now.

I settled into my room with Emily's help after mom left. My oldest cousin Alex, who is thirteen, agreed to share a room with his younger brother Tyler who is only 8. The ten year old twins Kylie and Kara have their own room as well. And that left me in Alex's old room which is farthest away from Emily and Sam and would give me the most privacy. When Emily left me to go help Sam get the kids in bed I took a deep breath and sat down on the bed, staring at the black window across from me. As I sat there quietly a peace came over me and I smiled to myself. There it was again: that feeling that said I was supposed to be here.

I went to the window and pulled out the chair by the desk, moving it slightly so I could see out the window from it. I slid the window up and looked out over the forest from my second story room. The trees were bathed in moonlight and the forest was beautiful. I thought I saw a slight movement in the darkness but then the wind rippled through the trees bringing a cool burst of air into the room. I reluctantly closed the window and pulled down the shades so I could get ready for bed.

. . .

In the morning the twins woke me up promptly at 7:15. I clearly wasn't going to get to sleep in much here. Oh well, I almost didn't mind because the kids were so cute and excited to do something with me today. On the bright side I even woke up without a headache, which is a pretty rare thing these days. So when Tyler joined the twins in pulling and pushing me downstairs for breakfast, I pretended to resist and we were all laughing as we half-wrestled our way to the kitchen where Emily was making waffles. We joined Sam at the table where he ate quickly so he could get to work.

"So what do you do Sam?" I was embarrassed that I hadn't thought to find out before now. I guess since Quil told me about the pack and Sam's role there, that was how I pictured him.

"I work for the office of tribal affairs, but I'm basically a glorified handy man. I fix what needs to be fixed, keeping up public lands, trails, signs, and buildings. At first it was a way I could work but still have a loose schedule to handle the pack, but I got used to it so I stayed with it after I retired from the pack." He answered.

"That's cool." I said.

"Yeah, until he takes you along and you spend all day cleaning camp sites and burying logs in the ground to reinforce hiking trails." Alex said around a mouthful of sausage.

"And somehow you survived." Sam rolled his eyes at his son and I almost snorted out my orange juice.

Emily came over to the table with another stack of waffles and sat down across from me. "What do you all want to do today?" she asked.

"Dinosaurs!" Tyler yelled.

"Monopoly!" Kylie called.

"Movie!" Kara voted.

"Frisbee." Alex said.

Sam just laughed as his kids then started arguing for each of their choices. Emily shook her head and started eating while I watched in awe. My house was so quiet compared to this. But I liked it. They had so much life. And luckily I didn't have to run away because my head hurt. This was a welcome change.

There was a knock on the back door a moment before it opened. Sam took a last bite of his food and stood up from the table as a tall man walked through the door. He waved and smiled at the room in general and then his brow furrowed as his gaze stopped on me. He looked familiar but I couldn't remember his name.

"Hi Jared." A chorus rose from all the kids.

"Hey," he responded.

"I'll be ready in a second." Sam said.

"Jared, you remember Claire. She's staying with us for the summer." Emily said and his eyes widened. She nodded once and his face relaxed into a small smile.

"Nice to see you again Claire. I'm sure you'll have a warm welcome." He said.

I was a little afraid of what he was referring to and I quickly decided to play things lightly. "Yeah, my cousins have been really great." I said.

Sam came back and kissed Emily on the cheek then joined Jared near the door. "Let's go." He said simply and the two men said quick goodbyes and left.

The kids returned to their argument and fought for my attention while Emily sat quietly eating and stealing glances at me. I felt my cheeks burn slightly and pretended to listen to the kids while I tried to swallow down the rest of my breakfast. I knew Jared used to be part of the pack and no doubt knew of my friendship with Quil. I was both dreading and waiting for someone to mention him, but it seemed like we were all tip-toeing around the giant wolf in the room.

My right hand automatically moved to my left wrist to pull at the worn leather bracelet. I ran my thumb over the smooth green stone to soothe myself, as I often did when I felt nervous. The fact was that sooner or later I would see Quil and I would have to face whatever his life was like now. Since I often snapped or changed the subject, my parents learned long ago not to mention my old best friend, so I had no idea if he had moved or was married and had kids. My stomach turned as that thought entered my mind. Part of me was dying to ask Emily, the other part of me was afraid of the answer. I was at an emotional standstill and wished someone would just take the choice away from me. It wouldn't make facing him any easier, but it might take away the stress of trying to figure out when or if I would ever be ready to see him.

"Claire?" Kara waved a hand in front of my face. "Are you in there?" she teased.

"Sorry. What?" I pulled myself from my thoughts and focused again on my cousins. I quickly looked away from Emily's concerned face.

"Alex just asked you what you want to do. We can't decide." Kylie said.

"Monopoly." I picked the option I felt could take the most time and which would hopefully keep us occupied and on safe topics for the rest of the morning.

I was right. We ended up playing an epic game that lasted until early afternoon, only taking a small lunch break when Emily forced us to. Alex won and quickly started gloating, causing the girls to flee to their room and Tyler to attack him which led to a wrestling match on the family room floor. I laughed, enjoying their antics for a minute before retreating to my room as well. I was ready for a little quiet time to myself.

I closed the door to my room and went straight to the window. I opened it a little to let in some fresh air and sat in the desk chair beside it again. I stared out into the seemingly endless green of the forest on this side of the house and took a deep breath. There was something calming about being here. I hoped that mom was right and the change of scenery was what I needed. Something in my life had to change, that was clear enough. Maybe I could find the answers here.

I reached over to the desk and picked up my journal. I opened the front cover and pulled out a worn photo. It was Quil and I on my last visit to La Push when I was twelve: his arm was slung carelessly around my shoulders and we both had huge smiles. I hadn't had my last growth spurt yet and I only came up to the middle of his chest. To anyone else it would look like I was with an uncle or something due to the difference in our ages. I did a quick calculation in my head: he had to be close to thirty by now. He was twice my age, and yet he somehow mocked me as he smiled up from the photo with boyish good looks. Would he have changed at all by now?

The familiar anxious fluttering began in my stomach when I thought about seeing him. Would he hate me? Or worse, would he not even care that I was here? I doubted that he had spent as much time thinking of me as I did of him over the last three years.

A light knock on my door startle me and I hurriedly stashed the photo back in my journal.

"Come in." I said as I composed myself again.

Emily's head poked in the door as she opened it a fraction. "Hey Claire. Can we talk for a minute?" she asked.

"Okay." I said.

She slipped in the door and closed it again behind her. She came and sat on the corner of my bed, facing me. She noted my position by the window and nodded toward it. "I like the view from this room."

"Yeah." I agreed weakly.

Emily studied me for a moment. "Are you all right, Claire? Is there anything I can do for you?"

I shook my head. "I'll be fine. Thanks for letting me stay here."

"We are glad to have you." Emily smiled gently. "You used to come here all the time. We've all missed you the last few years. How is your head feeling?"

"Better. I only have a small headache today. I don't know if mom told you, but when I get a migraine I get kind of anti-social. It's easier to avoid loud noises and stuff while I wait it out, so don't take it personally." I said.

"I have a feeling you won't have many migraines here." Emily said. Then she looked down at her hands in her lap as she thought for a moment. She lifted her head and smiled again. "I haven't been able to ask yet; is there anything specific you want to do while you're here this summer? There are a lot of people who are excited to see you. Would you mind a welcome back party?"

"Uh, a party?" I hesitated. A party meant lots of people and attention. Was I ready for that? "I haven't really been to many parties, outside of birthdays, anyway. I don't know. And I don't have any plans this summer other than being here."

"Oh." Emily looked disappointed. "Well, would you mind if some people came by to say hello? I know they are anxious to see you."

"Really? Who wants to see me?" I held my breath.

"Mostly the pack, since they are the ones you spent time with before. There is a small group who knows the truth and it's relaxing for the guys to hang out and not have to hide things. They are comfortable with you because you know."

"Yeah." And it all came back to Quil again. He was the reason I know about the pack in the first place. "That's okay I guess, they can come over."

Emily smiled again, her emotions showing plainly on her beautiful scarred face. "All right. I'll let them now." She stood up and started for the door. "Are you hungry? Do you need anything?" she asked as she opened the door to leave.

"No thanks. I'm okay." I said.

. . .

Quil POV

I slept in the forest in my wolf form that first night. I watched happily as Claire looked out the window into the forest where I sat to be near her. I knew she couldn't see me, but it warmed me inside to know she was so close. I curled up and had the best night's sleep that I've had in years.

I woke up when the sun rose and reluctantly went home to shower. I had the early shift at the garage and was eager to get to work and get things done. I finished everything in record time and went straight back to Sam's house to my spot just out of sight below Claire's window and phased. My heart leapt when I saw her inside and I had to force myself to hold still and remain quiet when she opened the window again. That open window called to me like an invitation and hope rose inside me. Maybe she would be ready to see me again. I still don't know what I did to scare her away but I prayed that whatever it was didn't matter anymore and she would let me into her life again.

I could see her face clearly from where I sat. She was looking at something and it seemed to make her sad. A strange mix of emotions emanated from her room and I longed to talk to her. Luck was on my side though and I heard Emily come to her room to talk. Emily was clearly worried about her and I was glad to hear that Claire's headaches were easing. I hoped it was because of me. If I could make her life easier or better in any way I would do it, even if it was just by being out here, nearby.

Emily offered Claire a party and I felt that she was nervous. But then she agreed to see people when they came by. It was all I could do to not go barreling into the house that second.

_Down boy_ Todd teased me.

_Shut up. You don't understand_.

_Oh, I've lived in your head long enough. It would be a little weird if you show up the very moment she says she's okay with seeing people. So how about we come back tonight with Embry and we can help you act casual._ He offered.

_ Thanks. That would be great._

_ No problem. Any changes for you? Can you feel anything yet?_

I flexed my paws in the soil below me. It wasn't cool or gritty. I only felt a slight pressure which was my only indication I was touching anything. _Nope. Not yet_.

_ Hmm. Maybe seeing her will help._

_We'll see, won't we?_ I said.

_ Alright. Well, stop stalking her then. Go home and do something for a while. We'll go back after they have dinner tonight._

_Fine._ I grumbled.

I heard Todd's laughter in my head as he kept running his circuit around the res. I took a last look at Claire's window. She was looking out over the trees above my head, lost in thought. I didn't dare hope any of those thoughts involved me. Maybe after I see her again tonight they will though. I waited a minute until Claire looked away so I could move safely and I darted further into the woods and ran as close to my house as I could get before phasing. I was hungry anyway. I tried to convince myself that eating would be enough of a distraction.

. . .

I was staring unseeing at my tv when Todd and Embry came by that evening. I had eaten and forced myself to sit and wait instead of running straight to Sam's to see Claire. I knew I should play this reunion carefully, since I had no idea whether or not she would be happy to see me. My brain knew this, but the rest of me didn't care. I had no pride, I could admit it. If I had my way I would pull her into my arms the moment I saw her and beg her to tell me what she wanted me to do, anything she wanted, to let me into her life.

It was a relief to stand up and walk out the door with the guys. Embry drove us through the neighborhood to Sam's house on the edge of the forest. When he stopped the car I was torn between the intense need to run into the house and a debilitating fear of what could go wrong once I got inside. If she accepted me – if she accepted me . . . I was afraid to think it. I would be in heaven. And if I couldn't have that. . . If she forbade me to see her and sent me away again I would have no reason to live.

Embry cleared his throat and I looked up at my brothers standing in the open car door watching me.

"Maybe we should wait and come back tomorrow. You look kind of green." Embry said, looking doubtful of my ability to function at the moment. He wasn't the only one questioning that.

"Yeah. She will still be here." Todd agreed.

I shook my head. "I can do this." I said as much to reassure myself as them.

Embry opened his mouth to contradict me and I jumped out of the car and started walking toward the house. I _would_ do this. The guys quickly caught up with me and flanked me as we reached the door.

"Let me lead out, okay? We can see how she reacts to you." Embry said. I nodded and in my periphery saw that Todd had a hand on my elbow. I don't know if he meant to comfort or restrain me, but it didn't matter because Sam opened the door right then.

"Hey guys. The kids are all playing games in the kitchen. Emily made cookies." Sam said in full voice. He stood directly in my path while Todd forgot everything and made a beeline for the food. He dropped his voice so only we could hear. "I haven't been able to talk to her about you, but Emily said she was willing to see people. Just act normal, as if it were any other time you come over. Don't pressure her."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Sam led us into the hub of the house; the kitchen and family room area. I casually followed Embry and Sam to the kitchen counter where there was a huge plate of cookies Todd was already enjoying.

"Hi guys." Emily said in greeting. The kids sent up a chorus of 'hi's as well and Tyler waved frantically at his hero Embry.

I tried to act normal as I looked over the room with a smile but the moment my eyes locked with Claire's I was lost. She stared right back at me and I couldn't distinguish the beating of her racing heart from my own. The rest of the room fell away and I wasn't aware of any sight or sound but her. She was beautiful. I was captivated by her: the shiny hair, her body, those eyes! My confidence faltered when I saw fear in her eyes. She swallowed nervously and her eyes dropped back to the game in front of her. The world came crashing back around me and I heard a low buzzing in my ear.

"Stop staring." Embry mumbled to me and I tore my eyes away from the sweet girl across the room. I felt cold and completely ungrounded as I shuffled my feet and shoved a cookie in my mouth.

Emily stood up and came over to us as the kids resumed their game. "What are you boys up to tonight?" she asked.

"We just wanted to remind you about the bonfire next Saturday. Everyone is bringing their kids early to play on the beach for a bit." Embry said.

"Oh good. Alex has been bugging me to let him come to one." Sam said.

I listened to the conversation but stole glances at Claire, trying not to draw attention to myself or make her uncomfortable. During one of my glances I noticed her right hand tugging at something on her other wrist. Could it be? The smooth green stone caught the light as she nervously fiddled with the last gift I was allowed to give her. My heart sped up, knowing that she still wore it. That had to mean something!

At one point I caught her watching me as I looked up again and I tried to smile but she turned away too quickly, the unmistakable rose of a blush painting her cheeks. I wanted to go to her and beg forgiveness. I have no idea what I did wrong, but I was sorry and I would fix it given the chance. I must have started to move because I was aware of being restrained and looked down to see Sam's hand gripping my upper arm to stop me. His stern expression calmed when I made eye contact and shrugged to say I didn't mean it.

I then followed the guys over to the couches as Sam turned on a video game. I was grateful for something else to focus on although my body was keenly aware of Claire's location in relation to mine. I pushed down the desire to turn around every few minutes just to look at her and was supremely grateful for my understanding brothers and all of their effort to make this more normal. I just wish I knew how to approach her. I had to know if she could still care for me at all.

In the middle of our third game Emily made Tyler leave the kids game so he could get ready for bed and she gave the twins a half-hour warning for their turn. The board game must have ended then because Alex wandered over to watch us and cheer for his dad. Through quick glances I discovered that Claire was in the kitchen with Emily. I was so relieved that she hadn't run off to her room and took it as a good sign that she could stand to be around me.

Embry killed my character in the game and won. I handed my controller to Alex and went to the kitchen under the pretext of wanting another cookie. I went straight to the plate and took two. I ate the first one in two bites and Emily dried her hands on a towel after washing the last pan from dinner. Claire ghosted behind her as they joined me at the counter.

"Hi Claire." I somehow managed to keep my tone normal, but man, did it feel good to say her name!

"Hey." She said quietly, looking away. She looked sad and I wanted nothing more than to gather her in my arms and reassure her that everything would be okay.

"How is your mom doing Quil?" Emily asked conversationally.

I swallowed the last of the second cookie. "She's doing all right. She put off going through grandpa's things for a while but we cleaned out his room last week. Dad is encouraging her to make it into a sewing room, but it's been hard to convince her that it's okay to let go and move on. Grandpa would have wanted her to use it though."

"That is a good idea. She is so talented and deserves to have a space all her own like that." Emily said with a smile.

"No kidding. After putting up with us kids, especially me, she's earned it." I chuckled. It wasn't easy trying to keep a young werewolf fed and clothed. We were lucky Avery never had to phase too.

Claire listened to our exchange in silence but I caught her eye and smiled. She gave me a small smile in return and reached for a cookie for herself. It might not be much, but I call that progress!

I opened my mouth to say something else when Embry stood up and stretched.

"Thanks for the cookies Emily." He said. "But we better be going. Quil's got the next shift anyway."

I looked between him and Claire in a panic. We were just getting started and he was going to make me leave right now?

"Yeah, good game Sam. I'll get you next time." Todd promised.

Sam snorted. "I doubt that."

"Nice to see you again Claire. We'll probably see you around this summer." Embry said and clapped his hand on my shoulder, urging me to move toward the door.

"Sure." Claire said and glanced quickly at me again, looking somewhat nervous.

"Bye Claire." I managed to get out as I was practically pushed out the door. Embry didn't look like he was trying too hard and heaven knows I wasn't helping, and then I realized that Todd was pushing me from behind as well. It must have looked ridiculous, but I was beyond caring at the moment. I had just spent time in the same room as Claire, which was more than I could say for the last three years.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still not Stephenie Meyer. Still just playing around for fun.**

Claire POV

It's done. I've seen Quil now and I am relieved. Sure it was a little awkward and we didn't say much to each other, but now I've seen him and I think I can deal.

He just came over with two others guys in the pack to hang out with Sam, like it could be any night, any time, nothing important. But it felt important to me. From the moment he walked in the door until he was pulled away by the others – still not sure what to think of that – I felt different. I felt warmer and my head was so clear I could almost remember what it was like to not have a constant headache.

And I always knew where he was. Even when I wasn't looking I could feel him there, nearby, like a homing beacon or something. It was weird, but nice at the same time.

I was so nervous and he looked nervous too. But he was also happy. I saw it when his eyes locked with mine a minute after he came into the house. I think he was happy to see me. That's so much more than I could have hoped for. And being with the guys – he looked like a single guy who had nothing better to do on a Friday night which made me happy too. That is so wrong! What kind of friend am I if I'm glad the guy is alone? Well, I've already proven I'm not a great friend. And I certainly wasn't having friend-like feelings toward him either.

He is hot.

And I don't mean werewolf high body temperature hot, either.

_He's twice your age, he's twice your age, he's twice your age._

I kept repeating this to myself as I struggled to focus on the card game I was playing with my cousins. But I kept stealing glances at the back of his head as he sat across the room playing some military shooting video game. His black hair was shiny and looked soft. I've never had the impulse to run my hands through a guy's hair before. This is so messed up! I'm just the idiot little girl who stopped being his friend three years ago. He does not need me crushing on him!

So when he came into the kitchen and said hello I was ecstatic. And I was a moron. I just said 'hey' and nothing else. Emily swooped in to help out and he talked about his family a little. His voice was deep and warm and I could have just listened to him talk the rest of the night. I wanted to say something to him, keep him talking, make him smile, and keep him there looking at me but my mind was a complete blank. Other than taking in his smooth skin and his white teeth and those eyes! I was completely useless.

Then Embry and the other guy came over and said it was time to leave. I like to think Quil looked disappointed. And then there was the whole dragging him away thing, again. Seriously, it didn't look like he was even aware of them as his eyes locked with mine for the second time and he was slowly moving away. His mouth opened to say something and all I could do was watch in silence as Embry pulled his arm and the other guy got behind his back to push and they were out the door so fast. I'm pretty sure they were using some werewolf speed there or something.

But he was gone.

And I felt cold and a strong jolt in my head brought the familiar throbbing back.

I clutched my head and I think it scared Emily for a minute. I asked for my meds and she quickly got me a pill and some water. I gulped it down and made a few excuses before rushing off to my room. I felt bad for running off like that and I know I saw Sam and Emily exchange a worried look, but I just had to get out of there.

I lay on my bed in the dark and heard murmuring voices and Alex and then my Aunt and Uncle as they went to their rooms and settled down to sleep for the night. I wasn't ready to sleep yet. My head was full of strange thoughts from seeing Quil. This couldn't be normal. Seeing him again reminded me of all the good times we had when I was growing up and I now I felt drawn to him. But it felt like something much stronger than nostalgia. It was attraction. The kind I've read about and seen in movies but never felt myself. I mean, I've had little crushes on cute guys at school, but nothing I would tell anyone or do anything about, just enjoying the view from across the classroom or something. But this, what I felt just being in the same room with Quil tonight, it was electric and strong and I wouldn't forget it next week.

I don't think I will ever forget how I felt around him.

The house is quiet and I can't go to sleep. The pounding in my head has eased slightly and I am hungry. So I creep downstairs and into the kitchen where I grab a slice of Emily's home-made bread and start munching. I stare across the room, imagining Quil still sitting there on the couch playing the video game. For no reason I wander over to the couch and sit down exactly where he sat earlier. I lean back into the pillows on the couch and I can smell him. It's been so long but I recognize his cologne and I snuggled deeper into the pillows where I can smell him better.

How many times did I fall asleep to this smell as a child? I used to sit on his lap when he read me bed time stories and I would be surrounded by it. On lazy Saturday afternoons we would cuddle on the couch and I fell asleep with my head on his chest as his deep rumbly voice told me stories and legends from his tribe. Little did I know he was preparing me all those years to know his secret.

After he told me the truth, all his secrets, and I accepted it without question – those were the best few months of my life. He was so happy and _free_. I could feel it radiate off of him. He was content, knowing that I didn't care and was still his friend even though he was different. And I understood that it wasn't easy for him, hiding things all the time. And I had felt so glad that he could trust me and be himself around me.

And I ruined it.

Something wet slid down my jaw and onto my neck and I realized I was crying. A sob escaped my throat and I put a hand to my mouth as I started to shake. I single handedly destroyed the best thing in my life and tonight when I finally saw Quil again I didn't do anything. I should have begged his forgiveness, or asked if it was possible to be friends again. I should have hugged him tight and never let go.

Who am I kidding? He would have peeled my arms off him, patted my head like the good little girl he saw me as and then kept his distance. That's how this all started anyway, right? A misunderstanding of the friendship we shared. He was the perfect gentleman with me, the best friend ever and nothing more and I had wanted to defend that. Of course, I was a little kid at the time and have grown up quite a bit since then, but still. He won't feel the same way I do.

This is just a crush. I'm just overwhelmed from seeing him again. This will go away with time and I can act normal around him. This is just a crush.

I sniffed loudly and wiped at my wet cheeks with my long sleeve.

"Claire?" Emily's soft voice floated to me from the stairs and I sat bolt upright. She crossed the room to me and sat down on the couch with her body turned toward me. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry. I couldn't sleep." I said and sniffed again, trying to keep my stupid running nose in check.

"It's okay. Do you want to tell me what's wrong? I'm a pretty good listener?" she offered.

The kindness in her eyes brought fresh tears to my eyes. She couldn't help me. No one could help me. I was too royally messed up.

I shook my head. "No, it's okay Aunt Emily. I'm just, I don't know, missing home I guess." I lied.

Emily slipped her arm around my shoulders and hugged me carefully. "It's okay, Claire. I know this is an adjustment, being here, away from your home. But you know Sam and I are glad to have you and we want you to feel at home, and like family, while you are here."

I just nodded.

"You know, you used to come stay with us a lot when you were little. It started because of your dad's job and how he used to have to travel a lot. I remember one time he was going to be gone for a whole week and he and your mom were so unhappy about being apart that I offered to take care of you and Alyssa so she could go with them. That was back in the early days of the pack. It was the first time most of them met you: the first time Quil met you." she paused and smiled warmly with the memory. "You were only two but you took to him immediately and he was wrapped around your little finger from that moment on." She laughed. "He followed you around all day, played little ponies and pretend princesses with you. I knew then you would be life-long friends."

That really didn't help. A few more tears ran down my cheeks and I quickly brushed them away as I sniffed pathetically.

Emily gave my shoulder a squeeze since her arm was still around me. It was so like mom and I felt comforted.

"It was kind of hard for me tonight to see that you couldn't even talk to him. Can't you tell me what happened, Claire? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. I know he's missed you."

I pulled away from her comforting arm and sat forward on the seat. "No. I can't talk about this." I stood up and crossed the room, keeping her behind me as I stared out the window into the darkness of night. I've never told anyone the truth. This was my burden, the one thing I could do for Quil. I would never repeat the things people said that made me push him away to protect him. I don't care how late it is, how sad I am, or how much my head hurts. I won't say it.

"I'm sorry Claire. I know you don't like talking about him, but please just give it a chance. He is our friend, and we love you both. We just want to see you two talking again at the very least."

I bobbed my head once in acknowledgement and then heard her footsteps retreat as she went back up to her room. My shoulders shook and I cried for a moment before returning to the couch and the pillows that smelled like Quil. I collapsed into them and sank into the softness, wishing life weren't so complicated.

. . .

It was the end of my first date with Quil. We stood in front of my front door and he was hugging me. He kissed my forehead as he pulled back to look in my eyes but kept his arms around my shoulders. I squeezed my arms which were around his waist and smiled up at him. I was so happy.

Quil lifted a hand to brush my hair behind my ear, then his hand slid back into my hair at the base of my neck and he leaned forward. . .

There was a dull thump to my left and the world tilted.

My eyes snapped open and I was on Sam and Emily's couch, hugging a pillow to my chest as my cousin Tyler bounced again, setting me further off balance and I fell back on the couch staring at the ceiling.

"Whatcha doin' down here?" Tyler asked as he bounced yet again in true eight year old fashion.

I groaned and rolled to my side, pushing myself up into a sitting position so I could rub my eyes.

"Huh?" yeah. I'm eloquent when I first wake up. Especially if I'm pulled out of the _best dream ever_!

"We're not allowed to sleep on the couch unless we have a sleep over. Why didn't you sleep in your room? Do you sleep walk? Can you make pancakes? Mom makes good pancakes."Tyler rambled at me as I grounded myself back in reality.

"Ummm." I stalled. What did he ask? What do I answer first?

"Leave Claire alone, Tyler." Sam grumbled, walking into the room in a t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. He ran a hand through his hair and yawned as he flipped the tv on to the morning news.

"What's Tyler doing?" Alex asked, ambling in still wearing his pajamas as well. He really looked like a younger copy of his dad since he was wearing the same thing. Give him a few more years to gain some height and muscle and they could be identical except Alex's hair is long, hanging well below his shoulders while Sam never grew his out again from his wolf days.

I wonder what Quil looks like in the morning.

Stop it! I scolded myself and stood up shakily, glad that I wasn't the only one in my pajamas.

"Good morning." I mumbled and went into the kitchen to get a drink.

"Who's hungry?" Emily practically sang as she came down too and headed straight to the kitchen. I normally don't mind mornings too much but she was just a little too happy for me at the moment. Over-all though, I decided that I like Saturday mornings in the Uley house because it's pretty relaxed. I even escaped awkward questions because Tyler got distracted by breakfast and forgot all about me sleeping on the couch.

After that we all lounged around and I played a game with the kids while Sam and Emily spoke quietly in the kitchen. We finished our fourth game around lunchtime and I went into the kitchen to help Emily make sandwiches.

Kylie was staring out the window into the backyard and suddenly turned around.

"Mom, can we go to the beach today? It's actually kind of sunny and dad promised we could go when the weather was good." She said.

Sam grinned and then gave Emily a pleading look. "I did promise."

"All right. We can go after lunch." Emily agreed.

The kids all cheered and ran off, leaving Emily and Sam laughing while I wondered what just happened.

"They are getting their stuff out so they are ready to go." Sam informed me.

"Do you have a bathing suit?" Emily asked me as if she hadn't thought of it before.

"Yes I do."

"Oh good. We have a towel you can use, but I think my suits are too big for you." Emily said in relief.

She was right. I wasn't as curvy as she is and her suit would be too loose and ridiculous on me. I was glad mom made me pack my swimming suit after all.

When the sandwiches were made the kids all came down to eat and then there was general chaos while everyone got their things from their rooms and gathered again by the back door. Tyler and the twins had some beach toys, Alex was loaded down with towels, Sam had a cooler and Emily had a bag of sunscreen and whatever she thought she would need. I carried a paperback book I grabbed from Emily's bookshelf.

I followed the family down a path to the beach. Once Emily picked a spot to settle in, towels were laid out, toys were scattered and everyone went off to do what they wanted. I didn't know what I wanted to do yet, so I just sat and watched people on the beach. Not far away there was a group of guys playing football. Sam had jogged straight over to them after giving Emily a kiss. I recognized Embry, Todd, Jared and Quil. I didn't know everyone else with them but most were of the same height and build so I guessed they had been part of the pack at some point. Quil told me it got quite large once because of a threat that was now long gone.

The care-free teenage girl inside me squealed. A busload of hot shirtless guys was playing football on this beach where I could watch. I wasn't the only one to notice them either. Several clumps of vacationing women and girls all along the beach had stopped to watch and drool. Sam was incorporated into the game in only seconds and the game continued. I let myself watch just like everyone else, not caring how it might look since I wasn't the only one intrigued by them.

The football soared through the air, was caught by someone I didn't know and he was tackled. On the next play the ball was passed to Quil. He ran a short distance and then two guys pounded him into the sand. They were laughing when they all pulled each other to their feet but Quil looked confused and looked down at his left arm which hung strangely from his shoulder. I couldn't hear but it looked like he cursed and Embry jogged over from the other team while Sam and Brady braced Quil between them. Embry shoved hard on his shoulder, everyone winced but Quil and then he rolled his shoulder experimentally and shook out his arm for a moment before play resumed.

"That happens all the time." Emily said from behind me.

"What?" she surprised me and I turned to face her.

"Quil's shoulder was dislocated. The boys play rough but he's rougher."

"Why? Doesn't it hurt him?" I asked.

"Well, it would hurt a normal person." Emily said hesitantly.

"But not a wolf, right?" I guessed.

"Not exactly. It would hurt a wolf too for a minute, but Quil is different. He's . . . been through a rough time and his sense of touch has dulled. He can't feel anything." Emily told me. "Watch when he catches the ball: he has to see it in his hands to know whether he has it or not."

I watched closer for the next half hour. Sure enough, when Quil would get the ball he would look down frequently to make sure the ball was tucked safely in his arm. When he got tackled from behind he looked confused that he was falling and would look down to see if the ball stayed in his grasp. All of the things others did by feel alone, he had to concentrate on. I hadn't noticed because he compensates for it so fluidly and he doesn't make it look hard. But now that I was paying attention I could see the difference. No one treated him differently though, or hit him any less hard than the others.

I knew Emily wouldn't tease me about watching the guys play now, so I enjoyed the view while I took this all in. All of the guys were tall and muscular, it was clear why so many women stopped to watch them. They moved with a fluid animal grace that was hard to ignore. While all of them were handsome in their own right, my attention always drifted back to Quil and his smooth copper skin. This was more than interest in what Emily told me, I knew that, but she didn't have to know.

My mind flitted back to my dream this morning. In it Quil and I were equals, with no age barrier. Just two normal people who were dating. But I can't date him. I'm mildly surprised by this thought. I've never wanted to date anyone before. I had the group of friends who I hung out with, but I wasn't ever singled out by anyone and it hadn't ever bothered me. I know Beth worried for me and the girls had asked once why I didn't date. I just shrugged and told them I wasn't interested in anyone, which was true. Two of them had whispered something that sounded like Quil's name then nodded to each other. I quickly changed the subject that day.

Now I cursed my age. Quil was physically stalled somewhere around 20, he told me that before, and it would take me several years still to catch up. Maybe I could just be patient and pray that he didn't imprint before I was out of high school and could date him without the danger or sending him to jail or starting the nasty rumors again. If I could somehow get him interested in dating me. Doubtful. My heart sank as I watched him goofing off with the guys down the beach as they set up for another play.

Quil suddenly looked up and his eyes went straight to me. He looked concerned. I quickly ducked my head, feeling embarrassed to be caught watching him. I murmured something about finding my cousins to Emily and jumped up off my towel not looking back. I was glad that I still wore my shorts and t-shirt over my suit since I felt like someone was still watching me as I walked across the sand toward the water where my cousins were attempting to build a sand castle.

I played with them for the next hour, getting our feet wet in the cold water, searching for shells and rocks to put on the sand castle, and trying to build a very tall tower in one corner. It was all lop-sided and kind of pathetic in the end, but it was nice to just play and not think about my complicated life for a while. Emily waved us over to the towels where she and Sam were lounging in the sunshine.

"Come drink some water kids." she said as we got closer. The twins had been reluctant to leave the castle, but they clearly weren't about to go against their mom. It made me laugh because Emily is so sweet most of the time, but Sam and the kids knew not to push her buttons. I bet the guilt over making someone like her angry would be worse than her actual anger. That's enough incentive to do what she asks right there. The kids plopped randomly all over the towels and obediently drank the water Emily handed out. Sam chugged a sports drink and Emily held out a water bottle to me as well.

But I was frozen, staring at the corner of my towel. There were several green stones piled there waiting for me. It took me a moment to tear my eyes away and look at Emily.

"Quil left them for you. He said you might like them." She answered my silent question.

I just nodded mutely and sat down on the opposite end of my towel, hugging my legs to my chest and staring at the rocks while I nervously fidgeted with my bracelet. I couldn't believe he did this. The stones were all smooth and rounded from the pounding surf. I knew for a fact that it wouldn't be easy to find this many nice looking stones in one afternoon, let alone the short amount of time I was away from the blanket. How did he do it? When did he do it? And of course, why? It was our thing – why would he still look for them when we weren't together? Maybe it wasn't such a special thing after all.

"What's wrong Claire?" Emily's soft hand rested on my shoulder and she knelt next to me. Sam and my cousins were gone, down the beach looking at the sand castle. I glanced up the beach in the opposite direction and saw no sign of the football game or the guys other than Brady and another one I didn't know talking animatedly with some of the girls who had been watching.

"Sorry Emily. I'm just. . . confused I guess. I don't know what's wrong with me." I said. What was wrong? Quil was thinking of me. He did something nice just for me. I should be ecstatic. But the truth was that it scared me. What if we started hanging out again and people here on his own res started talking badly about him? What if I had solved one problem only to create another by bringing it to his home? I didn't want to do that to him. All of my crush-related feelings towards him suddenly felt very wrong.

Emily was pretty perceptive though. "Is it the rocks? Quil was just trying to be nice, honey. They look just like your bracelet so he must have thought you would like them."

"Yeah, I know. I mean, I do, like them, that is. It was nice." I stammered.

"Quil cares about you, you know. And he really missed you, just like we all did."

"Yeah. But he shouldn't care."

"What do you mean? Why shouldn't he care?"

I just shook my head. "Forget it." I grumbled and hugged my knees tighter.

I've only been here a few days and I was already a mess. I had to figure out some way to keep Quil safe from me, and I clearly didn't have much time.

. . .

Quil POV

_ She was completely freaked out. By rocks!_

_So?_ Embry asked. He was on patrol and I was running because I couldn't stay home and sit still.

_ So how am I supposed to walk up and talk to her if she panics when I just leave rocks for her? I'm totally screwed!_

_ No you aren't actually. That may be part of your problem, you know . . ._

_ Shut up Embry. Sleeping with someone won't help me, besides, how could I do that to Claire? It's just not right. Not when I have an imprint._

_Its not like Claire is dating you, and at this rate she never will. I say you just tell her everything. Even Old Quil would back me up on this if he were here. Your imprint is here – she's living on the res with your old Alpha. That's as close as you'll get to an engraved invitation my friend. You can make all this right if you just tell her the truth._ Embry insisted.

_ Yeah, okay. She freaks out if I'm on the same beach as her – she won't even look at me. So I'm just supposed to corner her sometime and say 'hey, you're my soul mate. Let's go somewhere and make out.' I don't think so._

_ You wanna make out with her? That's great!_

_So not helping right now._ I complained.

_Fine._ Well, I'm tired and you clearly have too much energy, so why don't I just leave you to your thoughts and go get some sleep. Come get me if you need to. Otherwise Todd will be on in a few hours. Embry wheeled and headed back toward his house. A few minutes later he phased out and I was alone.

I'm screwed. I don't care what he says. The only good thing about today was that she did take the rocks with her when she left. After the game I quickly ran home and brought them back, leaving them with Emily and then stayed on the beach, but back out of the way where she wouldn't notice. It killed me to see her reaction when Emily told her I left the rocks. I've been collecting them over the last few years, hoping I would be able to give them to her one day. It was complete torture. She said she didn't want me to care about her. Why not?

I don't understand this at all.

So at the end of a long run I've resolved to do one thing and one thing only. This week I will give her space. I will sleep outside and she won't know a thing. Other than that I will be scarce. The others can go hang out and act normal but I will stay away until the bonfire a week from now. Then I will try to act normal around her. I won't crowd her. If there is any luck left for me in this world she will stay all summer so I can just be around and get to know her again. And I can pray that she will eventually warm up to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Bummer.**

Claire POV

The next week was uneventful and I settled into a nice pattern with the Uleys. It was nice. And it was the first week in a long time that I only experienced mild headaches. Not one migraine! This place was good for me somehow. I had a good time with my cousins and we often played board games in the evening after dinner, but by the middle of the week my novelty had worn off and they wanted to see their friends too. That was fine with me.

I spoke with mom on the phone every other night and on Thursday I spent a half hour each talking with my older sister Alyssa and younger brother Devon. I didn't think I would miss them much because I am surrounded by my cousins, but there's just something different about your own siblings. They know me better and aren't afraid to talk back and annoy me sometimes. My cousins are great, but they are still treating me like a guest so far. I hope that will calm down the longer I am here.

Now its Saturday and the kids are excited about the bonfire tonight because they get to stay up late. I am nervous though because I know that bonfires are basically pack parties and Quil will be there. I haven't seen him since the beach last week and we haven't spoken since that first time he came over and played video games with Sam and the guys. Other than staring at me a little he was very calm and didn't make a big deal out of seeing me. Maybe our friendship wasn't that important to him after all. Maybe its all in my head.

Sam knocked on my open door and stuck his head in. "Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure." I stood up and followed him down to join the rest of the family who were waiting for me to leave.

"I'm glad you dressed warm. These things can get crowded and its hard to get a seat by the fire sometimes."Sam said conversationally.

"Let's go!" Tyler cheered, pulling on his mom's hand as he eagerly leaned toward the door. We walked the short distance to the beach and the already blazing fire. Tyler, Kara and Kylie all dispersed to find their friends among the other pack members' children. Alex went straight to Embry and pulled something out of his pocket to show the older man. I scanned the crowd and saw Jared with his family and Todd. There were a few more men around the fire I didn't remember and of course there was Quil sitting on a log staring into the flames.

Several nights similar to this jumped straight into my head at the sight. Every summer Quil arranged for me to be here for one or two of these bonfires. We would make a day of it and end up here with me tucked under his arm for warmth, dozing happily as the familiar tribal legends were told. My chest tightened as I thought how different tonight would be.

I've been in La Push a little over a week and this is only the third time I've seen my former best friend. He didn't jump up in excitement to see me, we've hardly exchanged any words and now I was petrified both that he would talk to me and that he would ignore me. I was frozen with indecision.

That's when he looked up at me from across the fire. I thought I saw his eyes light up for a moment when he saw me but his face remained unreadable and he was still other than a twitch in his right hand. I stood there like an idiot just staring back at him. I didn't know what to do, what I could say, to make things right. Has too much time passed? Am I just clinging to something I can never have again? Doubt filled me and Quil flinched, finally looking down at his hands as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Claire?" Emily was suddenly beside me, placing a hand on my back to guide me. "We have a spot over here."

I looked where she pointed and saw the family getting settled on a blanket and log not far from where Quil sat. I followed my aunt's guidance, glad to have the decision taken from me. Emily paused to reintroduce me to Paul and Brady as we passed them. I saw Quil lean over to a young couple next to him on the log and say something. He stood and they scooted into his spot, freeing up more seating where Sam sat with my cousin Tyler on a blanket at his feet. The woman beckoned me as we approached.

"Come sit down. There is plenty of room."

I did as she said and she smiled warmly at me.

"I'm Carly, Greg's imprint." She indicated the young man beside her and he smiled and gave a little wave as well.

"Hey Claire." He said. "You probably don't remember me. I was only part of the pack for a little while when you were really little. Because of the Volturi." He explained and I nodded to show I understood. He was one of the very young who phased because of the threat that turned out to be nothing in the end. Most of the boys in his position stopped phasing almost immediately so they could resume school and somewhat normal lives.

"Hi." I said and looked down at my seat. "Thanks for making room."

"Of course." Greg said, as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

Emily appeared carrying plates of food for herself and Sam and sat down beside me. "I'll save your seat while you go get something to eat." She offered.

"No need." A deep voice said quietly and I looked up to see Quil holding out a plate full of food for me.

"Thanks." I took the plate and he gave me a small smile before walking away again. My hands drifted down to rest on my knees with the heavy paper plate laden with food as I watched his retreating figure. He stopped across the circle from me and talked to Paul and Brady for a moment before going back to the food table to fill his own plate. I was surprised and flattered that he had made sure I had something to eat first. That was exactly how he used to treat me, always taking care of me first and I felt my cheeks heat with shame. I didn't deserve his kindness and consideration now, yet he still gave it freely. My appetite was gone and I stared at the food wishing I could disappear into a hole. He got me all my favorites: a cheeseburger with ranch Doritos both on it and to the side, a little potato salad with extra mustard and pickles and two chocolate chip cookies tucked into the side.

I looked up again as Kara and Kylie came running over with little girl squeals. A boy was chasing them but was caught and stopped by Paul who gave him a playful swat on the backside before setting him in front of some food his mother was holding. His giggles dissolved as he attacked his hot dog with enthusiasm. My eyes swept over the rest of the scene before me. Families, couples and singles all mixed in a friendly, family like atmosphere. Everyone belonged and looked comfortable in the place they held in this group of tightly knit people. I suddenly felt like an intruder. On the fringe of this group one of their own hovered uneasily, stealing glances at me, the cause of his discomfort. It was difficult to stay sitting and not run away in an attempt to fix what I had put wrong here by coming.

Yet everyone had smiles for me. No one looked at me with an accusing eye, singling me out as a source of pain. Even Quil, the one who out of them all had the right to resent me, didn't push me away or call me out for this intrusion. And that made it even worse. And for once I didn't even have the excuse of a headache to allow me to escape. So I did the only thing I could. I dropped my head and focused on eating the food in front of me and tried to draw as little attention to myself as possible while still glancing up on occasion to track Quil's movement and position around the group for the next half hour or so as the sky grew darker.

When the food was gone, thanks to the healthy appetite of the wolfpack, everyone settled in, children gathering around parents and couples snuggling closer as the tribal leaders took their place by the fire to tell the traditional stories. This oral tradition held its own kind of magic as we sat spellbound under the deep resonating voice of Billy Black. I heard a familiar story first and then another old tale I had not heard before.

I hugged myself against the cold, shivering slightly despite my proximity to the fire. I felt oddly incomplete as I sat there alone, although I was surrounded by people. It was the first time I experienced the storytelling without Quil by my side and I felt his absence acutely. Through the dying flames I saw him standing at the edge of the group, arms folded, eyes downcast as he listened intently. His skin glowed in the firelight and my heart ached for him as he stood alone, one of the very few singles left in the pack. Contrary to the legends, imprinting was not a rare thing for this group of men. In fact, it seemed to be the rule rather than the exception, and yet Quil, Embry, Brady and Todd had been left out so far. It seemed a cruel thing to me for them to be alone while surrounded by so many ridiculously happy couples.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a soft touch on my shoulder. I looked over to see Carly smiling at me.

"It was nice to meet you Claire. See you around." She said and I realized that Billy had stopped talking and people were beginning to leave.

"You too. Have a good night." I said.

On my other side the Uleys were standing as well. Sam stretched his large frame and then held a hand out to his wife to help her to her feet. He pulled her straight up into his arms and hugged her, leaving a kiss on her lips before bending down to pick up Tyler who was fast asleep. Alex nudged the twins who were dozing as well. When they stood up he put an arm around each of them to guide them home. I helped Emily pick up the blanket and began to follow Sam and his little train of children away from the dying fire.

When we were about fifteen feet away from the quietly dispersing crowd I turned to look back and saw Quil standing still and silent, watching us leave. His dark eyes locked with mine and I fought down the urge to run straight into his arms. It was difficult to turn away from him and follow my family home but I did, feeling like a huge coward for not talking to him more.

. . .

Quil POV

I woke up at dawn in my usual spot outside of Sam's house. There was a small hollow, a low spot behind a fallen tree and rather sheltered so I wouldn't be seen too easily unless someone was looking for me. In the weak morning light I rose and stretched, yawning hugely before taking a final glance at Claire's bedroom window and trotting off deeper into the forest. After all these years it was surprisingly easy to stay so long in my wolf form as I spent my nights here, as close to my imprint as I dared get.

Its been four days since the bonfire. Four freaking days of nothing! And I behaved myself that night. I gave up my seat so she would be comfortable and I got her a plate of her favorite food and then I stayed away. I kept myself on the opposite side of the fire most of the night so I wouldn't go to her. I held myself back even when she shivered and I wanted nothing more than to hold her close and keep her warm and comfortable. I was good and gave her space. And now it is more than clear to me that space is all she wants. She doesn't want me: not as a friend, not as a man, who am I kidding, not even as an acquaintance! Carly got more conversation out of her than I have in the three times we've been near each other at all. I don't know how much more I can take to be honest.

I phased human and went into my house to shower before work. I might only be a mechanic, but I don't have to go there smelling like a pig and it makes clean up easier afterward. I went to the garage and worked my full shift. I talked with the others when we broke for lunch but mostly kept to myself which is pretty normal for me anyway. I stayed late to finish a particularly difficult repair and walked home in the dark. I showered again to get rid of the grease, threw on some shorts, made myself three sandwiches and collapsed on the couch to stare at the tv while I ate.

It was only 8pm so I decided to stop by and see Claire for a minute under the pretense of needing to talk to Sam. That's not overbearing, right? I won't make her talk to me or anything, I just want to be in the same room as her for a few minutes. So I went and put on a shirt and some shoes and then walked over to Sam's, forcing myself to go at a human pace and get myself calm and under control the whole time. When I got near the house I could hear a conversation going on outside.

"I didn't know you were going away for the whole summer." A young man complained. He sounded whiny and I instantly didn't like him.

"My mom arranged it. I didn't have much warning and I didn't think anyone would miss me that much other than my family." Claire answered.

"I miss you. I mean, I had plans. I thought you would be around and I could finally. . . don't you know how much I like you?"

"What? No I didn't know. You've never said or done anything. . ." Claire was cut off and as I rounded the house I saw a young man holding her by her upper arms and kissing her. I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to breath.

When he released her Claire took a step back with narrowed eyes. "Kevin? I don't understand. You are always telling people that I'm used and damaged."

Anger heated my body. Who did this kid think he was, treating Claire badly? I took a few more steps to be closer in case she needed me to get rid of him.

"I didn't want them to get to you before I could, so I gave them a reason to stay away." He said.

Claire's face flushed red. "You did that on purpose? How could you spread lies about me like that and think I would like you?"

The boy, Kevin, I guess, opened his mouth to say something and his eyes flicked up and saw me at the last second. His eyes hardened and he gestured toward me. "So that's it, huh? You won't date me but you'll hang around _him_." His voice was venomous.

Claire turned toward me with confusion coloring her features. She caught her breath and then she glanced back at Kevin and her face fell. Was she embarrassed that I was here?

"This isn't a good time Quil." She said quietly and then angled toward him again. "It's not what you think Kevin. He's one of my uncle's friends."

"Right." He didn't sound convinced. "We all thought you finally got rid of him but you've been coming here instead. Claire, you know he isn't good. You don't have to let him touch you. Come back and I'll show you, I'll treat you so much better."

"You don't know anything." I said, moving even closer. I had to get him away from Claire, he was hurting her. I could sense her pain.

Claire put a hand up. "Stop Quil, you aren't helping. Just go see Sam or whatever you came here for." She sounded tired and resigned.

I shook my head. "If he's bothering you. . ."

"I said _go_. Please."

"If that's what you want." I said quietly, looking straight into her eyes. She didn't yield so I did as she wanted. I went to the front door, jerked it open roughly and walked straight through the house and out the back door, earning confused looks from Sam and Emily. I started running when I reached the trees. I didn't phase, I couldn't put my brothers through this. I just ran.

I felt sick. He accused me of touching Claire, of physically abusing her. It was clear that he thought I was a pedophile and had hurt Claire. And she didn't correct him. She sent me away again and now I know why. She must have been afraid of what I would do to her. She thought I was the monster I've worked so long and hard to prove that I'm not. Nothing matters now. Not if that's how she sees me.

An hour later I stumbled into my house and went to my room. I slept in my own bed for the first time in the two weeks since Claire came back to La Push.

. . .

Claire POV

Everything is a mess. This afternoon Beth, Tammy and Kevin showed up at the house with no warning. I was surprised and happy for a little bit, glad that they actually missed me. I wasn't expecting that. So I invited them in and we talked for a little while about the last two weeks, what everyone was planning to do this summer. Kevin and Beth both got jobs and Tammy will go to visit her grandma in Oregon next month. Aunt Emily was really nice and invited them to stay for dinner since she's used to cooking for a crowd. Alex kept trying to flirt with Beth which was kind of funny and sweet at the same time. He doesn't know she just started dating Matt.

After dinner we were hanging out for a while and then Kevin asked to talk to me privately. That was weird and there was no way I was comfortable taking him to my room so I suggested that we go out front. It was actually kind of nice and not raining tonight so that would work. When we got out there he acted kind of strangely and then asked if I was coming home soon. I told him I was staying here the whole summer. He took that in for a second and then asked if he could come up this weekend to take me on a date. What? Where did that come from? I told him no because he is so not who I want to go out with on my first date. Then he got upset saying that he had a plan and he likes me. That's news to me. All this time I've been sure he was out to ruin my life and keep me miserable. This is so stupid. And then the jerk just grabbed me and kissed me.

No! That can't be my first kiss! I was so mad and wished I could rewind and avoid that. Crap. Then, as I'm trying to process all this Quil showed up out of nowhere and Kevin jumped to his usual stupid conclusion that he was abusing me and I was too stupid to get out of it. That definitely didn't improve my mood. I couldn't think straight I was so angry and bothered and why did Quil have to show up right then and make things worse? I didn't want him to know my friends thought of him that way. I had to fix this so I told Quil to go inside so I could talk to him once I got Kevin straightened out. Quil looked so hurt and angry when I told him to leave and it felt like three years ago all over again. Kevin was so going to pay for that!

When the door slammed behind Quil I turned on Kevin and I knew I must look bad because he suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"What is wrong with you? Isn't it enough that you ruined my life in Makah? Now you have to follow me here and insult me and my relative's friends? There is no way I will ever go out with you because I don't like you! For your information, you are the only person who has ever touched me against my will just now when you kissed me. _You_ are the bad guy here, not Quil! You've done nothing but make me miserable for years and I want you to leave right now. Don't come back, don't call me, and just don't ever try to talk to me again." I growled in frustration as I paced in front of him. "It's because of people like you that my life sucks right now!"

I turned from him and started for the door as pain seared through my head. I collapsed onto the front steps just after I noticed Sam and Emily standing in the open doorway with Beth and Tammy behind them watching in shock. It was a moment before I could open my eyes and when I did I couldn't see Quil. Emily came to me and wrapped her arms around me as my eyes started to water. Sam ushered the girls down the steps toward Kevin who stood staring at me, speechless.

"Its time for you to leave." Sam said with authority. "You heard my neice – don't come back unless she invites you."

"Claire?" Beth asked in a quiet, scared voice.

Sam stepped in her way, effectively blocking her from my view. "If she wants to talk to you she will call." His tone left no room for argument and I felt a little bad for Beth because she was the only one I cared about.

Tammy, Kevin and Beth got in Kevin's car since he was the only one with a license and they started to drive away. When Sam was satisfied that they were going he came back and picked me up, carrying me inside to the couch. Emily brought me a glass of water and my migraine pills.

Alex came in the back door trying to catch his breath. "I couldn't catch him. He's just running but he didn't phase. What happened?"

"Quil left?" I asked, wanting an answer despite the roaring in my ears.

"He came straight through the house and left without a word. That's when we came out front to check on you and heard you yelling." Emily informed me.

"I'm guessing he saw Kevin kiss you from what you said." Sam looked grim.

I nodded sadly and lurched forward with the urge to vomit. He didn't stay. He wasn't here to hold me and make me feel better like he used to always do. And I felt deep inside that he wouldn't be coming back. I pushed him away one time too many. I couldn't stop the sobs and tears as I fell into a complete mess. I felt someone holding me again but it wasn't the right someone – they weren't warm enough and they couldn't cheer me up with the slightest touch.

They weren't Quil.

. . .

Emily POV

Things aren't going like I hoped they would. Part of me feels horrible for Quil and Claire and the other part wants to knock some sense into both of them. If I could I would lock them in a room until they talked everything through and could come out as friends at the very least. That would help restore some sanity for them both, I think.

Claire is sweet, but she's been painfully shy and reserved since she got here. She is only a shadow of the girl she once was. She speaks to her mother regularly so I'm glad she has a good relationship there, but as far as I've seen she has only called her friend Beth once. She is great with my kids but steps aside when anyone else comes over and I don't think it's strictly the age difference. She seems afraid and I'm not positive why.

I have talked to Sally quite a bit, trying to find a way to help and it all comes back to when Claire told Quil to leave her alone. A little before that Sally says she stopped spending much time with friends and pretty much started pushing everyone away. She even distanced herself from Alyssa and Devon at home and Sally thinks she's been hiding something even from her. But the frustrating thing is that we have no idea what.

I thought that simply getting Claire here would lead to an opportunity for she and Quil to talk and resolve things quickly so they could both stop suffering. I know her headaches are related to their separation. She even told me last week that her headaches haven't been quite so bad here and the only times I've seen her deal with a migraine are when she and Quil are in pain. I just wish I could talk to her about it but she is so sensitive and only spoke willingly about him when we were at the beach.

But I do have hope. The few times they've been near each other they can't help but watch each other and I know she wants to say something, I can see her get ready but something stops her. Quil is still attentive to her and did what he could to take care of her at the bonfire but his fear of more rejection keeps him at a distance.

Sam has been keeping a close eye on things and talking to Embry quite a bit about Quil's state of mind since Claire came back so we can find a way to help. But things have taken a turn for the worse since Claire's friends came. I help Claire for two hours while she cried that night, leaving Sam to round up the kids and get them in bed. My heart broke for her as she cried and I tried to soothe her but she still shivered as if cold and cried until her tears ran dry. When she was starting to calm down she muttered that she didn't blame him for leaving because she's not worth it. That made me both angry and sad because she should never think of herself as unworthy of anything. I just don't know what she was referring to. I got her to drink some water, helped her to her room and into bed and then met Sam back in the kitchen feeling drained and exhausted that night. Little did I know what was in store for us.

Claire spent the next two days almost comatose as she fought a migraine. I got the kids off to play with their friends but she didn't want my company or help. I called Sally the first morning to let her know what was happening and she told me what to expect. So I did what I could to keep Claire comfortable.

Sam has been tracking Quil's reaction and it isn't much better. Before 'the visit' as we've come to call it now, he was hopeful and was trying to be patient and wait for Claire to give him some sign she was ready to talk and resume their friendship. Since the visit, however, he has been distant. He disappeared for a full three days, refusing to answer the phone or his door or phase. He even missed work, not bothering to call in sick or anything. When he finally did come out he went to work and even ran a patrol but refused to think or talk about Claire. Instead he only thought about what he was doing that moment, something he had done at work, or even thought about places he can move to. That got Sam and Embry in an argument about taking things into their own hands and just telling Claire the truth without Quil's permission to see what her reaction would be. I sided with Sam on that and said it's not time yet because she is still in bad shape.

Once Claire's headache calmed down I suggested we try to help her meet kids her age in an effort to make things more normal and comfortable for her. She was hesitant but came with me to one of the youth classes offered at the rec center. She was polite and more friendly then I dared hope and even seemed to connect with a girl just older than her named Andrea. Claire was a little more at ease after that but she is still sad.

Now Claire has been here a month and we haven't seen Quil since the visit. I'm about ready to side with Embry and just tell Claire everything about the imprint. I don't see how it could make things worse.

. . .

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who is reading. Please review and let me know what you think. Also, I recently rediscovered a song which could totally be Jacob's anthem in New Moon: "I'll be the One" by the Backstreet Boys. Give it a listen and tell me if you agree.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I just torture the characters.**

**Song that I like for Quil and Claire: Never gonna be alone by Nickelback.**

**A/N: so I had a really hard time with the last chapter and this one. I'm kind of nervous to post because I'm still not sure that I got it just right, so I hope it isn't too bad. Anyway, here goes. . .**

Claire POV

The summer is finally starting to move and feel like summer should for me. I still spend a good amount of time with my cousins in the evening but during the day I've been spending some time my new friend Andrea and some of her friends here in La Push. Emily has been really supportive of this and let me miss a few family dinners because I was doing things with them. I overheard her talking to mom the other day and she is glad that I'm adjusting and acting more like a normal teenager.

All of that is true but there is still one thing I'm hiding from her, and that is the ache. I still have a constant dull headache going on, so that's nothing new. Now I have an ache in my chest that just lingers and flares at random times. I can almost ignore it like I do my headache because its becoming normal for me. Things have calmed down at the house and I don't feel a constant pressure to see Quil because he just hasn't been around. No one talks about him or tries to get me to talk either and I haven't seen him since he stormed off after his run in with Kevin. I still feel bad that I didn't get to talk to him afterward but I guess he finally figured out just how bad I am for him after what Kevin said about him being bad. I can't blame him for not thinking I'm worth that aggravation. Its what I wanted to spare him from in the first place.

On Friday I was home because Andrea had to help her mom get ready for her brother's birthday party. Jared's wife Kim came over with their two kids – Tasha who is eleven and Matt who is nine. They both played with the twins and put up with Tyler while Alex went off to see his friends. I stayed with Emily and Kim this time, letting the kids play with their friends. Matt is just younger than the twins, but he and Kara were virtually inseparable. It's the first time I've seen her gravitate toward someone other than her twin, but this was hard not to notice. When I made a comment to Kim and Emily about it they just smiled knowingly at each other. Whatever.

Kim was pretty interested in me since we haven't really spoken since I got here. She told me she was glad when Jared came home from work that first day and told her I was here for the summer. I wondered why it would matter to them. Not that they aren't nice and all, I mean, Kim is shy but really friendly and Jared seems okay though I only seem him for a few minutes every morning when he and Sam leave for work. But once she got comfortable she gushed about how grown up I was already and that it made her feel old. Sorry about that . . . Later when the kids were all busy playing upstairs and we were eating some fresh zucchini bread around the table Kim asked what I remembered about the pack. Emily gave me a panicked look but I couldn't blame Kim for asking.

"Well, Quil only told me about him being a wolf a few months before . . . um . . . he told me that he was in a pack and Sam used to be the Alpha and then Jake and now he is. He said the pack used to be big but the guys retired when they found their imprints, like Sam did to be with Emily when she found out she was going to have Alex. He told me about all their powers, or abilities or whatever and all the old legends and the battles he was in." I listed everything off.

"So you got the basics. Only Quil isn't Alpha anymore, Embry is." Kim corrected me.

"Oh. Do they take turns or did he retire?" I was confused, and a little scared. If he left the pack that meant he had an imprint.

"No, he's still in the pack. He just kind of stepped down." Emily said quickly.

"I didn't know he could do that."

"He didn't either the last time you spoke." Emily answered and then cringed as she realized what she said. "Its not a common thing for an Alpha to step down and stay in the pack, but then there never was much that was normal about the current pack."

Kim giggled at that.

I felt like I was safe asking these women questions so I took a chance and kept going, hoping they wouldn't read anything into it.

"Did he have to give it up because of the touch thing – how he can't feel or whatever?" I asked.

Emily and Kim exchanged another one of those looks before Emily answered. "No, his loss of feeling came after. But he was seriously depressed for a while and stopped functioning. The pack needed an Alpha so Embry took over since he had the most seniority."

"Depressed? I can't picture that." I said. He had always been so happy. Well, until lately, I guess. He's been quieter than I remember each time I've seen him.

"Then be glad you didn't see it." Kim muttered.

Emily gave her a sharp look and she looked sorry. I didn't know what to say. What could have upset him so badly?

"Wait, what do you mean he stopped functioning?" I asked. That sounded serious.

"I don't know if I should say any more. It's not my story." Emily looked nervous.

"Please." I said. I know I had no right to ask, but I couldn't stop myself I wanted to know what happened to him.

Emily sighed, but continued quietly as if she didn't want to say these things out loud. "He was suicidal. He tried everything but he kept healing too fast. His wolf was too strong to die."

This was wrong. This was all wrong. "Why would he do that?" I asked in shock.

"He was hurting." Kim answered. "I heard him tell Jared the pain helped stop the ache in his soul."

I swallowed nervously. I knew about aching.

"Embry ordered him to stop and some time later he realized he couldn't feel anything any more. He was in a bar fight and didn't realize a bottle was broken over his head or his stomach slashed open. That was a bad night." Emily said and Kim nodded sadly as she remembered.

I felt like I was going to be sick. This didn't sound anything like my Quil. My head burst in searing pain and I clutched it in my hands, doubled over in pain. Why did this always happen when I thought about Quil? Guilt couldn't cause migraine's could it?

Emily leaned forward and put a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong Claire? What can I do?" she sounded panicky.

I couldn't speak, it was hard to form thoughts, and images of Quil laying hurt and broken on the ground overwhelmed me. I tried to look up at Emily but I couldn't focus and my vision blurred and finally went black.

. . .

Embry POV

After running the night shift I went home and passed out on my bed. In the early afternoon I was woken up by frantic howling. It sounded like Brady and he was coming closer. The timbre of his voice had me out of bed and crashing out my back door in seconds. I haven't heard that kind of howl in years – the kind caused by the pain of a pack-mate. I stripped and phased, running toward the sound and as soon as I entered the pack mind I felt fear and confusion mixed with relief.

_What happened?_ I demanded.

_I'm blind_. Quil's voice was soft in my head but I heard it the second before Brady went off.

_ We were just running, you know how Quil feels better running all the time these days. And the pictures from his head just disappeared. He was going fast and tried to stop but he slammed into a tree. It didn't knock him out or anything, dude's got a hard head, but he can't do anything – it's not like he can feel his way around you know. He's just sitting out there in the forest and it's freaking us both out. How could he just go blind in a second like that? What's going on? Will it happen to me too? Can we stop it?_

_Brady, stop!_ I ordered and he quieted immediately, dropping to the ground and laying his muzzle on his paws.

I needed a second to take this in. I reached out to Quil's mind and heard the river nearby, but there was nothing to see. I could see myself through Brady's eyes when I tried, but that was it. Crap.

_ Calm down, Brady. I don't think this will happen to anyone else. Are you okay Quil? Are you hurt?_

_ Like I'd know if I was hurt. I can't even look for blood, but other than not being able to see I feel normal – for me._

_Could you have run into something that injured your eyes and we just need to wait for you to heal?_ I asked.

_I might not feel stuff, but I know how to not run into stuff while I'm running, Embry_. Quil sounded annoyed.

_Sorry. Just had to check_. I had an idea. _Okay, just give me a minute guys. Brady, go to Quil and look for injuries just in case, otherwise stay with him since he can't protect himself right now. For all we know this is a vampire with a special ability like the Cullens had. Howl if you need me. I'll phase back as soon as I check on something._

I phased and ran back into my house. I picked up the phone and dialed Sam. Emily picked up on the third ring. She sounded shaken.

"Hello?" her voice quavered.

"Emily, its Embry. Are you okay?" I asked. My suspicions might be right.

"Oh, Embry, yeah, sorry. Just a little worried. Claire is. . ." she paused.

"What happened to Claire?" I didn't mean to sound so harsh.

"We were talking. She was asking questions about Quil. I said too much. I just want things to be better, I want them to talk and work it out, but when I told her how Quil used to hurt himself she clutched her head and passed out. She's okay though, I think. I mean, she's sleeping, but it scared me so bad Embry. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have told her. I had no idea she would. . ." Emily was babbling but I got what I wanted.

"It's okay Emily. I want them to talk too. I have a feeling everything can be fixed easily if we could just force them to talk it through. But hey, how long ago did this happen?"

"Not long. Kim and I got her to the couch and now she's wrapped up and we are watching her close. Wait, why are you calling right now Embry?" Emily always was smart.

"Quil lost his vision while running. I wondered if it had something to do with Claire."

"He's blind?" Emily's voice broke again.

"Yeah. Brady is with him. I'll go help in a minute. We think he is okay otherwise. Well, as okay as Quil gets these days." I told her.

"Oh no. We have to do something, to fix this." She sounded resolved.

"I agree. And we will do something. But right now I have to go get a blind wolf home and hope he can phase when we get there."

"Good luck." Emily said.

"Just let me know if Claire gets worse, okay?"

"I will. And call me later with an update on Quil." She requested.

I hung up and shook my head. From now on the legends were going to include warnings about messing with imprints if I had a say. And no matter the age, the imprint would be told about the connection so they couldn't abuse their wolf. This whole thing just sucks.

Not that I blame Claire though. She had no idea what she was doing when she sent Quil away, and we still don't know why she did it in the first place. That's something we need to know. I remember when Claire was little. I could have sworn she loved Quil as much as he loved her. None of us saw her rejection coming and I honestly don't think she would have done it had she known what it would do to them both. Because in my mind, I had no doubt her headaches were due to the separation as well.

And even if he is a masochistic idiot sometimes, I don't blame Quil either. I mean, I've seen all his thoughts, I felt all his misery, and I get that he doesn't want to force anything on Claire, but there has to be some limit right? I mean he could have told her and stressed how he would only be what she wanted him to be: no pressure for a romantic relationship. His feelings didn't turn that way until she came back last month anyway.

I clamped down on my thoughts and phased so I could go to Quil and Brady. I could see where they were through Brady and I hurried there. Quil looked alright, just a little beat up with leaves and twigs in his fur from his sudden stop and he was just staring straight ahead in an odd way, but other than that he was fine.

_Of course I'm staring blankly, I can't see anything._ Quil thought.

_What were you doing?_ Brady asked.

_I called Emily. Claire passed out. She's just sleeping now but she's okay so don't freak out. I'm guessing that affected Quil somehow._

_Claire? Why did she pass out? _Quil was upset.

_ She found out that you were depressed and hurt yourself. It freaked her out._

_I hurt her_. Quil was miserable.

I reached the guys then and stood beside Quil. _Can you see what we see?_ I asked him.

_No_.

_Alright. Stand up. Just stay between Brady and I and we will guide you_.

_How am I supposed to know if I'm between you?_ he asked.

I cursed. _Fine. Just walk when I say. We will push and guide you, just keep yourself moving and we'll get you home_.

_Okay_. Quil answered meekly. He took a few steps forward and Brady and I fell in beside him, nudging him with our bodies as necessary to avoid obstacles. He would jump to clear a log when I told him to but other than that he didn't respond to us much. His head was a complete mess of fear, sadness and resignation.

Shortly before we reached his house I caught some coherent thoughts from him again.

_ This is it. It's finally going to be over and I will be free. At least I got to see her again. She's amazing. I won't bother her anymore._

Well that's craptastic. Without a word I started guiding our odd little group back around the res and through the woods. I sensed Brady's confusion for a moment but he followed without question, catching on to my plan quickly enough. We stopped well inside the treeline near Sam's house and I told Quil to stop. He didn't respond or acknowledge me.

_STOP_. I used my alpha voice and Quil stopped moving. He sat down and curled into a giant furry ball on the forest floor.

_I can smell her_. He sighed and closed his eyes.

_Quil I need you to stay right here, okay buddy?_ I said to him.

Nothing.

I couldn't even tell if he heard me, his head was so messed up.

_What's happening?_ Brady sounded scared again.

_I think he's shutting down. We're running out of time. Just stay here with him while I go get Claire. Howl if he tries anything_. I instructed and started walking to the house, phasing on my way. It was time to fix this.

I knocked on the front door before walking in. Emily looked up at me from a mug she held in her hands on the table.

"Embry." She nodded to me.

"Hey Emily. Where is Claire?"

"Still asleep in her room. Kim took all the kids back to her place and I called Sam. He's coming home now. How is Quil?"

"Bad." I glanced back at the door as Sam came in and then I continued. "I want to wake her up and take her out to him."

"Emily said he's blind." Sam came up to me.

"Maybe deaf too. I'm not sure. He's not really there anymore. His mind is. . . I can't even explain but its messed up." I said.

"And Claire?" he looked at Emily.

"Asleep." She answered.

"Alright. Let's think this through, figure out what we can do to help Quil." Sam began.

"No. I'm done. I'm not watching them suffer anymore – it doesn't have to be like this. We are waking her up, telling her the truth and taking her out to him. If they don't feel better, if things don't change, then I'll leave it alone." I said.

"What if she doesn't want to help? We still don't know why she pushed him away to begin with." Sam pointed out.

I lost it. "Don't you get it? We are about to lose the first wolf from our pack and it won't be because of a vampire or old age. He's dying! I have to at least _try_."

Emily reached out and put a hand on Sam's arm. "Let him do whatever he wants." She said.

Sam looked into her eyes for a moment and then nodded. He led the way into Claire's room and then stood back. She was laying still on her bed, her forehead scrunched in what looked like pain. I gently sat down on the bed next to her and reached out a hand to smooth her brow and then trailed my fingers down her cheek. Her face turned into my hand.

"Claire. It's time to wake up." I said.

"Quil." She murmured and then her eyes fluttered open. I pulled my hand back as she looked at me, struggling to focus for a moment. "Embry?" she asked.

"Yeah. We need your help Claire. Will you come with me?" I asked.

She started to sit up and I reached out to help her. She looked from me to Sam and Emily and wrinkled her forehead again.

"What happened?" she wondered.

"You fainted." Emily came forward and handed Claire a glass of water. The woman is a wonder, I swear. Claire sipped the water for a moment.

I heard a bark and a whine from outside and stood up. "Claire, please, I need you to come with me." I begged.

"I don't know what I can do. What's wrong?" she asked, but she still turned and put her feet on the floor. She stood up and looked unsteady so I swept her into my arms and started moving.

I was out the door in a flash and Claire held tight to my neck as if she were afraid I would drop her. She didn't know me well enough to trust me yet. I didn't care.

"Quil is dying. He needs to see you." I said.

"What?" she sounded more awake now.

Brady was pushing at Quil's head with his nose when we arrived and I set Claire on her feet in front of the wolves. Brady looked at me sadly and whined. We were too late.

Claire dropped to her knees in front of Quil and sank her hands into his fur. She stroked his head. "Quil?" she looked over him and ran a hand over his paw. "What happened to him? Was it a vampire? I don't see anything wrong." she looked up at me.

I shook my head. "No. He was rejected by his imprint. He's been getting worse for a while now but today he just, . . . it got to be too much, I guess." I told her.

Sam and Emily walked up to us then and Emily caught her breath. "Is he?" she couldn't even say it.

"I can hear his heart beating, but just barely." I said. Brady whined again. "Just phase Brady. I don't want you to feel it if he dies." I honestly didn't know what that would do to us, if we felt the death of a brother in wolf form. He trotted off and returned wearing his cut offs.

"I didn't know he had an imprint." Claire's voice was small and I could hear tears in it. "He's so kind, and good and caring. How could she reject him?" she had been stroking his face the whole time. Now she crawled to his side and leaned against him, resting her head above his shoulder, but continued running her hand along his cheek and down his foreleg.

"You tell us." Brady bit out before I could stop him. He was shaking slightly and I reached out a hand to calm him. He stepped back when she looked up in shock.

"What? What do you mean?" Claire asked.

"Why did you send him away?" Emily asked gently.

"Me?" Claire looked down at her chocolate wolf and her tears began to fall. "After my birthday party, when I was twelve, the kids spread rumors about us at school. They said terrible things about Quil; that he molested me, he was a pedophile, and did things to me. They thought I was too afraid to say anything. My teacher offered to call the police and the school counselor kept trying to get me to admit that he hurt me. It was terrible." She buried her face in Quil's fur. "I couldn't stand to hear them talk about him that way so I told him to leave before they tried to arrest him or something. No one believed me when I said he was my best friend and would never hurt me. I didn't know how else to stop it and protect him."

The words poured out of her as though she'd been dying to tell someone for years. And I realized then that she had. If she had mentioned any of this to her parents they would have told us. Quil could have explained that none of it bothered him so long as she accepted him. I remember that birthday, when he told her the truth and he was euphoric that she wasn't scared. That's why it was such a shock when she sent him away months later.

"Am I really his imprint?" she looked to Emily through her tears.

"Yes, honey. He's always loved you and wanted you to be happy. He couldn't go back when you said you wanted him to stay away." Emily said sorrowfully. There was no blame. How could there be? Claire didn't know what effect her actions would have, and now we knew she acted out of love. That was the tragedy.

"I wasn't rejecting him. I didn't know . . . I never wanted to hurt him. I thought I only brought him trouble and he didn't deserve that. Why didn't he tell me?" her hands were clutched in his fur as she continued to cry.

"Claire, why didn't you tell us what was happening at school? Your mom never said anything about that to us and she knew that Quil needed you."

"I didn't tell anyone. I thought mom and dad knew – the neighbors talked about Quil too. I knew if I told Quil I was worried about him that he would shrug it off but then he would still have problems because of me. And then earlier – you said that he hurt himself, that he was suicidal. That was all my fault." Claire moaned. "Oh no. This is my fault. He's dying because of me."

She wrapped her arms around his body and squeezed tight. "I thought I would have time. As long as he didn't imprint, when I was old enough I could tell him how much I care about him, when it would be safe for him."

"But you've been avoiding him and wouldn't talk to him." Sam accused.

"I'm still under-age. Just seeing him again, I was drawn to him, but I wasn't about to turn him into what everyone thought he was before. I've been stressed trying to figure out how to stay away from him all summer while all I want is to be near him."

I shook my head. Well, here's what you get when you don't communicate, I thought.

"Does he, did he still care about me?" Claire asked hesitantly. She looked afraid of the answer.

"Of course." I piped up. "You are all he thinks about. Believe me."

Brady nodded his head emphatically.

"Can't we wake him up? What can I do?" Claire asked.

"You're probably doing everything you can." Emily said. "But he might not know what's happening. I told you he doesn't feel touch, and when you fainted earlier he went blind."

"Just before I came to get you he acted like he didn't hear a thing I said either."

"Usually touch and being close to your imprint is enough, but he may be beyond that." Sam said. "Emily could always make me feel better by holding my hand and you are doing more than that. Our only hope is that he's heard this or can at least sense that you are here."

Claire looked down at how she was draped over Quil and her cheeks darkened slightly. Her eyes slid back to Quil's head and she looked like she had an idea. She leaned close to his ear and whispered but I could still hear her.

"Quil, it's Claire. I'm so sorry, for everything. I've missed you and I just want to see you as a man again. Wake up for me. Please?"

A shuddering sigh ran through Quil's body. I quickly pulled Claire away and watched as his body shrank and the fur receded until he was human. Sam had brought a blanket and shorts with him just in case and he lay the blanket over Quil now. Claire pulled out of my grasp and sat again beside Quil who lay on his side. She ran her hands over his bare back and arms.

"Quil? Can you hear me?"

His eyes opened slowly. He blinked several times and gazed up at Claire in wonder.

"Claire."

"Hi." She was suddenly shy.

He raised a hand to her cheek and sucked in a breath. "I can feel you."

Claire put her hand over his and lowered it to her lap where she held it in both her hands. She looked down and stroked his fingers.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, I swear." She said fervently.

Quil shook his head. "Don't worry about me."

"Stop being a martyr dude. You scared us." Brady said.

Quil looked at the rest of us like he hadn't realized we were there. "Hey." He sat up, holding the blanket over himself. Then he cringed and pulled a stick out from under his leg and tossed it away. "Ouch. I'm going to have to get used to that again."

I couldn't hold back the laughter. Clearly he wasn't doing too bad now. Sam laughed too and Emily even giggled. It was nice to have the tension and worry for our brother gone.

"Come on. Let's get you dressed and back to the house." I held my hand out to help Claire to her feet and Emily put an arm around her shoulders to lead her home. Claire looked back at Quil as though she didn't want to let him out of her sight. Yeah. Everything will be fine now. Quil watched her walk away in awe.

"She was touching me. She wasn't afraid." He said.

"Did you hear anything she told us?" I asked as I pulled him to his feet. He was a little unsteady.

"I heard her apologize then ask me to phase and wake up." He said.

"Are you up to phasing again for just a minute? There's something you should know and this will be faster."

He thought for a minute and then nodded. He turned back into a wolf while I stripped and phased as well. I replayed her explanation for sending him away.

_I had no idea that happened to her._

_She didn't tell anyone, not even Mark and Sally._

_She suffered alone._ Quil lamented.

_So did you. But now neither of you has to be alone._

I made sure he saw everything that happened from when I got Claire until now. We phased, dressed and walked the short distance to Sam's house. Quil leaned on me part of the way since he was physically exhausted. When we got close I could hear one of the heartbeats inside the house racing and Claire jumped up from her seat at the table when Quil and I walked in. She looked like she wanted to run to him but didn't know if that was okay.

"Come here Claire." Quil solved her dilemma by opening his arms and wrapping her in a hug as she obeyed.

"Why didn't you tell me about the kids bothering you?" he asked as he still held her tight.

"Why didn't you tell me I was your imprint?" she countered.

Quil sighed. "I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything. All I want is to be part of your life, Claire, any way that you will let me. I didn't want you to compare us to the other imprints and think I expected anything else." He pulled back and looked straight into her eyes. "Because I don't have any expectations. You just tell me what you are comfortable with and what you want and I will make sure you have that, okay? I just want you to be happy; that's all that matters to me."

Claire nodded and then hugged Quil tight again, burying her face in his chest.

I cleared my throat and nodded toward Brady. "Well, now that I'm not worried about any of the members of my pack, I think I'll be going. See you guys later." Brady followed my lead, said some quick goodbyes and we walked out of the house. Now that I could relax a little I felt hungry and tired.

. . .

Claire POV

Emily gently guided me away from Quil but I couldn't help looking back at him. I was his imprint. I had to let that sink in. All these years I've been afraid of him imprinting and not caring about me any more. And the whole time I had been his imprint!

And I had hurt him. Hurt him so badly he tried to kill himself. I was the worst imprint ever. I sent him away to keep him safe but had made everything bad for him anyway. He deserved so much better than me. How could I ever make it up to him that he was stuck with me?

I started to panic and then Quil and Embry came through the door. I jumped to my feet as if shocked. He was here. He looked so happy to see me and I was glad to see him but I felt so unsure of myself. Could I be what he needed?

"Come here Claire." Quil's voice broke through my apprehension and I gratefully went into his open arms.

"Why didn't you tell me about the kids bothering you?" he asked in a pained voice and gave me an extra squeeze.

"Why didn't you tell me I was your imprint?" I asked. I was feeling too much. There would be time for explanations later.

Quil sighed. "I didn't want you to feel pressured into anything. All I want is to be part of your life, Claire, any way that you will let me. I didn't want you to compare us to the other imprints and think I expected anything else." He pulled back and our eyes locked. "Because I don't have any expectations. You just tell me what you are comfortable with and what you want and I will make sure you have that, okay? I just want you to be happy; that's all that matters to me."

I nodded and my heart soared as I hugged him tight.

Embry cleared his throat to get our attention and both he and Brady made their goodbyes and left.

I didn't dare look up from Quil's chest and I decided to enjoy him holding me as long as I could. We stood quietly together for a few minutes until Sam came close. I closed my eyes to ignore him.

"Are you okay Quil?" he asked.

"Definitely feeling better." Quil mumbled into my hair.

Sam chuckled. "Good. We'll give you a few minutes."

"I need to call Kim." Emily said and I heard their retreating footsteps.

When we were alone Quil spoke softly.

"Claire."

"I'm so incredibly sorry Quil. I messed everything up."

"Shhh. It's okay honey. I messed up too. How about we call it all even and leave it in the past. We can start new now."

"But you heard Kevin. People don't understand. You can't come to Makah – it won't be safe for you." I protested.

"We will work it out. Just please don't send me away again."

"I won't. As long as you can forgive me." I insisted.

"I am flattered that you are so worried about me, but it will be okay." Quil reassured me.

"I knew you would blow this off. But they talked about jail. I don't want them to take you away."

"No one can keep me away if you want me around." Quil promised.

"But I can never make it up to you. I hurt you." I said.

"No." Quil said firmly and pulled away for the first time. "Don't do this to clear your conscience or because you feel obligated. I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't pressure you into anything. Lying now won't make anything right. Be honest Claire. If you don't want to be around me say so. It's better to have it all out in the open. Secrets haven't done us any good so far."

"I don't want you to ever hurt because of me." I told him.

"I knew it, you aren't ready for this. Look, it's like I said out there earlier, I just want to be part of your life, so we are friends okay? Let's just get to know each other again and be friends. You don't owe me anything and I don't want anything else, okay?" Quil was adamant.

"Okay." I agreed.

Quil ran a hand back through his hair. "Listen, I'm kind of tired after everything that happened, so I'm just gonna go now."

"You can stay here. Sam and Emily won't mind. Stay for dinner and we can talk more after dinner, you know, hang out like friends." I said, trying to get him to stay. I almost messed everything up again. I couldn't let him leave, feeling insecure like that.

"You know how I hate having leftovers." Emily said from the stairway.

Thank you Emily!

"Stay Quil." Sam came down behind her and motioned for Quil to join him on the couch where he turned the tv to a baseball game.

I gladly joined Emily in the kitchen, helping make dinner.

Jared brought the kids back when dinner was almost ready and he went and sat with the men, talking quietly for a little while. The kids swarmed me and asked questions about what its like to faint and was Quil really dying. I answered them all as quickly and simply as I could and was relieved when they switched their attention to Alex who came home from his friend's house with a new video game he borrowed. I finished setting the table and wandered over toward the couch to see that Quil had fallen asleep, leaving Sam and Jared to talk quietly while the kids chatted excitedly.

When Emily called us all to the table Jared said goodbye and Sam nudged Quil to wake him. He stood and automatically gravitated to the seat next to mine. He was quiet and still clearly tired but ate just as much as I remembered from before. It was amazing to me how good it felt just to sit next to him. His presence alone was soothing and I was more comfortable now that I understood why he had this affect on me. Looking back so many things made more sense to me about our friendship and why my parents were so accepting of him. Just like I had innately known he would never hurt me, they trusted him completely with me and my siblings because his own happiness and well being was tied to my own.

After dinner Quil grabbed my hand and led me back to the couch without a word. We settled into one end while the kids turned on the new game to play for a little while before they had to go to bed. Quil kept my hand in his and it felt like old times, when we were simply content to be with each other. There were many things to be said still, questions I had and apologies I couldn't help but feel were incomplete given the impact I had on his life, but there would be time later. Right now all we needed to worry about was enjoying the moment until he had to go home. So I did.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Unfortunately there aren't many of you so I lost my motivation for a minute and thats why I haven't updated in a while. But never fear - I will finish this story and soon.**

**Oh, and I still don't own the wolves. sigh.**

Quil POV

Somebody pinch me because I have to be dreaming.

I have seen Claire every day since the day I almost died and she found out about the imprint. Even if for only a few minutes, I have seen her and gotten my little dose of Claire. We casually hold hands like we used to and I can't get enough of her touch. It was strange – from the start her touch affected me but feeling other people and things was dull for a few days before my sense of touch returned to normal. Living without that sensation has made me more sensitive to it now and I can't get enough of the feel of Claire's soft little hand in mine. I haven't been this happy in years and my mom couldn't be more thrilled to see me acting more like myself. I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin again and I feel settled and connected to the world again.

On that day when Claire said she wanted to make it up to me I panicked. I didn't want that to be the reason she spent time with me. I've been around a lot of imprints over the years and at some point most of them struggle to accept that their guy loves them, not because he is forced to by magic, but for being who they are. Similarly, I don't want Claire to stay in my life because she feels guilty. I want her to stay because it's what she wants. And I may be a fool but one day I want her to love me like I love her, not just because it's expected. But for now I'm more than content with what we have because I can feel that it is genuine and true.

Things are going slow between Claire and I right now which is fine. We don't always talk about important things, but we talk and we are comfortable around each other which is still huge to me considering all that we lost over the last few years. I avoid talking about that dark time as much as possible, which is difficult sometimes because Claire has questions. I know she still feels bad for what I did to myself but it wasn't her fault. I wasn't exactly in my right mind all the time.

Claire doesn't like to talk about her old 'friends' in Makah much. I use the term friend loosely since she wasn't very close to them and they caused so much of her fear and pain regarding me. But Andrea has been good to her so far, for which I am grateful. I get the impression that Claire has not felt this comfortable in a long time. So I am patient and wait to see her after she spends time with friends. I am very careful how I act around Claire when I see her with Andrea because she is still sensitive about what they will think and she wants to avoid a repeat of what happened to her before.

Another topic we avoid is the end of the summer when she will leave. I know she has to go home and she is afraid of what waits for her there. She has told me how she only has one real friend she cares about and she is nervous to see Kevin at school. I've been thinking that I can be very careful when I come to visit and make sure people don't see me so she won't have to deal with the backlash. It may be hard, but I'll do it. She's mentioned coming here on weekends but she won't be able to drive for a few more months and even then she can't take the car. I've been watching for an inexpensive fixer upper at the lots because I can do most of the work myself but I've had no luck so far. We will figure it out.

But now we are a week into August and Claire will have to leave soon. I just got off work and I'm going to Sam's to see Claire for a while. Emily has been great about everything and often lets me stay for dinner so I can have more time with her. Consequently, I've started slipping Sam some extra money to cover all the extra food she makes for me. He fought me at first but he has a young family to care for and I've only got myself to watch out for at home so I finally convinced him to accept it.

I noticed a different car in front of Sam's before I let myself in the front door. I saw Sally in the kitchen talking to Emily and I can't help but feel nervous. I'm not ready for her to take Claire home yet. I thought I had two more weeks. Sally looked up at me and smiled, coming straight to me and hugging me.

"Hi Quil. It's good to see you." she greeted me warmly.

"Hey. How are you?" I tried to sound normal.

"I'm good. I had a day off and thought I would come see Claire. She's up in her room and could probably use some help." She released me with a smile and I hurried up to Claire's room.

I knocked on the open door and she looked up from an open box on her bed. "Quil!" she came to me, gave me a quick hug and pulled me into her room. "I'm glad you are here. Will you help me unpack these?" she pointed to the three boxes lined up on her bed.

"What's this?" I asked.

"I think those go on my desk." She pointed to the box furthest from her. "Just pull everything out and I can organize it in a minute. She turned back to the open box and pulled out several folded sweaters and took them to her dresser.

Did Sally really bring her some winter things? Could she be staying? I didn't dare to ask the question yet but I felt like jumping around and celebrating when I opened the box to see her school bag and other supplies and books from home. Yes!

I noticed that Claire was watching me out of the corner of her eye with a slight smirk on her lips. I decided to play along.

"So what's all this for Claire?"

"It's just some stuff I asked mom to bring me. It might come in handy soon." She tried to sound casual but failed. I could hear the giggle in her voice as she smugly watched me pull several books out of the box in front of me.

"This is a lot of reading for only a few weeks." I said. I needed to hear her say it. I needed her to tell me she was staying, because I knew what that meant. She would be staying because of me – because she wasn't afraid and she still wanted to spend time with me. It wouldn't matter what excuse or reason she gave me, herself, or anyone else. I knew what it would really mean.

"I guess I better get started then. As soon as these boxes are empty I'm kicking you out." She teased.

"Claire." I complained.

She couldn't contain her grin and she actually started giggling. "Come here." She pulled me over to the other side of her room and we sat on the virtually non-existent empty edge of her bed. "So I had an idea and then I talked to my parents and Sam and Emily are okay with it, so . . . I'm going to stay here until I graduate from high school." The words tumbled out of her in a rush and then she actually squealed. "Isn't that great?"

If the guys wouldn't have teased me to death I might have squealed along with her. I stopped myself though and gave her a huge smile as I felt myself breathe easier.

"That's the best news I've ever heard." I told her honestly.

"Good. Because if you didn't want me to stay then I wouldn't." she said, calming slightly.

"Why wouldn't I want you to stay?" I asked, and then I scowled at her as the answer came to me. "Claire. You have to stop thinking that I would be happier without you – I've already proven that completely wrong. I love being around you and I'm glad you are going to be close. It'll save me whole bunch of running to Makah and I might actually gain some weight."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll get so fat just because I'm in your own town." She rolled her eyes.

"Hey, it could happen. There hasn't been a fat wolf yet, but they broke the mold when they made me." I grinned at her.

She scoffed and stood up, going back to her boxes. "I want to finish this really fast and then go spend a little more time with mom before she goes."

"Okay." I went back to work with her and in less than five minutes we had everything put away and went out to the kitchen to see Sally. She ended up staying for dinner and insisted on helping clear the table. Once the kids were busy washing everything Sally got my attention and pulled me aside.

"We haven't really spoken about everything that happened." She began and I saw the sorrow in her eyes. "If I had known what she was doing . . ."

"Sally, its okay." I stopped her. "Things are good now. Thanks for letting her stay here. I know you'll miss her."

"Well, she wasn't exactly thrilled about coming home and going back to her old school anyway, and I haven't seen her this happy in years, so it's the best thing for everyone. This way she can start fresh with her new friends and she can be here with you."

"You know we'll take good care of her."

Sally lowered her voice. "Yes I do. Speaking of which, how are you feeling about her?"

I matched her tone. "I've always loved Claire. Her wants and needs are the most important thing to me. That will never change."

She nodded. "I know, but what about you? After all this time, all you've been through, you deserve to be happy too."

"I am happy." I smiled at her to reinforce the truth in my words. But I wasn't about to tell her how deep my feelings for her daughter truly ran. Or how gorgeous I thought Claire was. Or how I want to kiss her and spend hours touching her soft skin. Or. . .

Sally returned my smile and then turned her attention to her daughter in the kitchen. She made the rounds, saying goodbye to everyone and Claire walked with her out to the car.

Claire came back inside a few minutes later looking just a little sad. She came straight to me and grabbed my hand.

"Are you okay honey?" I asked.

"I just miss my family, you know?"

"I know." I squeezed her hand and led her over to the couch. I knew just what would cheer her up. I had her sit down and I put Serendipity in the DVD player then joined her on the couch. Sam and Emily joined us once all the kids were in bed and the four of us quietly enjoyed one of Claire's favorite movies.

. . .

Claire POV

It was so much fun to surprise Quil with the news that I am staying here for the next three years. His smile when I told him was exactly what I'd hoped for. I was glad I could make him happy for once. He may think I made the decision just for him, but that's not entirely true. Of course I wanted to find a way to spend more time around him anyway, but I was absolutely freaked out at the idea of going back to school and being around the kids I grew up with, so going to a new school was an extra little bonus for me.

Since Kevin's disastrous visit I've talked to Beth on the phone a few times. It took me an hour to convince her that Quil is my good friend and that he would never do the things people accused him of. I swore to her that my aunt and uncle would never let someone treat me that way either, and after the way Sam scared them all she believed me. But she told me that Kevin was a nightmare to be around for the next week after they came and he's just waiting for me to come back. If I didn't have any other reasons to run screaming from my old school, Kevin alone could provide a whole bus load. So really, it's just a win/win as far as I'm concerned. Now I can stay in La Push where I can be around Quil and not have headaches, and Quil can get his life back together now that he doesn't think his imprint rejected him.

That still breaks my heart. I hate knowing what I did to him and when I have nightmares they usually involve a dead chocolate brown wolf. I don't want to tell him that though since he already worries about me way too much. But I'm not complaining because he takes such good care of me too. Like when I had to say goodbye to mom after that visit. It hit me harder than I thought it would, even though I know I'll still see my family and go and visit some weekends. And at 15 I'm all about getting some independence, but my parents are being so great about everything and so supportive and I don't know how to thank them. So when I went back inside Quil knew just what to do. He put in one of my favorite movies and he just sat with me and held my hand all night.

Emily and Sam were right about the touch thing. I mean, just being in the same room as Quil has a calming, peaceful effect on me in general and my headaches are pretty much just a memory now, but touch does even more. So we often end up holding hands when we are together because one or the other of us needs it, and sometimes just because it is becoming habit. A really good habit too. It's just too cool that this amazing, handsome guy pays attention to me at all, and on top of that I get to hold his hand almost every day. I can deal with that.

So I'm going to start at my new school in a few days and the summer is almost over. I've really enjoyed being here again, spending time with my cousins and getting to know the pack again. They feel like extended family and they've been very forgiving and accepting of me. That means so much to me.

And I also have new friends! Andrea has been so nice to me and it's really different that my other friendships I've had before. She knows that I am really close with my family and she doesn't tease me about it. Quil has been careful to give me plenty of time with friends away from him so no one can spread lies again, but I don't think that would happen here anyway. It probably helps that I'm older too so people don't think I'm so helpless. But even with all the good times with Andrea I still look forward to seeing Quil at the end of the day. Pathetic, right? I don't ever get tired of seeing him though.

I have a plan now too. I know that Quil sees himself as my protector and he will do anything to make me happy, but I'm afraid he only sees me as a little kid still. I want to change that but I know that I have to be patient too since I am way younger than him. But maybe by the end of high school I can prove to him that I can be mature. He told me that he doesn't expect anything to happen between us like the rest of the imprints, so is it wrong that I want him as more than a friend? We can't right now, but he's the only guy I've ever been interested in dating. That has to mean something right? I just hope he will be able to see me that way someday too.

. . .

Christmas break starts today! I survived my first semester in my new school and it was probably the most I've enjoyed school in years. The classes and my teachers are fine, they aren't much different for me, but I actually have good friends. Maybe for the first time ever. It's such a relief to not have to watch every little thing I say around them and worry about what they will say behind my back. They all know Quil is a good friend of the Uleys, so when I talk about him or the other guys in the pack no one freaks out that they are so much older than me. It turns out Sam and his old 'gang' are pretty well known around here so no one even comments, just like it's expected for me to know and hang out with these people. What a relief!

As much as I like my friends, I am most excited because Quil and I can hang out a lot more during my break since he won't have to wait until my homework is done to be around me. He is taking some time off work on top of the time he will get off because of the holiday anyway so we can have some fun. I am so excited!

I hurried home after promising to see Andrea at Cory's party in a few days. I walked in the door, waved to Emily in passing and dumped my backpack in my room. My English teacher gave us an assignment to do over the break. Seriously! But I could handle that later. Right now I had a certain tall, dark and handsome man to find. I went back out to the main room to ask Emily.

"Has Quil called today?" I asked as I joined her in the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and got some water to drink.

"Hello to you too." She teased me with a grin. "I haven't heard from him yet. He may still be at work."

I shook my head. "No, he said he was getting off early. I'll call him."

"Will you two be here for dinner tonight?" Emily asked.

"I don't know what we're going to do. I just know I want to get plenty of Quil-time while I'm out of school." I answered quickly, before really thinking.

"Quil time, huh? Don't you see him every day?" Emily poked me in the ribs.

"Yeah, well, sometimes it's pretty short, especially if I have lots of homework. I don't have whole days with him very much and we need to plan my break so we have a couple of those." I said.

"I know Quil can be funny sometimes, but is there any other reason you are so eager to spend time with him?" Emily asked with a knowing look.

"I'm his imprint. I don't need a reason." I said and stuck my tongue out at her. Childish, I know, but I can joke that way with Emily. Now that I know everything I realize that she, Sam and the rest of the pack used to be pretty careful around me so they wouldn't give anything away. But now things are different; more relaxed somehow, and I can talk more easily with Emily, Kim and the other women too.

Emily just laughed at me like I knew she would. "Alright then, go find your wolf."

"Are you talking about me again?" a deep voice said from the doorway and I spun around to see Quil leaning casually against the doorjamb. Why did he have to look so hot doing nothing at all?

"Quil!" I practically ran across the room to him and he opened his arms to give me a quick hug.

"Hi honey. What's going on?" he asked after leaving a quick kiss on the top of my head.

"We have to figure out what we are doing while I'm off. I don't want to waste any time." I told him as we walked back into the kitchen and I took another drink.

"Remind me when you are going home." He said and he didn't hide how he didn't like the idea of me leaving.

"I'll only be gone the 24th and 25th. I'll make dad drive me back early on the 26th, I promise. Then we will have until after the New Year." I said.

"I can't believe your parents are making you go home for a little thing like Christmas." He complained.

"Can you blame them? We get her the rest of the year now." Emily reminded him.

"Yeah, but they are just family. It's not like they are someone important: like me." Quil said and gave me his best 100 watt smile.

"You know I'll miss you too." I told him and his smile only seemed to grow.

"We better figure out what to do when you are here then. Are you up for the usual, traditional holiday activities or do I have to be creative?" Quil asked.

"I'm up for anything." I challenged him and was rewarded with a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"You better mean it when you say something like that." He warned me with a wink.

I couldn't help but think that any girl he set his sights on wouldn't stand a chance once he unleashed his charms on her. Then I couldn't help but wish it would be me.

Quil took the slice of freshly baked bread Emily offered him and ate it in a few bites. Then he settled in to watch me spread some raspberry jam on mine and then eat. I stared right back at him and we traded smiles as I wondered what he was thinking when he watched me like that.

"If I'm going to plan properly," he said, "then I need to know if there are any family things or other plans when I can't have you other than when you go home."

"Um. . ." the words he used muddled my brain for moment before I could answer. "I guess there's a big New Year's Eve party here, but Sam said you usually come to that too, and uh, I have to go to a party with people from school at Cory's on the 27th."

"Cory?" Quil asked and Emily waited for the answer as well.

"Yeah, he invited us all today. He wanted to have it on New Year's but his parents are throwing a big party so he's doing it right between Christmas and New Years." I said.

"Who is Cory?" Quil asked.

"He lives down the street from Andrea and he sits with us at lunch. He's just one of my school friends." I told them. Did I dare hope that I detected some jealousy in his tone?

"You know Cory's dad, Quil. He works with Charlie at the station in Forks." Emily said.

"Oh, yeah. I didn't realize he was your age." Quil recovered quickly. "Alright Emily, do I have any more restrictions?"

"What?" she looked confused.

"Any other times you plan on keeping Claire too busy to play with me?" he asked, still looking slightly unhappy about my party plans.

"I don't think there is anything else so you can stop pouting now." Emily teased him. Quil looked a little embarrassed and then turned back to me.

"What about homework?" he asked.

"I just have to write a little paper for English."

Quil grabbed my hand and started leading me back toward my room. "Come on, let's go get it done now so there are no more excuses."

. . .

I finished the paper quickly that night with Quil's help. The next day we went snowshoeing and built a snowman and snow wolf for Quil. When we got home we made hot cocoa and put in a movie so we could curl up on the couch and he warmed me up before I had to pack a small bag to go home for two days. Quil came the next morning to 'get a goodbye hug' to last him the whole time I was gone. I lightly teased him along with Sam and Alex, trying my best not to show how glad I was that he came.

Mom drove me home and it was nice and slightly surreal to be there again. My room hasn't changed or anything but it didn't feel as much like home as Emily's house does now. It was also really nice to spend some time with Alyssa and Devon again: being away from them really made me appreciate my siblings more. Christmas Eve and Day were fun and I was happy to see that everyone liked the gifts I found even though I was on a very tight budget set by my parents. I had to get creative while searching for gifts and while it was challenging it was also kind of fun. Quil was also very helpful with the shopping and it was fun to spend that time with him too. I felt bad that my whole two days home I had a slight nagging ache in my head and chest. I wasn't about to tell anyone about that though since they've waited so long for me to come for a visit. It's just hard to find a good reason to leave La Push on the weekends when I have the most time to spend with Quil. It's scary how my life revolves around him.

Dad and I had a good chat while he drove me back the day after Christmas. He and I don't get to talk on the phone as much as mom and I do so we got caught up on each other's lives. It was really nice. And I was relieved when dad just laughed at the sight of Quil waiting for us on Sam's front steps. The moment the car stopped he opened my door and pulled me up into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting my feet off the ground. I heard him breathe in deep and slow as he buried his face in my hair and I felt his shoulders relax. I felt better too as his warmth enfolded me. This is where I belong.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: So I had a problem posting chapters which added to the delay. It would download but not let me post them to the story. Weird. All reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated.**

**I still don't own any wolves. double sigh.**

Quil POV

The two days Claire was gone for Christmas were torturous. It was the first time since she learned the truth that I couldn't see her every day and I really didn't handle it well. I kept panicking and worrying that she wouldn't come back or something would happen to her and I wouldn't be there. I had nightmares along those lines each time I tried to sleep. It took all my focus and energy to pay attention to my family on Christmas and I would have felt guilty if they didn't all understand. So my mother happily shooed me out of the house when it was time for Claire to come back.

I got to Sam's early and said hi to him and his family. I figured it was better that they knew I was there. I couldn't stay inside though because I felt like a caged animal. I left after pacing the kitchen ten times. So I sat on the front steps and after a half hour I was thrilled when I saw Mark's car coming down the road. I almost jumped out of my skin waiting for the blasted car to stop though. I never made the conscious decision to move but found myself practically pulling Claire out of the car and I couldn't get her in my arms fast enough. I breathed in her scent and reveled in it, getting a slight high from having her near me again. She sighed and relaxed in my arms as I held her close.

"Hi." She murmured quietly into my shoulder.

"Welcome home." I whispered back.

I could have stayed in that spot happily for a long time but Mark tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw him watching us with the slightly sad smile of a father who knows his daughter is growing up. I slowly lowered her back to the ground but held onto her when her knees buckled at first. She got her footing and I moved beside her, keeping an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey Quil. Did you have a good Christmas?" Mark asked.

"It was okay; you know, all the usual family stuff." I said. "How was yours?"

"It was good to have the whole family there. But as promised, I've brought Claire back early." Mark said with a smile aimed at Claire. "She started getting antsy last night and Sally and I knew we couldn't get her to stay any longer."

"Dad." Claire's head dropped a little in embarrassment so I squeezed her slightly.

"I was anxious to see her too. I have big plans for the rest of the week."

"What kind of plans?" Mark asked and Claire looked up at me curiously.

"Top secret ones. I've got a few surprises up my sleeve." I answered proudly.

Mark just chuckled and we went inside. Alex was busy playing a new video game with Tyler. The twins were playing with Jared's daughter Tasha, all enjoying their new Christmas toys. Sam was at the kitchen table reading a book and Emily was moving between them all snapping photos on her new digital camera. Sam was excited to get it for her and he was totally right: Emily looked more than happy with the gift. She paused after taking a shot of us walking in the door and she smiled widely.

"Hello there! Come in, come in. Can I get you anything? Are you hungry or thirsty? How was your Christmas?" Emily asked as she pulled Mark and then Claire into tight hugs. I just laughed. You had to love Emily.

I let Claire leave my side to go say hi to her cousins but I couldn't help watching her move around the room and greet her cousins while I sat at the table with the rest of the adults.

"Quil." A firm voice next to me brought my attention back.

"Huh?" I turned to my right to look at Mark, who had spoken.

"Could you stop staring at my daughter for a minute?" his voice was just a little too hard to be joking.

"Sorry. Yeah. I just missed her." I looked down at my hands on the table, consciously avoiding looking up because I knew my eyes would seek her out first.

"Do you and I need to have a talk about Claire?" Mark asked with raised eyebrows, referring to an agreement we made shortly after I imprinted on Claire that I would talk to him before I made a move on Claire.

"No." I grumbled. "It's not like that yet. I was just jumpy having her go away, after what happened before. . ." I trailed off.

"He's been on his best behavior. I can vouch for him." Sam came to my defense.

"Just checking. I miss her too you know. I thought I would have at least until the end of high school before she moved out of the house. I just lost a few years." Mark said.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I'm so glad to have her back in my life, I forget what she left behind sometimes."

"Alright boys: enough moping." Emily chimed in. "You both love Claire and its hard to share. We all understand each other. The good news, however, is that _she_ is doing really well. Claire has good friends, is doing well in school, is headache free, and even gets along with my kids. Be happy for her and compare sob stories later."

Sam chuckled and smiled warmly at Emily. "As always, my wife is right. Now tell us about Sally and the kids." he prodded Mark. While he answered I was able to return my attention to Claire who gave me a brilliant smile from across the room when she caught me looking at her.

. . .

The next day I took Claire sledding in the morning and then we went back to the Uley's for a hot lunch. We still had some time that afternoon so we joined the twins in watching a princess movie for a while. I honestly didn't care what we watched since Claire immediately curled up next to me and complained of being cold. I was more than happy to put my arm around her and hold her close to warm her up for an hour and a half.

When the movie ended she told me she needed to shower and get ready for the party at her friend's house. I tried to behave, honestly I did, but I ended up whining a little and Claire promised that I could have her all day tomorrow. I'm not proud of my behavior, but what can I say? I was jealous of the kids she would be hanging out with instead of being with me. I know; I'm a greedy jerk. I'm okay with that.

I'm also a glutton for punishment and I waited around until she came downstairs when she was ready to go. Man, did she look good! I kept repeating to myself that she's only fifteen and still too young, but she sure is growing up nicely. Instead of her usual t-shirt and jeans, she had on a knee length skirt and a soft looking deep purple top that fit her curves nicely.

Don't think about her curves!

You know how when you try really hard not to think about a grey elephant, that suddenly it's the only thing you can think about? Yeah. That's how well I did trying not to appreciate my gorgeous imprint's body.

Luckily, Sam was there for me and he didn't freak out about me looking at his neice that way. Instead he understood, like a good brother, and distracted me right after Claire gave me a hug goodbye. Sam is my new hero. He didn't even make a deal about me staying over all night to wait for Claire to come home. He just told me about some good fishing spots Billy told him about until Embry randomly showed up. Or so I thought. My alpha is a smart man though, and he had been paying attention to exactly what night it was and he came without being asked to help me survive what will probably be the first of many hard nights while Claire has a social life for the next few years in high school. Ugh. I am so dreading this.

But thanks to my friends I almost didn't feel the time pass and suddenly, happily, Claire was walking in the door at 11:00 right on time for her curfew. She closed the door behind her and stifled a yawn as she registered that we were all there.

"What's this: a boy's night in?" she asked, nodding toward Embry and I.

"Yeah. Male bonding and all that." Sam said with a wry smile. "Emily and the kids are in bed so do me a favor and be quiet."

"Sure." She said and sat down next to me. I had been staring at her since she walked in and she gave me a sleepy smile now.

"How was the party?" I asked.

"It was fun. I think it was the best time I've had at a party with kids my age. Nothing compares to a Pack get together though." She joked and then yawned again.

"I'm glad it was good, but you should probably get to bed. You look tired." I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. It's an old habit but I'm finding it has its perks: I get to be close to Claire for a moment without any questions or controversy.

"Okay. See you tomorrow?" she asked, watching me hopefully.

"You couldn't keep me away." I said and she shuffled off, content with my promise.

Once she was out of earshot Embry gave out a low whistle. "You are so whipped!" He teased. "I think you have it worse than any of the rest of the guys in the pack and she's still so young. Just wait till she figures out the power she has and starts using it for her own purposes. Women are tricky man and she's only a girl."

"Yeah. But I will happily be her slave for life." I said, still watching the last spot I could see her.

Sam kicked me sharply under the table while Embry covered his mouth and struggled to hold back his laughter.

"Ow! I didn't even mean it like that! You know how it is – tell me you wouldn't do anything Emily asked you to. Anyone who's ever imprinted is a willing slave."

Sam's shoulders dropped and then he nodded grudgingly. "Fine, but you don't have to give in so easily all the time."

"Hey, I'm still just grateful she'll let me in her presence. I've been without, man, so maybe I just appreciate her more." I retorted.

"Okay, put away your measuring sticks, boys. If all you're going to do is talk about imprint stuff the rest of the night, then I am gone." Embry scooted his chair back from the table and stood up, stretching to his full height.

"Nah, I need to get home." I said, standing as well. "I need my beauty rest."

"Too late." Sam said.

Embry and I laughed as we headed for the door. I thanked Sam for letting me stay and Embry offered to drop me home on his way.

. . .

I showed up the next morning at 11am to find most of the family in the kitchen and front room as usual. Claire was on the couch hanging out with Alex and when she saw me she let out a little squeak and started messing with her hair a little to straighten it in its messy morning ponytail. She's so cute in the morning.

I greeted everyone and slumped down on the couch next to Claire. "Good morning, beautiful." I said and her cheeks pinked a little.

"Hi Quil." She said shyly.

"Did you sleep well? You looked pretty beat last night." I asked.

"Yeah. I was really tired. I don't remember if I brushed my teeth or not so I brushed extra long this morning."

"You brushed before breakfast?"Alex asked in surprise. "But then it makes the orange juice taste bad."

"But we've been out here since breakfast. . . so you haven't brushed yet?" Claire asked in shock.

"Nope." Alex popped the p in his answer and then leaned over to breathe on Claire. She shrunk into my side to escape, hiding her face against my arm.

"Boys are so gross!" she complained.

Alex just laughed. "Then why do you get all dressed up to see them at school and parties?"

"That's different. You wouldn't understand why high school boys are more interesting than you." Claire retorted.

"I hate to break it to you honey, but they don't change that much." I said with a chuckle. They really treated each other like siblings which made me happy because it meant that she really is comfortable here and hopefully won't have a reason to leave until she graduates.

"Ewww. So you do stuff like that too?" Claire sat up and looked at me.

"Naw. I liked girls when I was Alex's age and I learned early on that they like fresh breath so I always brushed. But yeah, guys are usually gross in general, at least, according to girls we are." I said. Alex gave me a fist bump.

Claire shook her head and I heard Emily laugh softly from the kitchen table where she was paying bills.

"Well you don't seem as gross as him." Claire mumbled to me as Alex resumed him video game. I smiled. I wasn't gross.

I ended up waiting while Claire showered and got ready for the day. I played with Alex and helped him tease the twins a little when they came through with their dolls. Because Embry wasn't around Tyler attached himself to me since he seemed to look up to the pack in general. I didn't mind though: he's a good kid. So I kept myself busy for a while until Claire finally came back.

She certainly wasn't making my life any easier either since she looked so cute and was even wearing her hair down which is my favorite. Not that I mind the braid she usually puts her hair in or anything, but seeing her shiny black hair loose and running down her back was definitely one of my favorite sights. We got in my car and talked easily while I drove us to Port Angeles. She told me all about the party last night and I was happy to learn that I had nothing to worry about since she spent most of her time with girls and spoke about the boys almost like brothers.

When we got to the city we had a quick lunch and then went ice skating at an outdoor rink. It was fun even though we fell several times and neither of us will be professional skaters any time soon. Afterward we wandered through town window shopping and I asked Claire what she wants for her birthday next month. She made a face and told me anything would be fine. I asked about her reaction and she said she doesn't like birthday parties. It took a while but she finally explained how they all went bad for the last few years and I felt terrible. She had wanted me to come back. I didn't know it and of course I never did because she told me to stay away, but I felt bad all the same.

I told her this year could break the cycle and she asked me not to throw her a party. I promised I wouldn't, but I never said anything about Emily throwing her one. I happen to know that a plan is already being worked on so she will just have to accept it when the big day comes along.

It is so nice to spend some real alone time with Claire. It's effortless and we walked around for hours just talking and enjoying being together. Nothing could be easier or as comfortable as I am with Claire. I couldn't stop smiling. Even when we stopped for dinner, I just kept grinning like an idiot and when she asked if I was up to something I just told her the truth: I'm happy. She makes me happy.

I didn't want to end such a good day, but I knew I would have two very angry sets of parents after me if I didn't get Claire home by a decent time, so we drove home with enough time to get her home around 10pm. The only good part about that was that she looked just as disappointed to go back as I felt. That eased the sting a little anyway. And somehow we still found things to talk about during the whole drive home. It amazes me how I can spend so much time with this girl and we never run out of things to say to each other. I mean, sure, there are quiet moments, but they aren't awkward silences. And ever after days like today when we were together for a long time I was still planning what we could do tomorrow even while I dropped her off.

I'm constantly amazed by how much I can feel for this girl.

. . .

Claire POV

This Christmas break has been so much fun! I felt a little guilty coming back from my parent's house so quickly after Christmas but Quil made me forget all about that because we have had so much fun. We've been sledding and ice skating and we even baked some cookies together to get ready for the New Year's party Sam and Emily throw each year. We got into a little bit of a food fight and there was so much flour in Quil's hair that he looked like he was going gray. It was hilarious. He actually went outside to shake it out! Of course we had to clean up the mess afterward but I didn't even mind because I had so much fun with Quil.

The New Year's party was pretty fun. I played video games with the kids for a while and also played some poker with the guys. I spent a little time chatting with the other imprints and really had fun except that midnight itself was a little awkward. Everyone paired up except the kids and that left me and Quil standing in the middle of it all not quite sure what to do. I mean, we're not like the other imprinted couples but there's this incredible connection between us that's a little more than friendship. So after the usual countdown to the New Year we kind of stared at each other for a second while everyone else was kissing or yelling and for a split second I thought he might kiss me. Instead he pulled me into a tight hug and whispered that I'm everything to him. Even through my slight disappointment at not being able to erase Kevin's kiss with something infinitely better, my heart raced because I knew he meant every word. And I knew I felt the same, so for right now that is enough.

Then after the normal celebration the guys ran outside for their tradition: a snowball fight. All the pack members, retired and active, ran around like crazy men throwing anything they could get their hands on. I watched with the rest of the women and children and just laughed at the guys, but they seemed to have fun. When they finished everyone said goodnight and kids were bundled into cars to go home.

Quil came over to me and gave me a very cold and soggy hug. I was already chilly from standing out in the winter night air to watch them play but then his hug left me freezing from all the snow melted on his clothes. Quil saw me shiver violently as he followed the Uleys and I back in the house and he started apologizing profusely. He went a grabbed a dry change of clothes out of his car – he says he always keeps a set around just in case he has to phase unexpectedly. Once he was dry and warm and I changed into my warmest pajamas he pulled me to the couch, sat me down sideways across his lap so my right shoulder was crushed to his chest and he wrapped his warm arms around me. I curled up and sank into his heat, resting my head against his shoulder and staring at the darkened window directly in front of me.

He hummed old tribal songs to me with his deep voice and soon I was nodding off, safe and warm in his arms. I fought sleep because I didn't want such a perfect moment to end but I think I did fall asleep. The next thing I knew I was moving and I woke up just enough to realize that Quil was carrying me into my room and laying me down in bed. He pulled my blankets up around me and may have actually tucked me in. I was too busy watching his face, calm and patient and loving, as he took care of me. He left a burning kiss on my cheek, not my forehead like usual, and then silently left my room, pulling the door closed behind him. I sighed and fell back asleep.

. . .

School started again which was kind of bittersweet. It was nice to see all my friends again, but I missed having full days to spend with Quil.

And before I knew it my birthday was here. True to his word Quil didn't plan a party for me, but he didn't stop Emily from planning one which I thought had been implied. Oh well. It wasn't so bad. Emily called Andrea and had her invite our friends and the night of my birthday everyone showed up right after dinner. And I mean everyone. My family arrived first, followed by my friends and finally the pack. The house was beyond full, but it was actually the best party I've had in years so I quickly forgave Quil.

Plus, he gave me a car. Kind of. It's a fixer upper that he's in the process of repairing for me, but it's better than nothing which is what I would have had without him. And he promised to teach me how to drive. Yay – more Quil time!

The weirdest part of the party was watching Andrea and the girls drool over Quil and the guys who are active in the pack right now. Cory and the other boys from school seemed a little intimidated by them at first but soon Todd and Brady were joking around with them and a potential crisis was averted.

I was nervous at first to have everyone together in the same place like that because of what happened with Quil on the Makah Res, but it turned out I had nothing to worry about here. It seems that most everyone in La Push is aware of the pack but has no idea what they do other than the vague description of 'helping the tribal council' and being a sort of local law enforcement. If only people knew what their uniforms looked like! But Andrea and the gang figured out really quickly that they are just regular guys and nothing to be afraid of. That made me breathe much easier. And I couldn't help but laugh along with Quil while Jaime flirted shamelessly with Todd who didn't seem to mind her attention at all. She has no idea he's ten years older than she is.

So for once I had a good birthday. And even though I'm still in driver's ed classes and don't have my permit yet, Quil has taken me out in his car on some dirt roads to practice driving a little. He's actually pretty patient and doesn't freak out over every little thing and I'm learning fast. Plus, when we go out to practice on Saturdays he brings a picnic lunch and we have more time to just hang out.

There are some quiet moments when we are together sometimes that I catch him watching me and I wish I knew what he was thinking. His expression doesn't give anything away but sometimes I can see longing or sadness in his eyes for just a moment. Its times like that I feel an overwhelming need to make sure he is happy, only I don't know how to do that exactly. If I ask or offer to do something for him he just tells me he is fine and more than happy just to spend time with me. But I know there's something missing for him. I sometimes wonder if he wants more out of our relationship but I don't know how to tell him I want that too. Because what if I said that and I was totally wrong? Then he would feel bad for not being able to give me what I want and that would defeat the whole point of trying to make him happy.

Ugh. I'm so confused.

. . .

Quil finished my car two weeks before I finished driver's ed and school got out for summer. The day after classes ended my dad came and took me for my driving test. I passed and got my license! We celebrated by going out to dinner and then he took me home that weekend to spend some time with my own family. I've been trying to make sure I go back once or twice each month ever since Christmas.

Alyssa and I went shopping together and I got some new clothes. She will graduate from high school next week and then will go to the University of Washington in the fall. I need to spend time with her this summer while I can before she moves away too. Its funny, she and I actually get along better now that we don't live together. Not that we fought all that much, but I wasn't the easiest to live with the last few years. She has noticed that I'm much happier and told me to say hi to Quil and our aunt and uncle for her. she promised to come visit in La Push sometime this summer. I'm looking forward to it.

As usual, Quil was waiting at Sam's when I got home Sunday night. We had an agreement that I would always tells him exactly when I would be gone and for how long. He still gets nervous to have me away from La Push and Emily explained that this would help him deal with my absences better. And since he knew when I was coming home he was always waiting. This time I surprised him though because Mom let me drive and she rode in the passenger seat. She was nervous but gave me pointers when necessary and it wasn't too bad.

When Quil saw me in the driver's seat his face split in a big smile. He came around to my door, opened it and hugged me when I got out.

"Look at you: all grown up and driving!" He said as he pulled back and held me at arms length.

And like that my good mood was gone. He was talking to me like a child who just learned to ride the bike or something.

"I'm not a kid anymore, in case you haven't noticed." I snapped and roughly grabbed my duffle from the back seat before storming into the house. I blindly waved off Emily and Tyler as they came up to say hi and went straight to my room. It was rude but I didn't care. I was upset and I didn't want to deal with them right now.

Geez, could Quil really be _that_ blind? I mean, I may not be supermodel material, but I'm not exactly hideous either. I've been filling out the last few years and he had to have noticed that I'm turning into a woman, right? I was wearing a cute new top Alyssa found for me and my hair was down, which I know guys like, and I was _driving_.

I flopped down on my bed and thought back to the holiday break and all the time we had spent together. And then I realized how childish a lot of it was: sledding, building a snowman, baking cookies. Maybe_ I_ was blind and he wasn't treating me any differently than he used to. No wonder he still thought of me as a kid since we were doing all the same stuff we did when I was little. But it had felt so different this time. All the outdoor activities led to cuddling on the couch to warm me up. The food fight – and here I thought I was flirting. I must look so stupid to him.

I groaned out loud and then heard a soft knocking on my door.

I groaned again.

"Honey, what happened?" my mom's quiet voice came through the door.

Crap. She would be leaving in a little while too. I couldn't just stay in here and ignore her. So I got up and opened the door, letting her in and closing it tight again.

I sat on the edge of my bed and she pulled out the chair at my desk.

"What just happened, Claire? You seemed so happy and then we got here. If you aren't happy here. . ."

"No, it's not that mom. Sorry. I just, I just got so mad there for a second. I thought I better come up here before I said something rude to Quil." I told her.

"Yeah, he looked a little shocked when you went straight from hugging him to running off mad. But I still don't understand what upset you so much." Mom said.

"Ugh. I don't know mom." I flopped backward on my bed and covered my eyes with my arm. I felt mom's hand rest softly on my knee.

"I think I have an idea. You like him don't you?" she said knowingly.

I sat up quickly. "Shh. Don't say things like that, he'll hear you!" I hissed.

"He's not here honey. I suggested he go home until you cool off." Mom told me.

I glanced at the window. "But he could still be out there."

"Sam warned him not to stay around. He said to give you a little space and Quil promised to go to his house."

"Thanks." I said, feeling relieved.

"So?" mom prompted me with another soft squeeze to my knee.

"He sees me as a kid still and I'm not." I said.

"And you want him to treat you like a grown up?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't want him to talk down to me, you know?"

"I don't think he meant it that way." Mom defended him.

"I know. I know he's proud of me and everything and I'm just overreacting." I mumbled.

"I didn't say that. This time in your life can be really confusing sweetheart and I just want to help you through it any way I can. Don't be afraid to talk to me about things, even if you think they are embarrassing, okay? They might not be as bad as you think. They may even be normal but nobody talks about them so it seems like they aren't."

"Yeah, I'm sure every sixteen year old wants to date their 30 year old best friend who has a supernatural connection to them." The words slipped out without my permission and I instantly wanted them back as I felt my cheeks flame red.

Mom just nodded. "I thought that might be it. Okay, so that's not a problem most girls your age face, but the basics are normal. You like someone and you don't know what to do about it, right?"

I just nodded, too afraid to open my mouth again.

"Well, the good news is that Quil cares about you a great deal."

"But I don't want him to just care about me, I want him to _like_ me. I want him to call me pretty and ask me out like Danny did."

"Who is Danny?"

"A boy at school. He's really nice and cute and he asked me out a week before school got out. I told him I wasn't ready yet, because its not really fair to go out with him when I'd rather be with someone else."

"You told him there was someone else?" mom clarified.

"No. I lied and told him I couldn't date until my junior year. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I can't tell him the truth. That would cause all sorts of problems like the ones I left back home. Even if I could somehow get Quil to date me, I'm still too young and he would get in trouble. So thats never gonna happen, and he doesn't even see me that way anyway, so it's all pointless right?"

Mom took that in for a moment and thought how to answer me. I decided to spare her a little.

"So what do most girls do when they get a crush?" I asked.

"I guess they either go after him or they watch him from a distance and eventually move on." Mom said.

"We both know I can't be with Quil, so I'll have to do the other one." I said glumly.

"Claire, you don't have to decide anything right now. I know this may sound weird coming from your mom, but I'm really glad you are interested in Quil. He is a good guy and he will always treat you right. It's just not the right time for you two yet, so don't write him off."

"Yeah. it's just hard to wait, you know? And what if he doesn't ever like me that way?"

"Let's wait and see on that, okay?" Mom suggested.

I nodded and bit my lip as another thought came to me. "Mom? I know you and Quil are friends, but you won't tell him about this, will you? Or anyone else?"

"This is just between us." She reassured me.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Now will you come downstairs again until I go?"

I nodded.

"And at least call Quil tonight so he won't stress. That boy has been tortured enough."

I hesitated.

"You don't have to tell him why you were mad. Blame me for something if you need to. But don't punish him because this is a difficult situation. He does care about you, you know."

"Okay mom."

She stood up and I followed her downstairs. Emily was watching for us and she looked worried. Mom just gave her a look with a little shake of the head and Emily pasted on a smile and acted like nothing had happened. I really need to learn how to communicate wordlessly like that. It could be useful someday.

I called Quil a little while after dinner once mom left. He answered the phone after the first ring.

"Claire?" he sounded breathless and panicky.

"Yeah, it's me."

I heard him take a deep breath in relief. "Is everything okay?" he asked softly.

"I'm okay now. Sorry about earlier. I just had to work something out with mom."

"Oh. I thought you were mad at me for some reason and I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could have done wrong." Quil said.

"No, it wasn't you. I just had a problem but everything is okay. Sorry I worried you."

"Don't ever be sorry, Claire. I can't help worrying about you."

We were silent for a moment. I didn't know what to say.

"I love you Claire." Quil said quietly.

"Love you too, Quil."

It was true. I did love him. I just wished he meant it the same way I did.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: You and I both know the truth.**

Quil POV

It's funny, my place with Claire has kind of flip flopped – now I get to see her all week and she goes home for the weekends instead of me coming to visit her on weekends on the Makah res like when she was young. She is worried about spending enough time with her sister Alyssa before she heads off to college and Claire goes back every other weekend or so. And even though I miss her when she isn't here, I'm glad she is still staying close to her own family. I sometimes feel guilty for having her here, so far from them, but then I remember how things were during the separation and it just helps me behave while she is gone and I'm just so grateful to have her back again on Sunday night.

Two days after she came back to La Push with her license at the beginning of summer, I was finally able to really give her the car I fixed up for her. We spent some time together that day and I taught her about some basic car maintenance including changing a flat tire. We even practiced it in the driveway and it was so cute to see her tugging around that big old tire. But in the end I was satisfied that she will be okay should something happen and I'm not with her.

About a week into her summer break Claire told me she would be spending the day at the beach with Andrea and their school friends. Of course I encouraged her to go even though I had the day off and she told me I could come too. I am careful not to intrude on time with friends her age and I know she is still a little nervous about a repeat of the situation with the kids she grew up with so I told her I might stop by around lunch or something for a few minutes. That turned out to be a really bad idea.

Since Claire moved here about a year ago I have been aware of her physically in a whole new way. Her smell changed subtly because of changes in her body and I couldn't help but notice how she's developed. Most of the time I can keep all this in the back of my mind as I patiently wait for her to come of age so I can date her without having to worry about ending up in jail. But seeing her in a swimming suit made it more difficult than usual to keep a healthy perspective on my relationship with her.

Note to self: do not spend time at the beach with Claire for two more years.

I mean it! Don't even think about it!

I was hanging out with Embry that day and I wasn't planning on staying long anyway, but pretty much the moment I saw Claire and all of her beautiful skin I started sending telepathic signals to my friend to help me find a polite way out of there - _immediately_. Luckily, Embry was paying attention and helped me make an excuse that wasn't too lame and we left before I had no other choice than to either cover Claire with my t-shirt or wrap my arms around her and kiss her senseless.

So I barely survived that encounter. Then I had to suffer through her getting a summer job. As if it wasn't bad enough that I had to be away from her while I worked most days, but one of her 'helpful' friends had to hook her up with a part time job at the grocery store in Forks. Luckily I was able to work my schedule to match hers pretty well so we still had quite a bit of time together during the week when she wasn't busy with friends or off visiting her family.

The pack was pretty helpful in distracting me when she was gone and they even kicked my butt a few times when I needed it because I would complain about her very active social life. Claire was being a teenager and doing all the normal stuff a girl her age should do. Of course I wanted her to have that, but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous about all the time she was spending away from me. It just made the times we did have together that much more important to me. Even the stupid normal times just hanging out with her and playing a board game with her cousins on a Wednesday night were the highlight of my life.

I should probably feel pretty pathetic about stuff like that, but the truth is, I love it. I love it all because I love her and I will take every moment she will give me. As Brady enjoys reminding me all the time: I am so whipped. But I still wouldn't change a thing.

Summer brought its own brand of interesting happenings too: Tyler broke his leg, Alex came to me of all people for some advice on girls since one finally caught his eye, and during one of my occasional chats on the phone with Jake he told me that he and the Cullen clan are moving yet again. This is the fourth time in the last thirteen years. Of course, he doesn't care where he lives now that he and Nessie are married. I haven't seen the guy this happy since we were kids – before Bella Swan even thought of moving back with Charlie.

After one of Claire's visits home late in June she came home sad. Sam and his family were gone to Port Angeles that day and wouldn't be home until dark, so I was glad I was there for Claire when she got back that afternoon. At first she wouldn't tell me what was wrong, but I got her to sit in the kitchen while I made us sandwiches. After that I bribed her with the last of the Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer and even let her eat it all herself. Then she finally opened up and told me that she had seen Beth, the only one of her old 'friends' who seemed to be worth anything. Claire was sad because they've grown apart over the last year and they just didn't have anything to talk about anymore, so she has one less reason to want to spend time in Makah.

I was sorry she felt so bad about it, but to be honest, I'm glad she has one less tie to her old res. It may be selfish but I couldn't help thinking it would just make it easier to convince her to stay with me once she graduates from high school. After she told me what was wrong she started to cheer up a bit and I talked her into going for a walk before the sun set. It was a nice night and she held my hand as we walked. She was doing a lot better by the time we went home and the Uley's came home.

Claire found out that my birthday is the end of July and actually made me celebrate it for once. She even spent several hours baking with Emily and helped make my favorite cake – German chocolate. She was so proud of herself for doing most of it on her own and for me: it was the best cake I've ever tasted. Truth be told, Claire has been learning a lot about cooking and baking from Emily lately as she and Alex have been assigned to make some family dinners just so they know how. And for the record: Claire is much better at cooking than Alex.

. . .

I somehow managed to survive the summer only seeing Claire at the beach three times. Now Alyssa is off in Seattle, living on campus at the University of Washington studying Marine biology, and Claire is back in school and won't be leaving La Push nearly so often. So my biggest worry has now become the teenage boys at the tribal school.

And to my horror, I found out just how real that fear is only three weeks into the school year. I had just walked into the Uley house after work, said hi to Emily and she ushered me upstairs toward Claire's room where she was supposedly doing homework. I paused in the hallway when I heard Claire talking and soon realized she was on the phone when I heard another muffled voice.

"I'm so jealous you have three classes with him and I only have one." Claire complained.

Oh crap. Who in the world is '_him_'?

"Really? He did?" Claire sounded excited.

I groaned inwardly. I didn't want to hear this.

"Do you really think he will ask me to homecoming?" she sounded so hopeful.

And that was all I could take. I stepped into view and knocked lightly on the open door to let Claire know I was there.

She looked up in surprise and blushed, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Hey Andrea, I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" she said and after a moment she hung up.

"Hi." I said. "You didn't have to hang up just because of me."

"It's okay. I see Andrea all the time and I can talk to her later." She shrugged.

"You see me all the time too." I pointed out.

"It's not the same. Come sit down." She reached a hand out toward me and I moved from my spot in the doorway. She was sitting at her desk so I sat on the edge of her bed. I felt uneasy and quickly decided not to stay long.

"Do you have a lot of homework tonight?" I asked.

"Nope. Just a little more math and I will be done." She indicated the open book in front of her. Then she scrunched her nose as if she smelled something unpleasant. "Oh, and then I have to practice my monologue for drama class. I forgot about that. Do you want to help me with it later?"

"I dunno. I was thinking of going over to Todd's if you are busy. He has a new video game he can't stop thinking about. . ." I said.

Claire actually looked disappointed. "Oh. Okay then. How long can you stay?"

"You know the rules. Your homework isn't done yet so I better go." I stood up and she grabbed my hand to stop me from moving further.

"Quil, don't. Are you mad about what you heard, about Danny?"

"Who's Danny?" I asked. Now I had a name for the little punk.

"He's no one, Quil, I swear. He's nice to me and the rumor is that he wants to take me to the dance next month. I can't exactly go with you and this is my chance to go to a high school dance. You went to your dances, didn't you?" she explained.

I shrugged. "Yeah. I wasn't going to go to any after I met you but the guys made me."

"So you know it won't mean anything to me."

I nodded and then perked up a little when her words finally got through my thick skull. I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face. "Wait, so you would rather go with me?" I asked.

Claire's face turned white for a second and then blush colored her cheeks. "Did I say that?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Well, you're my best friend. You matter a lot more to me than some random guy at school." She tried to cover her tracks but I knew the truth now. She liked me. She may not be ready to tell me yet and I certainly couldn't do anything about it, but she liked me.

"Then I'm sorry I can't be the one to take you."

"Really?" Claire's face lit up in a way I hadn't seen before and my heart sped up.

"Really." I said and then sat back down again. "Maybe we can fudge on the rules a little today. How about we work on that monologue for a while and then I'll go so you can do your math?" I offered.

Claire beamed at me and quickly started fumbling through her backpack to find the papers she needed. This day just got a whole lot better for me.

. . .

For the next week I drove the pack crazy as I rehearsed that conversation in my head over and over again, especially enjoying Claire's blush and expression when I caught her admitting her feelings for me, more or less.

And a month later I pasted on a smile and repeated her words in my head like a mantra as I hung out at the Uley's while Emily helped Claire with her hair before the dance. I may be a glutton for punishment but I really wanted to see her all dressed up and get a glimpse of my 'competition'. Claire spent several days before hand reassuring me that she only liked Danny as a friend, and a much lesser friend than me.

It was worth it though when I saw Claire come down the stairs in a burgundy floor length gown with her dark hair curled and piled on her head in an elegant bun. She was absolutely gorgeous. My Claire was turning into quite the woman, and I would have enjoyed the view even more if I didn't know how much all the idiot little boys at her school were going to like it. And while I was no longer worried about her date, I was jealous of the kid because she would be on his arm all night and dance with him when I wish it were me.

But I behaved and gave Claire a light peck on the cheek so I wouldn't ruin her makeup or anything and I whispered to her that she was beautiful. At my words she dropped her gaze and a smile played on her lips as she blushed lightly.

I love this girl.

So I watched her leave with her date and was even able to chuckle at Sam who kept watching me carefully as if I would suddenly turn on the kid and rip his arms off. I could do this as long as I knew she wished it were me. I tried to explain this to Sam but I don't think he got it. I don't want to be the big bad wolf who won't let his imprint enjoy high school and all the normal important parts of that experience. As long as she ends up with me, I can survive a few nights like this.

. . .

Claire POV

Fall semester of my junior year is over and now I can enjoy the Christmas break. What a relief! My classes weren't that bad or anything and I still have great friends, but its so relaxing to just be home around Quil and the pack. Its getting harder to avoid my friend's questions about dating. Andrea and Cory are going out and others are starting to pair up as well. Other than Homecoming with Danny and a group movie night where I was basically set up with a boy name Tony, I've been able to avoid going out. It's just awkward for me since I don't feel anything for these guys and I don't want to lead them on. And as usual I can't tell anyone about Quil and how great he is, and how special he makes me feel, and how hot he is. . .

So I was especially excited that Emily and my mom arranged for my family to come stay here for Christmas! I didn't have to be away from Quil at all which made everything so much better. He was included in pretty much all of the family activities which just felt right to me. My little brother Devon had a blast with Alex and he pulled me aside and told me how cool he thinks Quil is after two days of snowball fights, sledding and tons of fun outside. Just like last year my favorite part was still getting warmed up by Quil after being outside in the cold. It may not be that sneaky, but I can't exactly get in trouble from cuddling with him when I'm risking hypothermia. Fine, I never got quite _that_ cold, but no one else needs to know that.

The day after my family went home, Quil drove me to Port Angeles for ice skating at a little outdoor rink. I had such fun last year that I insisted we go again. He insisted on paying for the skate rental even though I have money saved from my summer job. When we got on the ice we were both less than graceful and for once I was equal with Quil. While the pack may be coordinated in general, it seems that wolves, like people, weren't necessarily made for sliding around on ice. It took us twenty minutes to really get our feet under us and we both fell a few times, one of which resulted from Quil pulling me down with him since we were hanging onto each other for dear life. After that we did all right and were able to skate around the rink several times without incident.

Quil held my gloved hand in his bare one and I could still feel his heat through the material. I was bundled up in several layers complete with coat, hat, scarf and gloves while he wore a light coat and a hat mostly to keep up appearances. It felt nice gliding along on the ice with Quil. The thought struck me that dating him would be this effortless and comfortable. I would never have to agonize over clothes or what I did or didn't say, or what he did or didn't say and try to guess his emotions as I would with someone else. I knew him and I was unbelievably comfortable in his presence.

After an hour and a half Quil nodded toward the gap in the wall around the rink as we came up to it and I followed him off the ice. The sensation of walking in the skates on the special rubber flooring was odd after gliding so long. I giggled and Quil collapsed onto an empty bench laughing. I sat down with him and we smiled at each other and then burst out laughing some more.

"That was fun." I managed to say around the laughter.

"Yeah it was. I'm not about to win any speed skating awards, but I would come here with you any day." Quil gave me a huge smile.

After staring at each other for a minute his face softened and his warm brown eyes drew me in. He lifted his hand and brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers and then opened his hand to cup my cheek with his warm palm. He made a face.

"Ooh, you are cold honey. Why don't I get us some hot chocolate?" he offered.

I nodded, slightly dazed from the tender way he had caressed my face. He got up and walked quickly over to the concession counter on the outside of the building that housed all the skates, shoe lockers, and restrooms. Luckily the line wasn't very long – hot chocolate sounded so good to me.

While I waited I looked back out at the ice and watched the people I hadn't paid attention to while skating with Quil. There were actually a lot of couples here: many who looked older and married, with a few younger dating couples. There were a few small groups of kids my age and younger, and even a few families with kids who were just learning. I followed the progress of a middle aged couple who were holding hands and looked just as in love as some of the other young couples. I felt an odd tug inside my chest as I thought how nice it would be to have that with Quil one day. It was almost too much for me so I looked away and glanced up at the starry night sky above. The clouds had parted this afternoon which made the air that much colder but allowed me to see the night sky for once.

Quil reappeared right then and handed me a steaming cup as he sat down close to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I wrapped my hands around the hot cup and Quil sipped his drink from his free hand. I leaned into his side and snuggled down in his embrace, enjoying all the warmth I could get. I felt him relax against me as well and we settled back to watch the gliding figures swirl in front of us.

I eventually drank some of my hot cocoa, while Quil downed his pretty quickly. He didn't have to worry about burning his mouth because of his high temperature and fast healing. I was much more careful. As I sat there comfortably cocooned under Quil's arm an old couple with grey hair walked past us.

The woman glanced at us and smiled. "What a cute couple." She commented and they continued on and disappeared in the crowd.

I felt my cheeks heat with a blush and noticed a little color on Quil's face as well.

"I guess we do look a little like a couple." I said quietly. "I mean, you stopped aging when you were 16, so to someone who doesn't know any better, we probably look like a normal couple."

"Yeah. I guess we do." Quil said in wonder. "Is that okay with you?" he asked quietly, looking very nervous.

"Sure. It's amazing they don't think someone like you is totally out of my league though." I said lightly with a small smile, hoping to ease his fears. We haven't really talked about our relationship seriously before so this was new ground for us.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked in genuine surprise.

"Well, look at you; all tall dark and handsome, and then look at ordinary little me. You could just be on a pity date as far as they know."

"Oh come on!" Quil protested. "You are beautiful Claire. And you may be a little biased toward me. As much as I want to gloat over the 'handsome' comment, I'm not that great to look at. And you would never be a pity date for me: you would be a dream date." He froze as he realized what he'd just said.

If I weren't so happy wrapped up next to Quil I could have done a cartwheel. But I had to be careful. I didn't want to freak him out. "I doubt all your friends have crushes on me. Since my birthday party last year Andrea and the girls have been drooling over you and the rest of the pack."

"They have?"

"Of course. You are all tall with great skin and white smiles, your muscles are insane and you are friendly and nice. If any of you had taken your shirts off I wouldn't be able to keep the girls away from the house in the hopes of seeing you guys around."

"And you are including me in all of this?" Quil asked with a smug grin.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Yes."

"So if a guy like me did ask you out on an actual date, what would you say?"

"Yes."

Quil stared at me for a moment searching for something.

"What if _I_ asked you out?" he asked quietly.

"I would say yes." I answered.

"It doesn't gross you out that I'm twice your age?" he checked.

"You don't look twice my age and you don't feel twice my age." I said.

"Could you really see me as a boyfriend?"

I looked down at the cup in my hands. "Only if you can see me as more than a little girl."

"I already do." He said.

"Oh." My eyes snapped up to his and I could see it. I saw the affection and the usual brotherly love and concern, but there was something more as well. Something I've been seeing for a while but couldn't name, and I knew. He did love me the way I loved him. And I saw longing surface in his expression as well. We may love each other but we couldn't do anything about it yet. So he was waiting: patiently waiting and loving and supporting me in everything until the time we could be together.

In that moment I knew I could wait too. The promise I saw in his eyes combined with my mother's words about Quil caring for me and the loving couple I had watched earlier. We would have that, I knew it. I just had to be patient and strong like my amazing best friend.

"Wow." Quil breathed. "So then, will you keep Valentine's Day a little over a year from now open for me?" he asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yes." I said.

"Then it's a date." He said with a light chuckle. He pulled me closer and left a searing kiss on my forehead before wrapping his other arm around me as well in a bone crushing hug. I gave myself up to the heat and hugged him tightly back. I could hear Quil's heart pounding in his chest under my ear and he kept chuckling lightly every so often like he couldn't believe what was happening.

I almost couldn't believe it myself. It may be a year away, but _I had a date with Quil Ateara!_

I wasn't aware of time passing but all of a sudden there was an announcement over the loud speaker that the rink would be closing in fifteen minutes. I reluctantly pulled out of my warm cocoon in Quil's arms and saw that he was equally surprised. We walked hand in hand back to the lockers and changed back into our own shoes and returned the skates. Quil held my hand the entire drive home. We didn't talk much, because there just wasn't much more to say. We were both enjoying what had happened tonight and the promise the future held for us.

I was still in a hazy kind of dream when Quil dropped me off at home, walking me to the door and kissing the top of my head in a goodbye. He had done that hundreds of times before but now I knew that it wasn't just a casual move on his part. He was telling me how much he loved me, just like he had been ever since I found out the truth about him. I wandered past Sam and Emily and went up to bed and slept better than I think I ever have, lost in happy dreams of Quil and I.

**. . .**

**So, what did you think? Was it good? Too cheesy? worth the wait? I'd love to hear from you.**


	11. Chapter 11

Quil POV

The holiday season is both wonderful and excruciating. It's wonderful because I get lots of time with Claire; especially this year since I was pretty much treated like family by both the Uleys and Claire's parents. It was painful for the very same reasons. I couldn't stop thinking about future Christmases when Claire and I will have our own home to invite family to for celebrations. I kept picturing that time and longing for it – knowing I can't have it yet.

Being a good guy and waiting patiently really sucks sometimes.

The usual New Year's Eve party at the Uleys was the worst though. It was two days after I took Claire ice skating and we had that amazing talk so we both know we want to be together. She actually wants to go out with me! She would date me right now if we were normal people and the same age. I get high just thinking about it. Then the knife twists in my heart because we can't do anything about it.

I was ready to throw caution to the wind, say screw it all, and just kiss her at the end of the countdown to the New Year too but fate intervened. Or should I say Embry did. Stupid Alpha, know-it-all, jerk. He must have sensed something or seen it on my face, I don't know, but he swooped over and grabbed me by the shoulder, turning me away and dragging me across the room as Claire and I stared at each other for those last few seconds of the year. At least Claire looked as disappointed as I felt.

I know that I really ought to thank him for saving me from myself, but really, what a way to go. If I could just kiss her once, pull her into my arms and feel her body melt against mine as I kiss her soft lips. . . I could die happy. But come on: when has life ever been that kind to me?

So I barely made it through the last of the holidays and I only had one day with Claire before she started school again. Now classes and homework dictate my time with her and I find myself constantly cursing her over-zealous teachers who keep giving her huge assignments so I'm only allowed to see her for dinner before she goes back to her room to finish studying and doing homework.

Two and half weeks later it was Claire's seventeenth birthday. She didn't put up a fight or insist on not having a party this year because last time things turned around for her and she actually enjoyed herself. I talked Emily into letting me pay for all the food and she baked and decorated a cake for Claire. Emily got Andrea's help again to get their group of friends to come and Claire looked happy when the party broke out that evening. I had warned the guys about what Claire said about her friends liking us a bit too much and we all kept a low profile most of the time so as not to attract the girl's attention too much.

Eventually the party wound down and people headed home, having stayed kind of late since it's a Friday night. The pack left last, all stopping to give Claire hugs and promises to beat anyone up who gives her trouble. She laughed and said that isn't a problem anymore. My mind flashed back to that Kevin kid who made her so miserable for all those years. And he had even kissed her. It was a good thing he wasn't around because I could have flattened his face without a second thought.

Through some miracle, since I already know fate isn't on my side, everyone kind of melted away after I helped Emily clean up and when I came back in from taking the last garbage bag outside, I found Claire sitting alone in the living room. She was on the couch with her legs curled up underneath her looking at the small pile of presents on the coffee table in front of her. I walked over to her, cleared my throat and asked if she would mind some company.

Claire just reached out her hand to me in answer. I took it and she pulled me down onto the couch next to her. Once I was settled she shifted and leaned against my side, resting her head against my shoulder as I draped my arm around her and pulled her close. I was truly comfortable for the first time that night and I joined her in staring at the gifts.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"It was a good day." She said quietly. "There's just one thing missing, though."

"What's that?" I was confused. I tried to make sure everything went right. Did I forget to invite someone? Her parents didn't come because her dad had a business conference this weekend and they celebrated with her last weekend while she was home in Makah with them.

"There's nothing here from you." she indicated the pile we were studying.

"Oh." I immediately relaxed and chuckled a little. "I can fix that."

I pulled away from her so I could lean forward and open the drawer in the coffee table. I took out the wrapped package I had hidden there earlier in the day so it wouldn't get misplaced. Claire sat up and took the present from my hands as I held it out to her. I turned a little to face her and watch as she ripped off the paper to reveal a highly polished wooden jewelry box with a painting of a wooded coastline on top. It looked a lot like a favorite spot of hers near first beach and I had to get it for her when I saw it.

"This is beautiful, thank you." she said as she ran her fingers over the smooth surface. She looked up at me with a smile and I knew I was right about the gift.

"Open it." I instructed.

She did and 'oohed' when she saw the necklace with a polished green stone. I had gotten Emily's help again and it matched the bracelet she still wore every day.

"Quil! It's perfect." She exclaimed and picked up the necklace, leaving the box on her lap. She studied the stone and the woven leather cord for a moment before looking up at me with the biggest smile.

She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. As she pulled back she placed a kiss on my cheek and without thinking I turned my face to meet her lips. They were smooth and soft and warm and perfect. I felt something shift inside me, clicking into place and I was completely whole for the first time in my life. My hand lifted to caress her cheek as I kissed her gently, her lips moving naturally with mine in a sweet, slow dance.

After a moment I pulled back slightly and studied her face. Her eyes remained closed a few seconds longer and she sighed contentedly. Then her beautiful brown eyes opened and met mine with a look of complete bliss. I ran my thumb over her cheek one more time and dropped my hand between us to hold her hand which was clutching the necklace.

"Wow." She breathed, with a smile.

"Yeah." I agreed. "Happy birthday, Claire."

We sat there quietly staring at each other for another minute. I didn't want to move and leave this perfect moment with Claire but then I heard shuffling feet coming down the hallway toward the top of the stairs. I heard a yawn and then Emily spoke.

"Hey guys, it's late. We'll see you tomorrow Quil."

"Goodnight Emily." I said, trying not to sound too disappointed. I don't think I succeeded.

"I'll be right there." Claire told her aunt. She still looked a little dazed and I couldn't help but smile.

I stood up, helping Claire to her feet as well. She held the box and necklace in front of her but didn't move. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her, leaving a final kiss on top of her head.

"I love you Claire. Sleep well." I said.

Claire's arms went around my waist and she hugged me back as well as she could while holding the box in one hand and the necklace in the other. "I love you too, Quil." She murmured against my chest.

It may have just been the best night of my life so far.

. . .

Claire and I didn't speak about the kiss we shared and I guarded those memories from the pack. I didn't want anyone to comment or ruin that amazing moment. It was a special secret she and I shared alone. Sometimes when we had a quiet moment alone I thought I caught her thinking about it though. But we both knew we had to wait a while before we could do something like that again. I almost didn't mind having to wait so much – almost.

Then in late March a whole new series of events was set in motion. While on patrol one night Todd and I came across a fresh vampire trail which we followed as it zigzagged with no clear pattern all around the forest not far from the Black house. It didn't take us long to catch up to two crimson eyed leeches who were stopped in a clearing arguing with one another. We caught them by surprise and tore into them quickly. My right foreleg was broken in the fight but I still took down my leech just before Embry and Brady arrived in response to our howls. We burned all the pieces of the leeches and tried to cover any evidence of the fight before we went home.

Claire was upset about my broken arm the next day but by nightfall it was only slightly sore and bruised and I knew it would be good as new by the next day. I sure didn't mind her extra attention and cuddles that night though.

We didn't think much of it until I spoke to Jake a week later. He called to say that he and the Cullens would be travelling a lot for the next few months at least because Carlisle got a tip from a friend with the Volturi that Aro, one of the leaders we saw years ago at the Cullen place, wanted to track down Nessie. Jake said that his motives were not good so they would be avoiding the Volturi at all costs. He promised to let me know if he had to change his number or anything and that he would keep in touch.

Before he could hang up though, I told him about the two leeches we took down the week before. He asked a few questions and was really bothered to find out they were wearing black robes. I hadn't thought anything of it at the time, because really, who cares about vampire fashion? But Jake said that the robes were a Volturi thing and told us to be on alert and be careful. As soon as I hung up with him I called Embry and relayed the news.

Over the next month Jake called us every week to see if we had seen anyone else snooping around the area and tell us where they had been. They weren't staying anywhere long because the Volturi have a talented tracker on their side and Alice was watching everything closely but was still uncertain because Jake clouded her visions. We hadn't seen anything suspicious on our end but I understood why the Cullens were being so cautious. I wouldn't take any chances if Claire were in danger.

At the beginning of May Embry tracked me down while I was helping Claire study for a math test. He knocked lightly on the door and let himself in. Emily looked up from the lasagna she was putting together before it went in the oven.

"Hi Embry." She said and then worry creased her brow when she saw his face. "What's going on?"

I looked between them in concern. Something was wrong, I could feel it. Embry looked at me sadly.

"I need to talk to you Quil. Pack business." He said and angled his body back toward the door. He wanted to go somewhere else to talk. This was serious and dread settled into the pit of my stomach.

"I guess I have to go then." I said. I stood up and left a kiss on top of Claire's head. "I'll talk to you later." I said and she squeezed my hand which rested on her shoulder for a moment.

"Bye." Claire said. She watched us walk out the front door.

Embry didn't say a word as he led into the forest and finally stopped by an outcropping of rocks deep under the cover of trees. The world around us was green and eerily still.

"What's going on Embry? It'll just be easier if you spit it out." I said.

"Okay. I've thought long and hard about this and I got advice from both Jake and Sam, so just know that I didn't make this decision lightly." He started.

Oh man, I knew this couldn't be good.

"Jake needs some help. The psychic one has determined that the Volturi are going to catch up with them soon, no matter what they do. The Cullens have already contacted some of their friends from before and they are all meeting to stand up for Nessie again. Jake hates to ask for it, but he would like some back-up of his own. I can't leave the Res and I wouldn't leave it unguarded anyway. You and Brady have the most experience so I'm sending the two of you down to Costa Rica to help Jake."

I sat still as the news sank in. I would be leaving Claire, leaving the Res, heck, leaving the country to help Jake and his imprint. If it weren't for Claire I would be excited. I was torn between dread and duty, but I knew what I would do. There really was no question because this was why we were wolves.

Embry was watching me nervously.

"Okay." I said with resolve.

"What?" Embry asked in shock. "You aren't going to rip my head off or yell or anything?"

I shook my head. "If I needed Jake he would come to help me. You are a good Alpha, Embry, but we both know Jake would still be it if he could stay here. Plus we've been friends forever and I know it's probably killing him that Nessie is in danger. I won't turn my back on him now."

Embry just nodded and looked impressed.

"Don't get me wrong: this sucks and its going to be hard to leave Claire behind, but you'll take care of her, right?" I said.

"You know I will." Embry said.

"When are we supposed to leave?"

"There are tickets for a flight tomorrow waiting at the airport for you."

This was happening fast. Okay.

"How long will this take? What's the plan?" I asked.

"Jake didn't say. I got the impression he has something in mind, but he didn't want to go into detail over the phone."

I took a deep breath and steeled myself. "I better go tell Claire and my mom."

"I'll drive you and Brady to the airport in the morning. The flight leaves at ten."

Now I just had the problem of breaking the news to Claire.

Embry stayed behind as I walked slowly back to the Uleys. When I walked in I found Emily sitting at the table with a very nervous looking Claire. She looked like she wanted to jump out of her seat and run to me but held herself back.

"It's something bad, isn't it? I can feel it." Claire said.

"I'm going to go help Jake. The Volturi have been trying to track down Nessie and we need to keep her safe. I don't know how long it will take or exactly where I'll be for a while." I decided to just say it all and get it over with.

"You're leaving?" Emily asked in shock.

"I have to do this." I said this more to Claire than Emily.

"When do you leave?" Claire asked.

"In the morning." I said. I felt my heart rip in two as Claire's face crumpled.

"I'm so sorry, honey." I went to Claire, pulled her to her feet, and wrapped her in my arms. "I'm going to miss you."

Claire started shaking and I realized she was crying. "Do you have to go? Can't one of the others do it instead?"

"Brady is going with me and Embry and Todd will stay here to protect the Res. It's what Embry decided."

"But why can't Todd and Brady just go so you can stay?" she suggested.

"I have more experience and Jake is one of my oldest friends. Embry would go if he could, I know it."

Claire shook her head against my chest. "I don't want you to go. Not now."

"I know, honey."

"What if something happens to you? We never had a chance to . . . we've never even been on a date. What about next Valentine's day?" Claire asked in a panic.

"What about it?" Emily asked, breaking into our conversation. I had forgotten she was here.

"We kind of made some long term plans to go out. Claire will be eighteen by then." I said, hoping Emily wouldn't freak out right now. I had a very limited amount of time left with Claire before I left for who knows how long and I didn't want to waste it fighting with Emily.

"You two have talked about dating? I had no idea you had made that step yet." Emily said more in surprise than anger. Maybe it was okay after all.

"We had a heart to heart last Christmas. I would date him right now if I could." Claire said boldly.

Did I mention that I love this girl?

I kissed the top of her head and Claire quickly turned and reached for me. I leaned down slightly and she locked her arms around my neck in a fierce embrace. I straightened up and held her against me with her feet off the ground. Her body was pressed against mine and I felt her take deep breaths around sobs that caught in her throat.

"I don't want you to go." She asserted and tightened her grip slightly.

"I don't want to leave you, but I need to do this Claire. It's important. The guys would help me if it was you, so I need to go help Jake and Nessie." I gently pulled out of her embrace while still holding her up so I could look her in the eye. "But I swear that I will do everything I can to come home safe and as quickly as possible. Valentine's day is still mine, got it?"

Claire nodded and then surprised me by suddenly pressing her lips to mine in a desperate kiss. I completely forgot that we had an audience as I kissed her back with the same intensity. This was very different than our first kiss and would have been equally enjoyable if it weren't for the pain of our looming separation flavoring it. I felt Claire's hands slip through my hair and grip the back of my neck, forcefully holding me to her. She didn't need to though – I wasn't going anywhere just yet. I tightened my grip around her waist to show her I wanted this just as much.

A sharp intake of breath from across the room preceded an angry outburst. "Quil! What do you think you're doing?" Sam's voice demanded loudly.

Claire released her grip and I opened my eyes to see hers wide with surprise and fear.

"Oh no." She muttered under her breath.

I lowered Claire's feet back to the ground and finally looked over her head to see Emily staring at us and Sam fuming behind her.

"Let go of my niece, Quil." Sam ground out.

I released Claire only so I could take a defensive stance in front of her. I put up my hands in a calming gesture toward Sam. "Don't freak out man, I wasn't taking advantage. Claire knows I love her and we got caught up in the moment."

"What kind of moment was that, Quil? The kind where you violate a girl half your age? Her parents trusted me to watch out for her and here you are kissing her under my roof! And in front of my wife!" Sam stalked toward me the whole time he spoke.

"I started it Sam." Claire practically yelled. "So back off!"

Sam stopped short and stared at Claire.

"You . . .what?"

As much as I loved watching Claire stand up to Sam, it was time for me to step in.

"Sam, listen to me. I just got the order from Embry: I leave in the morning to go help Jake and Nessie with the Volturi situation. They are in Costa Rica right now but I don't know if that's where we'll stay or how long it will take to end this. Claire was just upset that I'm going away. You won't even have to ground her to keep us apart because in less than twenty-four hours I'll be out of the country. Just calm down and let us have a nice goodbye; please?"

"It's true: all of it." Emily finally found her voice.

"You're going to help Jake?" Sam asked as he tried to process this new information on top of the kissing. At least he was distracted from that for a moment.

"Yes. My flight leaves at ten in the morning."

"You are going up against the Volturi again?" Sam continued.

"I think so. If that's what it takes, that's what we'll do to get them to leave Nessie alone." I said.

"That's . . . wow . . . I'm sorry, man." Sam stepped closer and gave me a man-hug with strong pats on my back. "I guess I should say good luck then. Be safe."

"I'm coming back." I said with certainty as I turned toward Claire. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears, but she managed to nod to show me she understood.

"So, am I just supposed to forget that you kissed each other? What do I tell Sally and Mark?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. They don't need to know because it won't happen again until I'm eighteen." Claire said.

I just nodded, willing to go along with almost anything as long as I could spend a little more time with Claire tonight.

Sam looked uneasy but finally nodded. "Fine. I won't say anything as long as you two stay under control for the rest of the night."

"It's a deal." I said quickly.

I coaxed Claire back to the table to finish studying before dinner. Then I ate with the family and spent a half hour more with Claire before I realized I still hadn't talked to my mom. I had gotten distracted by everything that happened with Claire but I needed to go and say goodbye to family and pack some things.

Claire walked with me out to my car and I noticed Sam watching us from the doorway to make sure there was no repeat of earlier. I couldn't blame the guy, but I still thought he needed to relax a little. He knows me better than that.

That's not to say I wasn't tempted to kiss Claire again. Of course I wanted to, but I also knew it wasn't the time. I had no idea what the next few days, weeks or months held for me, but I knew I had to find a way to survive and come back to Claire.

I had to.

So for now I settled for pulling Claire into a tight hug. She buried her face in my chest as she clutched me tight around my waist. I rocked slightly side to side to comfort her.

"I'm scared, Quil. I'm afraid you won't come back." She said in a small voice, squeezing me tight, her hands gripping the back of my shirt in fists.

"Its going to be okay, honey. I will make it all okay as soon as I can and before you know it I will be home, bugging you all the time, and taking you on that date." I told her, murmuring into her sweet smelling hair.

"I hope so. I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too, but I will call when I can. You study hard for your finals and have some fun with your friends. I just want you to be safe and happy." I said. I breathed her in one more time and released her, "I need to go now."

Leaving a last kiss on her head I made myself get in my car and go. In the rearview mirror I saw Claire watching me from the front porch while Sam and Emily waited to take care of her. She was going to be fine.

**. . .**

**A/N: There you have it. We've made some more progress. Was it good, bad, ugly? Do you hate me for that last part? Leave a review and tell me what you think.**


	12. Chapter 12

Claire POV

I wasn't going to be able to sleep, that much was clear when I looked at the clock to see that it was only 2:35am. I did some quick math: seven and half hours until Quil's flight leaves. He hasn't even left yet and I can't function. What am I going to do while he's gone?

If I could do anything right now, it would be to go and see him, but I can't do that. Can I? I've never really been one to break the rules like that. And I'm so grateful to the Uley's for letting me stay here that I've never wanted to push them and give them a reason to send me home. But what's the point now? My whole reason for being in La Push is about to leave it and I have no idea when I will see him again.

I debated with myself for another 45 minutes, no nearer to sleep than I had been. The house was silent and I was the only one awake right now, of that I was sure. So I slipped out of bed and crept through the house to the front room. I took my jacket off the peg by the door and picked up my shoes by the door as I quietly opened it and let myself out into the night. I carefully closed the door and went down the porch steps before setting my shoes on the ground and stepping into them. I shrugged into my jacket as I started walking toward Quil's house.

Fifteen minutes later I was in front of his house. Now I was frozen by indecision. It wasn't really fair of me to wake him up if he was actually sleeping, after all. Then that thought made me angry: how dare he be able to sleep on a night like this! Then I felt terrible again, wondering when I would see him again. I even let the traitorous thought slip: _if_ I ever see him again. I shook my head and banished that thought. I _would_ see him. He promised to come back and he will. He has to.

I didn't even realize I had started pacing until movement from the corner of my eye brought me to a stop again. Quil stood in his open doorway watching me with a confused expression on his face.

"Claire? What are you doing?" he asked.

I just stared at him for a moment. He was wearing pajama pants and his hair was slightly mussed. It was an incredibly sexy look for him.

When I didn't move or answer he took a step out the door toward me.

"Are you okay, honey? Are you sleep-walking?" he sounded concerned.

"No." I shook my head. "I couldn't sleep and I wanted to see you."

Quil reached me and put his arm around my shoulder as he guided me toward the house. "Come inside and warm up before I take you home."

I let Quil lead me to the couch in his small living room and I sat as he wrapped a blanket around me and then went into the kitchen. After a little banging around and the rush of water in the sink he came back with a cup of hot cocoa for me and sat down beside me on the couch.

"Did you sneak out?" he asked.

"Everyone was asleep and I just couldn't hold still anymore. I just wanted to see you. Did I wake you up?"

"No. I didn't get home until midnight and then I packed and just laid here in the dark trying to sleep. There's just too much going on in my head, you know?" he said.

"Yeah."

"Drink that before it gets cold." He nodded toward the mug in my hands.

I obediently swallowed about half of it and the warmth of the liquid spread through me. I hadn't realized how cold it was outside and I gave a violent shiver.

"Alright, come here." Quil took the mug from me and set it on the coffee table. Then he pulled at the blanket around me and moved closer to me so he could put his arm around me, situating the blanket around us both. His heat quickly warmed me and I settled happily into his side.

"Sam will kill me if he finds out about this." He mumbled.

"Then we won't tell him." I answered simply.

"He's your guardian, Claire."

"I thought that was your title." I tried to tease him.

He gave me a small smile and then his forehead creased. "I was hoping my title would change to boyfriend soon."

"That's better, but it's still not quite enough to describe you."

"Well, I am pretty amazing." Quil joked with a wink.

"I know." I leaned away slightly so I could look at him better.

Quil's face became more serious as he searched my eyes. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes."

"And everything is going to be alright."

I hesitated. "What if something happens?"

He shook his head and shifted so he could face me and hold my hands. "I know this is going to be hard. I am dreading being away from you – I already know it's hell. But I have to do this. And as soon as humanly possible, I will be back here with you again and I'll never let anything come between us."

"Okay." I nodded and then leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, giving the extra bit of comfort I needed. For the first time all night I was finally able to relax a bit and my eyelids grew heavy as I was surrounded by Quil's love and warmth. I gave in and closed my eyes for a moment.

"I should get you home." Quil's voice rumbled against my ear that was pressed to his chest.

"Not yet." I murmured. "Please."

Quil settled back into the couch again but I felt his muscles tense as he pulled something from his pocket and soft beeps were the last sound I was aware of.

Someone was shaking my arm and a deep voice said "It's time, brother."

I opened my eyes to soft morning light and felt my pillow start to move. I lifted my head and realized that I had fallen asleep with Quil on his couch and Todd was standing over us, shaking Quil's shoulder as well. I was curled up by his side with my head on his shoulder and he was settled back into the couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table. One arm still held me firmly in place.

Reality quickly began to sink in and I realized someone may have noticed my absence at home by now. I sat up and Quil groaned in protest. Todd just smirked at me.

"Relax, sleeping beauty, I'm here to make sure you don't get in huge trouble." Todd said. "But it would be a good time to WAKE UP." His voice grew louder at the end and he gave Quil another shove. "Embry will have my hide if you aren't ready for him to drive you to the airport in twenty minutes."

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Six. And don't worry. I left a little note at your house on my way here this morning so if anyone wakes up, you are covered." Todd said proudly.

"Thanks." Quil said, sitting up and rubbing his face now. "I appreciate you being chaperone."

"What?" I asked.

"Quil texted me when you fell asleep and I came over to be witness that your virtue stay intact." Todd grinned at me. "That is, assuming you didn't do anything before I got here around 3:30 this morning."

"If we had done anything more than talk, you would have smelled it." Quil said.

"Good point. But I was already going to vouch for you dude." Todd agreed.

"What are you talking about? Wait, you can smell that kind of thing?" I asked.

Todd started laughing like a lunatic while Quil's cheeks reddened slightly. "Don't worry about it, honey. Just wait here while I get ready and we'll drop you home." He stood up and went to his room.

Todd calmed down a bit and pulled me into the kitchen when I heard the shower start. He poured us both some cereal and sat down at the table with me. We talked a little bit about our summer plans while we ate and waited for Quil.

A short while later he came out of his room freshly scrubbed, fully dressed and carrying a duffle bag he dropped by the front door. He left a kiss on my head as he passed by to get his own bowl of cereal and then came back to sit beside me. He grabbed one of my hands that was resting on the table and held it in his free hand the whole time he ate. I had a momentary flash forward where I could perfectly imagine future mornings we will spend together, only without Todd and under different circumstances. Our relationship would have definitely progressed by then and my cheeks flared red as I thought what that would mean.

Quil squeezed my hand and I looked up at him. His eyebrows rose in obvious question and I shook my head. Now wasn't the right time to talk about our future. I was spared any awkward questions by a quick knock at the door before Embry and Brady let themselves in.

I have never really thought about the size of Quil's house, but when there were four pack members surrounding me the kitchen began to feel very small. Embry and Brady nodded greetings toward me and then focused on Quil.

"Ready to go?" Embry asked.

"No. But I'll go anyway." Quil grumbled, not taking his eyes off me.

"I'll come back and do the dishes." Todd offered.

"Thanks." Quil said, standing up and gently pulling me with him. "We better get you home then." He said to me.

"Do your hugging here because we don't have time for a long goodbye at Sam's after this." Embry said, grabbing Quil's duffle as he walked out the door.

I stopped Quil by not moving out of the kitchen with the others. "Is he mad that I'm here?" I whispered, even though it was probably pointless with Embry's good hearing.

"No honey. He just feels bad that he's separating us and this is just reminding him of that." Quil said. He wrapped me into a tight hug and kissed my cheek. "I'll be home before you know it." He promised.

"I know."

And with that I had another flash of our future: of Quil's arms around me before he leaves for work, with the promise of missing me for the few hours we are separated by his job or for patrolling until he gives up his wolf. If only he were leaving for a few hours of work. I felt a rush of longing to leap forward to that time, when Quil truly belonged to me alone and we could share a life. I have never felt the need for that life so strongly as I do now. I couldn't stop the tears that sprang to my eyes.

"Shh. It's okay. I know I shouldn't make promises, but I just feel like everything will work out for us. We just have to be patient a little longer." Quil's arms tightened slightly as he swayed, rocking me and soothing me. He always seemed to know what I needed without me having to say a word. He was so in tune with my own heart and it made me ache even more inside. I simply can't picture my world without him in it.

I heard a throat clear behind me and heard Todd's voice. It cracked despite the playful tone of his words. "Okay lovebirds, it's time to say goodbye."

Leaving one arm around my shoulders, Quil turned me and walked me out the door to the open door of Embry's waiting car. Quil slid into the back seat first and I followed, still clinging to his hand, afraid to break contact for the small amount of time we had left. I was vaguely aware that the other three guys were talking as we drove but I didn't care to listen. I just knew that my time with Quil was slipping away much too quickly.

Embry parked in front of the Uley house and Todd jumped out of the back seat and jogged up to the door. I looked away. I didn't want to see Sam's anger or disappointment yet. I would deal with that later. I turned my head into Quil's shoulder and breathed in his clean scent. My throat closed up and I felt panic rising inside me. I can't do this! I can't let him just leave.

Again I felt Quil's arms around me. I clung to him with all the strength I had as I fought back my tears and panic. I want that future I glimpsed this morning. I hate my age and everything that has been keeping Quil and I apart. I know where I belong and also that I can't have it. That kills me.

Before I am ready I feel Quil kiss my forehead and I hear him promising to be back soon. Then a different set of warm arms is lifting me out of the car and away. I can't breathe, I can't speak or move. I just watch Quil's eyes as the door is closed and the car starts driving away. He doesn't look away from me.

Then another door closes and Todd sets me down on the couch in the living room. Emily is there and she holds me while I watch Todd talk to Sam. I don't hear what they say, but I can see that my uncle is not mad like I thought he would be. Instead he looks worried. Everyone looks worried and I know its my fault but I just don't want to do anything right now. I want to be safe and warm, wrapped up in Quil's sleeping embrace again, before this day got started.

. . .

Quil didn't call until the day after he flew out for Costa Rica. By that morning I had started functioning normally again and I still hadn't been punished for sneaking out. Todd helped a lot with that because he had been our 'witness' more or less. Sam answered the phone and spoke to Quil briefly before he handed me the phone.

"Quil!" I practically yelled into the phone I was so excited.

"Hi Honey." His warm voice answered. I immediately felt more calm and happy.

"How is Costa Rica?" I asked.

"The rainforest is amazing; you would love it. Maybe I can bring you here one day." He said.

My heart sped up. He was making plans for things to do with me in the future! I barely held in a squeal as he continued.

"Jake met me at the airport and took me to where he and Nessie have been staying with the Cullens. They have nice houses all over the place. I can't imagine having that kind of money. Jake has gotten used to it but it's still weird to me. Anyway, Brady and I are getting used to the smell."

"So is everything okay there?" I asked and my nerves kicked in. Please don't let him be in danger. Please, oh please.

"Yeah. Things are quiet here right now but there is a plan. I can't tell you anything, for everyone's safety, but I think it's good and it should work. I won't be able to call you a lot though, probably only once a week." He sounded disappointed.

Is it wrong that it made me happy to know he missed me like I miss him?

"I'll take what I can get. I miss you."

"I miss you too, Honey. You know I'd rather be there with you, right?"

"I know."

"Good." He said. "Now promise me you won't be mad at Embry for this. I know it wasn't an easy decision for him but I think he was right."

"Fine. I won't be mad." I conceded. "Unless you get hurt."

"Claire." Quil chastened.

"Alright. Just be careful okay? You promised to come back to me."

"I'll always come back to you. As long as you want me to." Quil's voice had softened.

My throat closed up a little and I choked on my words. I wanted to say 'Of course I want you. I'll always want you in every way.' But that might have been a little much. I just nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Are you still there?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yeah." I managed to croak. "and I do."

I heard Quil sigh. He understood. He always understood me.

"I love you, Claire."

"Love you too." I said and felt tears pricking my eyes.

An odd strangled sound came from the other end of the line followed by a thwack. "Shut up Brady." I heard Quil mutter.

"Sorry about that." Quil said louder into the phone. "Brady's being an idiot.

"I love you Claire!" I heard a muted yell and laughter. Brady.

"Punch him once for me, will you?" I said.

"Anytime." Quil sounded almost gleeful to have permission. "K, I better go. I just wanted to check in. I'll call again when I can. You study hard for your finals and pass everything, okay?"

"I will. Bye." I said. There was a pause before Quil said goodbye as well and we hung up.

I turned away from the phone on the kitchen wall to see Emily and the twins sitting at the counter watching me. The twins looked slightly wistful and Emily was smiling. I blushed now that I realized I had an audience.

. . .

Later that night I called my Mom for our usual chat and weekly catch-up. I had a lot to tell her about Quil since she didn't know about him leaving yet. Now I was excited to tell her that I had heard from him as well. She was surprised that he actually left, but was understanding when I explained the situation to her.

"So, what does that mean for you?" Mom asked. "What are your plans for after school gets out in two weeks?"

"My friend Jill was telling me about a lifeguarding course she took last summer and she will be a lifeguard on the beach for the resort so I thought I might take that course. It sounds fun and I would get to spend plenty of time on the beach." I said.

"So you won't come home?" Mom asked.

"What?"

"Well, if Quil isn't around anyway, is there any reason you can't come home for a longer stay, maybe two or three weeks?"

Oh. I hadn't even thought about that. I've been so focused on dealing with Quil being gone that I hadn't thought about my family. I felt like a complete jerk.

"Yeah, mom. I would like that. How about I come home right after school gets out?" I offered.

Mom seemed relieved. She jumped on that and started planning what we would do while I was home.

. . .

The next three weeks were busy as I studied and took my finals. And then school was finally out! Andrea threw a big party the day our summer officially started. It was fun to hang out and just be young for a few hours. I tried not to think about Quil and vengeful, power-hungry, vampires and focused instead on my friends and the cares of average seventeen year olds.

True to his word, Quil had called every four or five days. He always sounded down at the beginning of our conversation but his voice and mood lightened the longer we talked. I knew it was hard for him to be so far from home and from me. And I missed him too. I was careful not to tell him that in every other sentence, but I still felt it. I also left out that I was starting to get minor headaches by the end of the second week. He was proud of my grades though and kept telling me to have fun this summer. I told him to call me at my parents house starting in a few days.

Sam quickly got over the kiss I gave Quil the night before he left and he never did talk about me sneaking out or lecture me about how long I spent on the phone with Quil. We usually spoke for an hour which never felt quite long enough, but it had to be enough for now. It was also hard for me to get any privacy because the twins and other daughters in the wolfpack would mysteriously show up and listen and ohh and ahh, especially when we said goodbye. Emily tried to help but then she often fell into listening as well, so I just gave up trying to stop them. I don't care how they try to romanticize it: a long distance relationship stinks!

The one real comfort I have is that we are soul mates so I don't have to worry to about what he's doing or who he is with. The way he talks, this is like some military mission or out of town job and he's busy all the time. He tells me that he keeps himself extra busy so he won't have much time to think about how much he misses me.

Three days after school ended dad drove down and collected me and my large bag for a three week visit home. It was kind of hard to say goodbye to Emily and the kids, knowing I wouldn't be seeing them every day for a while. Sam had already gone to work for the day and I wasn't surprised or upset that he missed this farewell. Since Quil left he's given me a lot of space and when he did look at me he usually looked sad. I asked Emily about it one day and she said he was just a big softie inside and he felt terrible that Quil and I had to go through yet another separation. He had confided in her that he didn't think he would be strong enough to leave her behind like that, duty or not, and he was ashamed of it. So he was compensating by taking it easy on me.

My first week home mom kept us all busy with family activities. She and dad took some time off work and took Devon and I on a kind of mini vacation along the coast for a few days. Alyssa was taking summer classes in order to get ahead for next year so she wasn't with us but I called her and we talked for a while. I missed a call from Quil while we were gone and I had to hide my returning headaches from my mom. I didn't want to ruin this for her since she has been so supportive of my move and living away from home for the last two years.

When I got home I called Emily and she told me about her little conversation with Quil and Brady while I was gone. I also called Andrea and Jill and got caught up with them and all the latest news with our friends. I missed them but it was nice to spend some real time with my own family again.

Quil surprised me by calling off schedule two days after we got home. Mom called me to the phone and I was happy to hear his voice.

"Claire." His voice was rough but filled with relief.

"Are you okay Quil?" I asked. He didn't sound good and it scared me. "Has there been a fight?"

"No, nothing like that. I just needed to hear your voice." He took a deep shuddering breath. "I miss you so much." He whispered.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for your call before. I hated not hearing you that day." I said.

"Me too. I'm afraid I haven't been any good for anything because of it." Quil said.

"What's wrong? There's something serious isn't there? You can tell me. I want to support you." I asserted.

"It's just hard to be so far from you. Everyone understands but I really can't leave now. We are about to do something big that should keep Nessie safe. I just keep trying to tell myself it's for you, because if I don't I can't focus. It's like what happened before when I couldn't see you. I don't want to lose myself here."

My heart broke for him as I listened. I could feel his pain but I knew I couldn't take it away.

Quil let out a low curse. "I'm sorry, Claire. I wasn't going to dump this on you. I just wanted to hear your voice. I needed something to keep me going. So just talk. Tell me anything. I just need to hear you." he pleaded.

"My headaches are coming back." I confessed. "I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry. We aren't helping each other by keeping secrets, Quil."

I heard him groan.

"But it's okay. I would rather have headaches and know that you are out there somewhere than live without you."

"Every night this week I had a nightmare that you found someone else, someone better for you than me." Quil told me.

"That will never happen, I swear. Do you know, when I was younger, after you told me the truth, I was always afraid that one day I would find out you imprinted. When mom made me move to La Push, I kept waiting for Emily to tell me that you had found someone and forgotten all about me. The idea of that happening scared me so much."

"Claire." His voice was still rough, but warm.

"And do you know what I thought that last morning before you left?" I asked. I hadn't told anyone about my flashes of the future.

"What?"

"When we sat there eating breakfast I could see it so clearly: I could see us eating breakfast together in our house, everyday, just like it should be. I wanted that so badly. And for the first time I really hated being so young." My own voice cracked slightly and betrayed me.

"Honey. . ." Quil sounded sad again.

"Don't be sad. Just remember that and come back to me."

"I still can't believe that you could want me." He said.

"How could I not want you?" I asked.

Quil hmphed on the other end of the line.

I decided to lighten things up a bit, knowing full well that Quil would remember what I told him later when he needs it. I hoped it would be enough to keep him going. "Do you want to hear about my family's little road trip?" I asked.

"I want to hear everything." Quil said.

So we spent most of the next hour talking about unimportant things. But through it all I could tell that Quil was happier and more relaxed by the end of it. I promised to be home for his usual call in two days and we said goodbye.

He's only been gone one month and we are both already a little messed up. I really hope this whole thing will be resolved soon so he can come back.


	13. Chapter 13

Claire POV

Devon spent the next two days stuck with me. Poor kid. He was a good sport though and introduced all his friends to me. Then they took me with them to hang out at the marina and in front of one of their uncle's stores. It was a little awkward to be following my little brother around, but I don't exactly have anyone else to hang out with here since Beth and I lost touch. Mom encouraged me to get out with him while she and dad went to work. Oh well.

While we were at the store a familiar car drove up. I barely glanced at it until I heard someone say my name. I looked up to see Tammy and Beth staring at me. Kevin was paused awkwardly behind them, halfway out of the driver's seat. Matt got out of the back seat and stopped when he saw everyone staring and he turned to look at me as well.

I didn't know what to do. It's been over a year since I've seen or spoken to most of them, and three of them were pretty much run off my uncle's property almost two years ago. I really didn't want to think about what Kevin did that time.

Devon's friends noticed the glances and fell quiet. My little brother looked at me curiously when Beth finally spoke up.

"Hi Claire." Beth gave me a cautious smile which I returned.

"What are you doing here?" Tammy asked. She never was as nice to me as Beth.

"I'm visiting my family for a few weeks." I said.

Kevin scoffed. "Did they kick you out of La Push? Or did your boyfriend finally end up in jail where he belongs?"

"I've never had a boyfriend." I responded quietly.

"Sorry, I meant your 'lover'." Kevin sneered.

"I guess some things never change." I shook my head and turned back to Devon and his friends.

"Did he wear you out or get tired of you? Maybe he decided you were too old and it was time to go young again." Kevin persisted.

"Hey! You can't talk to her that way!" Devon shouted, starting to move around me.

I put up a hand to stop Devon who was fuming now. I glanced back at the others again to see that Tammy was beside Kevin and Matt had joined Beth on the far side of the car. She looked upset, but I couldn't tell if it was my fault or Kevin's.

"Sorry, I guess she prefers dirty talk." Kevin persisted.

"Kevin, that's enough." Matt spoke up.

"Thank you for proving once again that I made the right decision when I left behind my home and family to get away from you." I said.

"Did you bring your uncle to threaten us again?" Kevin challenged. He just wasn't going to stop.

"What do you want Kevin? Why can't you just walk away and leave me alone for once? What did I ever do to you?"

"I want you to admit what we've known since we were kids. Just tell us what that creep did to you and stop pretending you are so much better than the rest of us." Kevin stared straight at me, waiting.

"I don't expect you to understand, Kevin. Quil was everything you weren't. He was my best friend and was always nice to me. I knew he would do anything to make me happy. He would have rather died than see me hurt. Then you started spreading vicious lies about him and I sent him away so you couldn't ruin his life. For the last five years _you_ made my life miserable. That is the truth." I stared straight back at him while I spoke until he cringed and could no longer meet my eyes. That just gave me more courage. "Since we were twelve you have made it clear that you only spent time around me because your mom forced you to or because you felt bad for me. You scared away guys by telling them lies about me and then you followed me to a different Res and forced yourself on me. I'm not the one who has a problem telling the truth."

I was so done with this. I turned away from the four people I once knew, caught my brother's eyes and then started walking back home. It only took a few seconds for Devon to catch up to me and his friends followed.

"Wow." One said.

"I've never seen anyone tell Kevin off like that. He is seriously the worst bully in Makah." Another one chimed in.

"Were you serious? Is he the reason you moved away?" Devon asked me anxiously.

"A part of it, yeah." I answered.

"Wow." The first kid repeated again.

I focused on their mild adoration while I tried to regain the feeling in my face. I was so freaked out it took all of my strength not to just collapse on the side of the road. I was angry and frustrated and just tired of it all. I love my family, but was coming back here really worth it if I had to see people like Kevin? At least now Devon would understand better if I didn't want to come.

. . .

That night when we were finishing dinner there was a knock at the back door. Dad opened it and then looked back at me.

"It's for you, Claire." He said.

I got up from the table and went to the door to find Todd waiting there in only his cut offs.

"Hey Claire. I just wanted to check on you. How are things?"

"Fine. Is everything okay? Has something happened to Quil?" I started to panic.

"No, no. nothing like that. Quil did call though, and said he had a feeling you needed some help. Do you know what he meant?" Todd asked.

Devon was suddenly behind me and answered the question. "Yeah, she had a run in with some jerks but she told them off. It was awesome."

"I'm fine." I said.

Todd returned Devon's grin. "Nice. Well, I'm glad you are okay."

"Are you patrolling out here?" I asked, nodding toward his appearance.

"Oh, yeah, well I was on patrol and its just faster to run here. We kind of run a bigger circuit when you are up here." He admitted.

"Oh. Sorry for the extra work." I said.

Todd just shrugged. "No problem. It's a nice change to the usual routine, so I'm not complaining."

"Let Quil know I'm okay, alright?" I said.

"Will do." Todd gave me a little salute and then turned to jog off into the forest.

"Those guys are so cool." Devon said as he kept staring into the darkness where Todd had vanished.

. . .

Quil POV

Two months. That's how long it's been since I last saw Claire. I keep reminding myself that what I'm doing is important and I would hate myself if I hadn't come. But I'm getting bored. Three weeks ago the entire Cullen clan and friends they've gathered moved from Costa Rica to Argentina on a midnight flight. Brady and I have spent all of our time with Jake and Nessie and have only had limited exposure to all the vampires. It's a little stressful to be around so many bloodsuckers and fight my natural instincts to kill them. I know they aren't that comfortable either but we all have a higher purpose here.

Edward the mind-reader and his little psychic sister Alice have determined that there is a small rogue group of the Volturi who are hunting Nessie. We've been able to stay a step ahead for the past six months or so but no matter what we decide to do it seems they are going to catch up soon. So now all the Cullens are finishing collecting their friends to be witnesses and fighters on our side while we do our best to prolong the delay and keep Nessie safe. Jake says everyone will be here within the next two days.

That's when the next phase of our strategy will go into effect. Jake has formed a plan that only we wolves and the two gifted Cullens know about. Nessie and her mom don't even know what we have planned as an extra layer of protection. Everyone is stressed but I'm excited. I'm ready for another change of scene and to get one step closer to an ending to all of this. It's just making me paranoid.

Sharing thoughts with Jake is hard right now because he's so worried about his wife. Not that I blame the guy, but it's draining for Brady and I. We are doing our best to be supportive and positive about the whole situation. Jake knows it and is grateful but there simply won't be any real rest for him, Nessie or the Cullen clan until this is all finished.

I took advantage of this last chance to get a call in to Claire. I wish I could tell her everything, but that would ruin the whole secrecy part. I figure, until it's history, the less she knows the better right now. I hate keeping secrets from her, but this is necessary for everyone's safety.

Brady and I took one the Cullen's awesome cars into the nearest village to use Jake's phone. There is better service there than out in the countryside where the house is, and it's a nice excuse to get out of the house a little. We also go to a different village each time to throw off any trackers just in case they are aware of Brady and I, which is still unknown. We are meant to be a surprise anyway, so we doubt they know about us.

I parked the car (I won the coin toss) in front of a small market. We want to get some more food while we are here and the wad of money Esme slipped me feels odd in my pocket. There is also a small bar down the street where we are hoping to get a little information while the other makes the call home. We go to the bar first.

Carlisle tipped us off that some of the Volturi guard often check places like this to get information about new people in town or odd happenings, so we are using their own tactics against them. Since I got to drive, Brady gets to make his call first so he heads to a secluded spot in the back of the bar while I order some beer and start chatting with the bartender. One other benefit to this whole expedition to help Jake is that I've learned Spanish with the help of the Cullens so I am now tri-lingual. And with my dark hair and skin, and a passable regional accent, I have an easier time gaining the trust of locals than a pale white English speaking American might.

Through simple conversation I'm able to quickly learn that there hasn't been anyone odd or suspicious in town. I pretend to enjoy my beer, but honestly it does nothing for me, and I keep things nice and light while I wait on Brady. He talks to his mom and little sister for about a half hour and then joins me at the bar. We chat for a moment and then I stand up and wander to the back for my turn.

Sam's son Alex answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Alex, it's Quil. Can I talk to Claire?" I asked.

"Quil! Yeah, she's here." He turns from the phone and calls to her and then I hear him clearly again. "How's it going?"

"It's alright. How about you? Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

"No. I asked Stacy out but she just started dating some guy who is only here for the summer. Totally stupid." Alex said in slight disappointment.

"Sorry about that." I said. Then I heard Claire's voice in the background and there was a small squabble for the phone.

"Quil. Hi." She sounded just a little breathless.

"Hi honey." I took a deep breath in relief. Just hearing her voice calmed me right down. "How are you?"

"I'm better now. I'm finally back home in La Push and I'm talking to you. Today is a good day." She said brightly. I love how she calls La Push home.

"That's good. Have you seen Andrea and all your friends?" I asked. Anything to keep her talking so I can hear her voice.

"I saw Andrea yesterday but she's not that happy. She and Cory are fighting again and it's all so stupid. It just makes me that much happier to have you. I mean, we won't have to worry about all the little fights or cheating or all the junk other couples go through. We already know we belong together."

She's so matter-of-fact about it and I could sing. I love that my girl is so sure about us. If only we were actually dating!

"Yeah. We'll be so good together, baby." I crooned to her. Whoa, where did that come from? I've never spoken to her like that before.

Claire caught her breath and there was silence for a moment. I hoped I didn't just cross a line I shouldn't.

"Claire? Are you still on the line?" I asked.

"Yeah, sorry." She kind of squeaked. "Um, yeah, so how are you?"

"Things are all right here. The psychic thinks everything should be wrapped up soon. Man, I hope so. I'm dying to see you again." You have no idea, sweetheart.

"I hope she's right. The twins keep teasing me about how often I stare at photos of you. It's just not the same. I need a Quil hug." She said.

"A 'Quil hug', huh?" I teased.

"Yeah, well, no one else's are good enough." She admitted quietly.

"You just remember that next time Danny or some other twerp asks you out."

"Not a problem." She reassured me. Then she asked about Brady, Jake and Nessie.

We kept talking about the people we know and lots of unimportant things for another half hour or so. I didn't care what we talked about so long as we were talking. I love calling her because it reminds me how wonderful she is and how lucky I am to have her. It's the hanging up that rips my heart out. That's when the countdown begins. Four more days until I can call again. Four more days until I can feel whole for a little while.

. . .

Claire POV

I am not going to forget August 2nd for a long time.

Todd met a really nice girl named Holly who he has been dating for three weeks. She's not his imprint so she can't know his secrets, but she's really nice. I've met her twice. She helps with the kids summer activities at the Tribal Center and asked if I wanted to come check it out one day and maybe work there too. There are only a few weeks left of classes, but it could be fun. Todd worked it out to come with me. He said it was to make sure I would be comfortable, but I think he was looking for an excuse to see Holly.

None of us had any idea what would happen though. It was a Friday and there were only a few kids there for the day camp while their parents worked. Holly showed us all how to weave a simple basket and I was going around helping the kids like she was when I noticed Todd. He had been hovering around Holly for the past hour and she finally talked him into helping out too. He had just moved over to help a ten year old girl when he kind of froze and stared at her. Mostly I noticed that he stopped moving and joking around – he was pretty loud after all.

I quickly finished helping the seven year old boy I was with and went straight to him.

"What is your name?" I heard him ask reverently.

"Brittney. What's yours?" the little girl asked.

"I'm Todd."

That's about when I elbowed him in the side.

Todd reluctantly tore his gaze from Brittney. "What?" he sounded confused.

"What just happened?" I whispered to him. "Did you just do what I think you did?"

Todd looked at Brittney and then back at me, realization slowly dawning on his face. "I think so." He whispered. Like metal drawn to a magnet his gaze returned to the dark haired girl.

"Do you need help?" he asked gently.

I just watched as he patiently worked with her, helping her weave and finish her basket while the others still struggled. I didn't know what to do, or even if I should do anything. I mean, he wasn't a danger to her or anything, but wasn't there something someone should do? What was protocol in the pack when someone imprinted? The pack! I excused myself and went to the phone at the front desk and called Embry. There was no answer at his house and I didn't know how to reach him at work.

I went back into the room where the kids were making their baskets and saw that Todd was quietly talking with Brittney who was smiling at him. Holly was helping two kids sitting at a table together and since all was well I went around checking on the rest of the kids to see if they had questions or needed help. When everyone was finished we had Todd play duck, duck goose with the kids while Holly and I got out cheese and fruit slices for their snack. Next we played some games with the kids until their parents came to pick them up.

When Todd realized what was happening he started to panic and he pulled me aside.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't want her to go!" he whispered urgently.

"Calm down. We just need to find out her last name and who her parents are. She wouldn't be here if she didn't live on the Res, right?" I said.

"Oh, yeah. okay." He calmed down slightly but jumped every time the door opened for the next half hour.

Soon Brittney and another little girl were all that were left. The door opened and a woman in her late twenties bustled in with two more kids in tow. As she looked around the room her eyes fell on Brittney and she smiled, reaching out her hand.

"Time to go Brittney." She said. I could see the family resemblance. The woman had Brittney's same round cheeks and her eyes squinted a little when she smiled.

I looked over at Todd who looked completely shocked.

"Donna?" he asked quietly.

The woman turned to look at him and surprise lit her features as well. "Todd? Wow. I didn't expect to see you here. You haven't changed at all, have you?" she laughed and turned conspiratorially to Holly. "Some people get all the good genes I guess."

Todd rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, looking embarrassed. "So, uh, you know Brittney?" he asked lamely.

"She's my daughter. And this is Cal and Sadie." She pointed to the little boy hiding behind her and the toddler perched on her hip. "You remember Gary, right? I left school because of Brittney and when Gary graduated we got married and then these two came along." She smiled warmly.

"Yeah, I remember when you dropped out. Not that my attendance was much better." Todd grimaced. In the early days the pack wasn't known for their attendance record at school. It was even harder on the really young set like Todd who first phased because of the Volturi the last time Nessie needed protection. They all grew in odd spurts and found it hard to fit in with the regular kids at school. One had even opted for home schooling because it was so hard for him.

"Well, it's nice to see you again. I've got to go make dinner. See you around." Donna smiled and grabbed Brittney's hand when she just stared at Todd. I heard Brittney start to whine as they left the building.

Holly came over to where Todd and I were standing. "So, is she an old friend of yours?" Holly asked.

"We went to school together. She dropped out junior year when she got pregnant. I had the biggest crush on her when I was fifteen." Todd answered in a kind of daze.

Wow. That's got to be weird. He imprinted on the daughter of an old crush. This is going to be interesting to watch.

. . .

Two days later Todd broke up with Holly and came over to the house to get Emily and my help in coming up with ways to see his imprint again. Shortly after he arrived Tyler came into the house crying because he fell off his bike. Emily went off to patch him up and I had a moment with Todd. I was glad because I had so many questions for him.

"Tell me about it." I said.

"Tell you what?" Todd asked.

"Everything. What do you think of Brittney? What's it like for you?" I asked.

"Oh, I get it. You're curious because Quil imprinted on you when you were little. I can assure you, the way I feel about Brittney is way different than how I felt about Holly. My connection to her is bone deep. If I tried to separate myself from my feelings for her there would be nothing left. She is everything."

"Isn't that kind of strange though? I mean you were a happy guy before you met her."

"I can't really explain it. I was happy enough before, but now it's like I know what real happiness is and I never even came close to how good it feels to know Brittney. Gah! I've got to see her again. Will you help me?" he asked.

"Anything you need." I said.

Emily came back to the kitchen with Tyler who now had a bandage on his knee. He grabbed a cookie and ran out the door again. Emily laughed and shook her head.

"So what have you figured out?" she asked.

"I need to find out where Donna and Gary Hobson live." Todd said.

"Oh, I know them. They live two houses down from Kim and Jared." Emily said.

Todd punched the air in triumph. "Yes! I knew I loved you Emily."

Emily just laughed while Todd jumped up out of his seat.

"Okay. When can we go? What do you say Claire? I want you to come with me. You can help me explain to them that I'm a good guy and this is real."

"Whoa, just like that?" I asked.

"Embry said I have to tell Brittney and her parents everything up front. No secrets, no waiting: they should know everything now. And I figure it would be good for them to meet you since you grew up with an imprint and you know me." Todd explained.

"What do you think, Emily? Can we just walk up and knock on their door and drop the bomb?" I asked.

"That's tough. There's no right way to tell an imprint what's happened. You just have to go with what you feel is right." Emily said.

"Emily! Just tell me what to do." Todd begged.

"I can't."

Todd looked to me and bit his lip while he thought. "Will you go on a walk with me, Claire?"

I had no idea what he was thinking, but I nodded. I knew that when it came to the connection between a pack member and his imprint, his instincts were a good guide.

Todd and I walked down the streets of La Push. He was too nervous to talk but we walked side by side and I was there for him. He sped up a little as we got closer to Kim's house. Looking ahead I could see some people outside and I turned to Todd when I realized that was the house we were headed for. He didn't notice me though because Brittney had turned from her little brother and was watching us. I struggled to keep up with Todd until he stopped on their front lawn in front of her. Brittney looked thrilled. The man on the porch looked confused.

"Hi Todd." Brittney said.

The man came down from the porch and approached us curiously. "Todd Akala?"

"Hi Gary. Remember me?" Todd asked nervously.

"Yeah, I do. I'm just surprised." He looked down at his daughter who was staring at Todd and wrinkled his brow. "Donna said you at the tribal center and Brittney hasn't stopped talking about you."

Todd was beaming and staring straight back at the little girl.

"Hi, I'm Claire." I said. "I'm a friend of Todd's."

"Just friends?" Gary asked.

"She's dating my best friend." Todd said although he still didn't look up.

"Oh." Gary said, now starting to look concerned at the exchange going on between Todd and Brittney. They both had huge smiles and didn't seem to be aware of anything but each other.

"So, Gary, is Donna home?" I asked.

"She's inside with our youngest."

"Can we go inside and talk a little?" I asked.

Now Gary looked at me and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "I guess. What's going on?" he asked.

"We can explain everything. But Donna should hear this too." I said. I tugged on Todd's arm and got him to look at me. He shook his head to clear it a little and then looked at Gary.

"I have something cool to tell you about." He told his old class mate.

"Did you find God or something?" Gary asked skeptically.

"No. This isn't about religion. It's actually about tradition and our tribe's history." Todd held his hand out to Brittney and she grabbed it eagerly. They started walking toward the front door and Gary had no choice but to call to his son and follow. I brought up the rear of the group.


	14. Chapter 14

Claire POV

Gary led us into the kitchen where Donna was cleaning up Sadie's late lunch. She smiled when she saw us and then exchanged a curious look with her husband.

"Todd wants to talk to all of us." He told her.

"Oh? What's going on?" Donna asked, now noticing that Brittney was holding Todd's hand.

"Something really cool, actually. But it will take a little explaining. I just ask that you listen to everything first and then Claire and I will try to answer all your questions. Sound good?" Todd said.

Donna looked slightly nervous but nodded to her husband. Gary took a deep breath and then motioned to the chairs around the table. "I guess we better sit down then."

"Thanks." I said as I pulled out a seat next to Todd.

"Are you sure the kids should be here? This sounds serious." Donna asked.

"Oh, yeah. They should love this. Don't worry, I promise everything is okay. But I should also mention that this is kind of secret and you can't just go around telling anyone else about it." Todd answered.

"You aren't making me feel better about having the kids here." Donna pointed out.

"Sorry. This will all make sense soon. But just so you know, I do have the backing of the Tribal Elders, so this is all legitimate." Todd tried to reassure them. He cleared his throat as Gary fidgeted nervously and Donna grabbed his hand to calm him.

"How much do you know about our legends?" Todd asked.

"We were raised on the same bedtime stories you were." Gary said. "We've told a few to the kids. You know, about the spirit walking and the wolf."

"Okay. That's good. Because that's the secret: it's all true." Todd began.

Gary narrowed his eyes as his son started grinning.

"Cool." Cal murmured as he stared at Todd.

Todd looked down at Brittney who didn't look surprised or upset so he continued.

"Do you guys remember back when we were kids, how I got sick and missed a whole bunch of school and then I had some serious growth spurts that everyone wondered about?" Todd asked.

"Vaguely." Donna said. "We were just kids. Anything different stood out, but after a while it didn't matter anymore."

"Yeah, well that's when it happened to me. At the time there were a whole bunch of Cold Ones in the area: vampires. Way back in my family's history we are related to someone from the last pack who protected the tribe. So I grew really fast and my temper got out of control until I changed into a wolf and joined the current pack." Todd said. He paused and let that sink in for a minute.

"I knew you were special. I could feel it." Brittney said quietly from where she sat on the other side of Todd. I leaned forward a little to see her better and she was smiling up at him. He returned her smile as her parents stared at them in shock.

"Are you insane?" Gary found his voice.

"No. I swear it's true. I have really good control now and hardly ever lose my temper. I rarely phase on accident anymore. That's why I didn't come to school for so long – I wasn't good at keeping control and staying human. I couldn't go to school and burst into a wolf in the middle of class or something. It was too dangerous at the time. But that was a long time ago."

"You don't actually expect us to believe this, do you?" Gary asked.

"You shouldn't be saying this around the kids." Donna shook her head, clearly upset that she hadn't protected them from this.

"It's true. I can prove it. We can go outside and I'll change right now if you want me to." Todd offered. "I know this sounds crazy, but I would never lie to Brittney. I just can't."

"Why?" Gary demanded. "Why are you telling us this and why are you interested in my daughter? She's only ten!"

"Whoa. Calm down Gary. I swear I will never hurt her." Todd put his hands up to try and calm his old friend.

"That's why I'm here, I think." I spoke up. Donna looked at me with questions in her eyes, and Gary looked as though he had forgotten about me completely.

"My best friend, Quil, is in the pack too. He's a few years older than Todd and we met when I was two years old. Since that day Quil and I have been connected. Growing up he was like a brother and the best friend I could have ever had. He always supported and protected me, even when it hurt him to do so. I know he will always take care of me and make sure I am happy. It's really an amazing thing. I can't imagine my life without him in it: he's that important to me." I said.

"So, what?" Gary asked and his eyes zeroed in on Todd. "Are you connected to my daughter now?"

"Yes, I am." Todd looked him in the eye as he answered and then his gaze softened and fell to Brittney again. "We call it imprinting. She is the reason I exist."

"Hold on a minute. Is this like a romantic relationship?" Donna asked.

"No!" Todd insisted. "She's just the most important person to me. I will do and be anything she needs me to be. I will protect her with my life and do anything in my power to make her happy and safe."

"What about you and Quil?" Gary asked me shrewdly.

"That is exactly how Quil treated me. I know now that I was so blessed to have him in my life." I said.

"And now? Is he still like a brother to you?" Gary persisted.

"No. Over time my feelings have changed. But we had rules and Quil has always been careful about them. He decided when I was still a child that we wouldn't pursue a relationship until I was eighteen if that was what I wanted. In a few months we'll finally be able to date." I explained to them.

"Isn't this a lot of pressure to put on a little girl?" Donna asked.

"I will never pressure her for anything." Todd said. "I just want to spend time with her and get to know her. If there's any way I can help your family, I would be more than happy to help. I just want a chance to be part of her life."

"Okay, let's step back for a second here." Gary said loudly, waving his hands for our attention. "You say that you can turn into a wolf to protect the tribe from vampires and you have some mystical connection to our ten year old daughter. Is that what I'm supposed to understand here? Because this all sounds crazy. And no offense to you, but I thought you were supposed to be the sane one or something." He pointed at me as he said the last part. He shook his head and stood up. "This is insane. I'm not going to just sit here and listen to this. I know we grew up together but this is too much, Todd. You need to get some help."

"Come outside then. Just you and me." Todd stood as well. "Let me show you and then you can decide what's best for your family. I will promise you now though, that you have nothing to fear from me."

Gary studied him for a moment and then nodded. He walked out the back door and Todd followed. I sat quietly with Donna and the kids as Todd no doubt phased for Gary outside.

We heard a loud cry of surprise and a low whimper. Donna jumped from her seat and rushed out the back door. Everyone but Sadie followed since she was still strapped into her high chair. Gary was slowly backing up toward the house, away from the large black and grey colored wolf that now stood in the center of his lawn next to a pile of clothes. Todd looked at me and let out another whimper.

Gary reached us and turned to Donna, gaping. "He, he, . . . he just _exploded_." He pointed toward Todd who now crouched on the ground to make himself smaller and less threatening.

Brittney took a few steps forward with wide eyes. Donna grabbed at her but she continued on. "It's okay mom. It's just Todd: look at his eyes." She went straight to him and stroked the top of his head. Todd made the odd humming noise the wolves make when they are content.

"It can't be true." Donna just shook her head and tried to hold Cal back as well. His eyes were bright and curious and he looked excited.

"It's okay." I said. "The pack's purpose is to protect the tribe, to defend life. He is perfectly harmless to us."

"He's huge. _That_ is no normal wolf." Gary said, jabbing at the air as he pointed at Todd.

"He's special." Brittney said, still standing beside Todd and petting his fur. "Don't be mad dad. He's so nice. I want to keep him."

Todd chuffed and closed his eyes as he leaned his great head into her side. He looked happy and I was glad for him.

"You can't deny that they have something special." I said, drawing Gary and Donna's attention back to me. Cal finally escaped his mother's grasp and went over to pet Todd as well. "It would be cruel to separate them. Trust me. Quil and I were separated for a few years and we both suffered for it."

"What am I supposed to do? Just say that it's okay for a guy my age to hang out with my little girl?" Gary asked helplessly.

"Yes. Because he is the best thing that will happen in her life." I said with confidence. "I love Quil. He's been like part of the family most of my life. He was almost more strict about rules than my parents were because he wanted what was best for me."

"But you said you were separated. Did he do something wrong?" Donna asked.

"No, he didn't do anything wrong. That's a long story that I will tell you another day. Right now you already have enough to think about." I said.

"You promise we can trust him?" Donna watched me carefully.

"I've known him as long as I've known Quil. He's a good guy. I wouldn't be here to help him otherwise." I said.

Todd carefully stood up so he wouldn't jostle or scare the kids. He grabbed his clothes in his mouth then jogged around the side of the house and reappeared a moment later wearing pants and still pulling his shirt down over his head. He walked toward us by the back door and the kids ran up to stand on either side.

"Wow. I still can't believe this." Gary shook his head. Then he pointed at Todd. "You step out of line just once. . ." he threatened.

"I know." Todd said in acceptance.

. . .

During the next three weeks I ended up splitting my time between chaperoning Todd and Brittney, relaxing with my friends as summer drew to an end, and doing a few family things with the Uleys. I even managed to go back to Makah for a long weekend with my parents and Devon. Alyssa was able to get home as well so we were actually all together for once outside of the Christmas Holidays.

I used all of these things to distract myself from missing Quil. My time with Todd and Brittney was bittersweet because I was happy for them, but I was just reminded that Quil wasn't here. He still called every few days but it was getting harder to say goodbye. He didn't know when the threat would end and he would come home. Not knowing was the worst part. If I knew I had to be patient for another week or even month, I could handle it because then I would know when things could be normal again. As it was now, I still had no idea when I would see him again, no idea when he would hold me again. My birthday was getting closer and I had no guarantee that he would even be back for us to have a first date. I just wanted him to be home and safe again.

My headaches had now returned full force and were turning into migraines again. I played down the pain I was in so I wouldn't worry anyone, but on sunny days it was hard to even keep my eyes open. And I tried to find reasons to stay home in my quiet, dim room.

. . .

Quil POV

I spoke to Claire two days before school started again. I missed the whole summer with her. I didn't tell her that being away from her is starting to take its toll. I don't want to worry her. Only hearing her voice just isn't enough for me anymore. I've got to see her again soon. See her, touch her, hold her: something more than this.

I'm starting to go numb again. I haven't said anything but Jake and Brady have noticed. No one has said anything because there's just no point right now. A few weeks ago the three of us took Nessie away from all the vampires and we are hiding in the Chilean Andes, just across the border. We have little contact with the outside world as a safety precaution, but Jake would never deny my calls to Claire.

I ran several miles away from the hut we are living in to call her. I could have cried when I heard her voice. She is doing well. I think seeing Todd imprint and being there to support him has really helped her. She can understand me even better than before, not that she ever had a problem with that. But it's made everything about our imprint so clear to her. Thank the Spirits for that.

I just hope I can see Claire again soon because I feel like I'm dying a little inside every day now.

When I got back to the hut Jake was tense and pacing the room. Nessie was curled up on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. Brady met me just outside the door and wouldn't come in the hut because he was too amped up.

"What happened?" I asked. This couldn't be good.

"Edward called. The Volturi are there, talking to them at the house in Argentina." Jake said.

"Just talking?" I asked.

"So far. He just wanted us to be alert." Jake answered.

"As if we weren't alert already!" Brady yelled from outside where he was pacing now. "What does he think we are doing out here, partying like it's spring break?"

"That's not what he meant." Jake defended his father in law. "They know nothing about you two. Everyone knows I'll be with Nessie, but you are still a surprise. Edward saw all that in their heads."

"Great. But if there's a fight we'll miss it." Brady complained.

"We're here to protect Nessie. We may not need to fight." I said.

"Yeah, well, we all know you just want to go home." Brady came to the doorway and glared in at me.

It was true. I couldn't argue with him. Not that I was proud of that. I looked away.

"Leave him alone Brady. Can't you see he's suffering?" Nessie cried.

Brady crumpled slightly. "I know. I'm sorry. I just can't stand sitting here and waiting."

"Now that the Volturi are there we may not have to wait anymore." Jake pointed out.

Two hours later Jake's phone rang again. Brady had finally calmed down enough to play poker with me but we dropped the game the second he picked up.

"Yeah. . . okay. . . We'll leave now." Jake said and hung up.

I couldn't catch much from the other end of the line. I think it was Edward, but he was speaking low and fast and I still wasn't used to their quick exchanges on the phone like Jake was.

"What is it?" Nessie asked in a trembling voice. Jake pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's okay baby. Nothing has happened yet but your dad can see it. They aren't going to leave peacefully." Jake looked at Brady and I. "It's Aro, one of the head Volturi, and some of his favorites. He's got a tracker and the twins with special powers along with two others we've not seen before. Aro wants Nessie or blood. Edward and Carlisle are stalling but the fight will happen. He wants us to surprise them from behind."

"We're going back?" Nessie asked.

"Yes. You'll stay back though. Rosalie stayed hidden since Aro arrived and she's heading toward the border to meet us. She will stay with you, away from the fight, so we can do our thing. But she will be able to defend you if someone gets past us. Not that I will let that happen." Jake let her go and went into Alpha mode. He quickly swept around the room grabbing the packs we kept ready to go and rolling up the sleeping bag Nessie had been huddled up on.

"We leave now." He said.

Brady and I moved then, efficiently mirroring Jake's movements like the little army we were. Five minutes later we were running down the mountain back toward Argentina and Nessie's family.

We met Rosalie as planned, received a few last instructions, and phased. Jake kissed Nessie goodbye but he was mostly being driven by his instinct to fight and protect now. As a proper pack we ran down the foothills and across a high mountain plain on the way to the house. We all knew the terrain well from hours of patrolling and getting the lay of the land for a month straight.

We slowed up when we neared the house and saw the Cullens and friends spread out in an informal line facing the small group of Volturi guard. We were behind the enemy which had been the plan all along. We watched and listened carefully as the leader, Aro, demanded one last time that they hand Nessie over to join him.

As Carlisle started to answer again that they wouldn't do it a large member of the Volturi group lunged at Benjamin and Garrett. There was a moment of confusion as the three men started to fight. I saw the South American sisters fall to the ground in front of the little girl named Jane who Nessie told us about. Her brother was concentrating on the Cullen brothers who looked disoriented and Aro was snarling at Carlisle, Edward and his sisters who still looked to be safe under Bella's shield. The Alaskan coven was trying to get to Aro's shield with varying degrees of success. That was when Jake set us loose.

In a blur of speed we joined the fight. I jumped onto Alec and ripped off his arm, freeing up the guys to fight. Jake tore into Aro's shield and Brady went after the tracker who was fighting Ben and Garrett. In one fell swoop we almost obliterated the enemy. A searing pain ripped through my head when Jane turned on me to avenge her brother.

Out of nowhere four more Volturi vampires appeared as the original group was all but destroyed. It seems Aro had a secret up his sleeve too. Two of them went after Brady while the others squared off against Jake who had already ripped half of Aro's robe with his teeth. He spat it on the ground in disgust. I fought through Jane's 'gift' and lunged at her despite the excruciating pain she was sending my way. She didn't know I was used to that kind of thing. I got hold of her leg and Jasper and Emmett appeared and pulled her arms, ripping her in two.

Just after being released from Jane's torture, I felt a new pain. Brady had been momentarily overpowered by the trained fighters who confronted him. His lower spine popped as they tried to pull him apart before our friendly vamps came to his aid. Brady dropped to the ground, unable to move while his attackers were destroyed by the Alaskan and South American covens. Jake got a few good bites in when everyone else converged on Aro. He was the mastermind behind this attack after all and everyone wanted a piece of him. I quickly collected parts, tossing them into a huge pile which Alice then set on fire.

I went to Brady, who was being looked after by Carlisle as the rest of the group finished gathering the parts of the enemy to be burned. Jake ran off to get Nessie, trusting me to watch over our brother for the two minutes he would be gone.

In the chaos of the fight there hadn't really been any coherent thought between the three of us. We let instinct take over and fought like the wolves we were. Now that things were starting to calm down I tried to get a bead on Brady's thoughts.

_It's going to be okay._ I thought even though I felt his pain. He couldn't move and it felt like there was a fire in his spine.

_No. It's not_. Brady thought.

A cold hand on my back jolted me and I looked at Carlisle.

"I need you both to phase. I can't help him this way." He said gently.

_You heard the doc_. I told Brady.

_I can't. I don't feel my legs_.

_You can do this. You've phased a thousand times_. I urged him.

_Carlisle can help. Do what he says._ Jake said he jogged back to us. I looked up to see Nessie embracing her family members.

I cringed as I felt Brady trying to draw himself in and shrink back to his human body. The upper half of his body quivered at the brink of change but he gave up and broke out in a sweat.

Edward came to our little group then and told Carlisle Brady was struggling to change.

Jake and I were at a loss. Even when most of Jake's bones had been broken he was eventually able to phase. He sent memories of it to Brady, acknowledging that it hurt like hell but would help in the end. Brady made several more attempts to phase over the next hour but none were successful and we could feel his energy draining.

_I don't understand_. Jake shook his head.

Then I really looked at Brady and myself through his eyes. Brady was still bleeding from scratches running down his chest. Fresh blood trickled down the side of my head from my ear and the limp I had from one of the blows I received was not getting any better.

Edward crouched down beside me and looked between Jake and Carlisle.

"Emmett and Rosalie went ahead and are prepping the plane. I noticed you weren't healing and thought perhaps going back to your tribal lands may help."

_We're going home?_ I thought numbly.

"Outside of Jake, no one in your pack has spent a significant time away from your ancestral lands. He has the imprint to sustain him. Quil has been deprived of his and Brady is away from family and the land that gives him strength. We are hoping to have you in the air within the hour and back home as soon as possible."

_Thanks_. I lay my head on my paws to rest a bit.

Jake phased out to be with his wife.

I was vaguely aware of people moving and talking around us but I withdrew, pulling into my own head. Brady was panicked and hurting so I thought of home. I pictured the familiar forest, the intense green of home. I thought of First beach and the bonfires. I pictured Brady's mom and sister and I felt gratitude from him though there were no specific thoughts. His mind flickered to Claire and I and then he imagined a few faceless kids in front of my house with us. It surprised me but I was grateful.

_That's your future Quil_. He said.

_You have one too_. I reassured him.

_I've never been able to see it. Maybe I wasn't supposed to._

_What do you mean? Are you just going to give up?_

_It's not about giving up. I'd like to see home again. I just don't feel it. I'm not healing._ Brady said.

_Neither am I._

Brady opened his eyes and looked at me where I lay next to him. He noted my bloody ear and lifted his eyebrows.

_Huh. Maybe the mind reader has a point. You'll be fine once you see Claire._

_And you will too when you see your family_. I said.

A few minutes later Jake came over and knelt beside us.

"The plane is almost ready boys. Now we just have to get you in it. Do you wanna phase, Quil?" he asked.

I looked at Brady. I didn't want to leave him all alone like this. I shook my head.

_Thanks._ Brady said.

"Okay. Brady, we're going to be as careful with you as we can be, but this will probably hurt. Rosalie is a good pilot though and she'll get us back to La Push before you know it." Jake said.

. . .

After they got us on the plane Brady and I slept. Edward sat next to us to make sure we were okay since we were still in wolf form. The entire Cullen family came with us. I slept through the night. Jake woke me up a little after sunrise.

"We are almost there. I called ahead and Emily will have everyone waiting at Brady's house when we get there."

I lifted my head and Edward said the one word on my mind.

"Claire."

"I spoke to her. She's anxious to see you. How are you feeling?" Jake asked.

"Like I got hit by a truck." Edward said for me. Jake chuckled.

"I bet you do. Just wait. You'll be good as new a few minutes after you see her. I know it."

I turned my head toward Brady. He was dreaming of the forest; running through the endless green. I saw Carlisle watching us from a seat in the plane. He was probably concerned that he couldn't help us. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward nod.

_It's not his fault. I know he's a good doc._ I thought. Edward gave me a tight smile.

We landed and taxied into a private hangar. Brady failed to phase yet again and he was getting weaker. He refused to eat despite the large amount of food the Cullen's brought on the plane for us. My appetite was diminished but I had gotten some food down at least. Edward and I monitored Brady while the men carefully moved him into the back of a van with tinted windows. Esme had quickly arranged blankets and pillows in the open space to keep Brady both comfortable and stable. Carlisle arranged the pillows around his filthy furry body so he wouldn't roll or shift during the drive. When that was done and he was as secure and comfortable as we could make him Jake told me to shift. He handed me some clothes from my pack and I dressed despite the aches in my body.

Carlisle descended on me the moment I was human and clothed. We got into a second van with seats and he took my vitals and talked to me while we drove. I eagerly took in the familiar landscape out the windows and kept gulping down great breaths of the salty air. It just felt right. Emmett and Edward sped us down the road and soon we entered La Push. I felt a surge of energy pulse through me. This was my land. I didn't even mind Esme fussing at my side, trying to clean my face and tidy my matted hair a bit now that my ear stopped bleeding.

We pulled up in front of Brady's mom's little house and I could see her. Claire glanced between the two dark vans anxiously, not knowing where I was. My heart thudded at the sight of her and her eyes locked on my van. I was out the door before Emmett could put it in park. I swept Claire into my arms and held her so tight. She wrapped her arms around my neck and clung just as tightly. I could feel her body shake as she cried. I breathed deep and felt whole again. She was my home.

Claire turned her head to kiss my cheek and gasped.

"You're bleeding!"

"I'm okay now. All I needed was you." I said into her hair as I held her close. She smelled so good and it felt right to have her in my arms. She was all I would ever need again.

"I missed you so much." She said. It was music to my ears. I couldn't speak. I just squeezed her tighter.

A cry to my left drew my attention away from Claire for a moment and I remembered Brady. His mother Linda, and little sister Christina were beside him crying. His mother was holding one of his giant paws and his sister's hands fluttered above him, looking for a safe place to touch him. I became aware of my surroundings again but didn't release my hold on Claire.

"He hasn't been able to phase since he was hurt yesterday." Jake was telling the group gathered around our vans. "We think it's his back."

Several people in the group gasped. I saw that everyone from the pack, past and present, was there with their mates and families. Emily and Kim were crying, the men's faces were set and grim.

"He isn't healing. We thought bringing him home would be his best chance." Edward said. He was greeted by nods and murmurs of agreement.

Embry appeared beside me and patted my back roughly.

"Good to see you again." he said and nodded to Claire as well.

"It's good to be back." I said.

"Was it a bad fight?"

"I'll tell you everything soon. Two of the leeches got a hold of Brady though." I said.

Embry nodded gravely. "I should have gone instead."

"You couldn't. You made the right call." I said.

"Quil is right." Jake said, approaching us. "Brady wanted the fight. He's been going crazy waiting for it."

"We're so grateful for his help." Bella told Linda about her son.

"He wanted to be there." Edward said from his position near Brady. "He wants you to know that."

"Is he in pain?" Christina asked.

"It's less now. He is relieved to be home and is happy to see you again. He was holding on for you." Edward said for our friend.

"Holding on? But he can't die. The wolves heal too quickly." Linda protested.

"Perhaps not under normal circumstances, but his situation for the last few months has not been normal. And his injuries are severe." Edward said patiently but not without sympathy.

"Well he's home now." She responded firmly. "He will be fine."

. . .

Edward and Carlisle Cullen stayed until Brady was able to phase late that night. Most everyone else dispersed an hour after our return. Jake and Nessie remained with Claire and I. Occasionally Edward would update us on Brady's thoughts or state of mind. He was resigned and peaceful. Edward pulled Jake and I aside to tell us that Brady expected to die and was at peace with it. Neither of us took this information well.

Those were a few of the rare moments I spent not touching Claire. From the moment we were reunited we had been hugging or holding hands at the very least. Even when we ate some food that Emily came back with and insisted we all eat, I ate using my left hand so I wouldn't have to break contact with my imprint. I wasn't about to be away from her for very long if I could help it.

Around midnight Brady finally phased human. He was weak and hurting and I think it took all of his energy to do it. Thankfully, being home had helped him a bit but he still wasn't healing at a proper rate. Edward and Carlisle shared a frown as the doctor examined my pack brother. Edward whispered so that only Jake and I could hear that Brady's back was still broken and the feeling he had regained in his arms was fading again. Jake and I left him with words of encouragement and carefully touched his head or shoulder. Claire and Nessie both left him a kiss on the cheek and we retreated to give Linda and Christina some time alone with Brady.

An hour later our brother was gone.

* * *

**A/N: please don't hate me. I have nothing against Brady, its just that in wars and fights between supernatural beings there are losses - and not only on the bad side. That's why it took me so long to get this chapter up. I fought to keep Brady in some way but it just wasn't meant to be in this story.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you to Katmom, Tianmayblack, Kanga, Hollywoodab, CrazyMuggleborn44, daydreamer357, and Tylah-Jane who reviewed – you guys rock!**

Quil POV

I knew when Brady died because Edward's face crumpled and he looked like he was in pain. He turned his golden eyes on Jake and I in sympathy.

"I'm so sorry." He said.

Then we heard the crying from behind Brady's closed door. Pain washed over us and Claire clutched at my shirt as she began to cry as well. Grief overwhelmed me and for the first and only time I pushed Claire away. I squeezed her tight first and apologized as I pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I can't. . . I have to go." I said.

Jake was making a similar retreat. He followed me as I rushed out the back door and phased mid-step. An ear-shattering howl burst from me at the loss of our brother. Jake's howl was in harmony with my own. We didn't share thoughts but ran together through the forest and to a cliff's edge overlooking the sea. The wind carried our howls of mourning through the dark night.

. . .

Claire POV

I was surprised and hurt when Quil ran off after Brady died. I just wanted to hold onto him as I cried for my friend and his brother. My tears stung bitterly as they coursed down my cheeks.

"Don't be angry. It's how they need to cope." Edward told Nessie and I softly as we stared at each other in the absence of our wolves.

I often get headaches when I cry, so I wasn't surprised when my head began pounding with the combination of Brady's death and Quil's departure. I pressed my hands to my eyes as the familiar pain seared behind my eyes. I heard voices talking around me and tried to focus on them: Carlisle spoke on his phone with Sam, Edward whispered to Nessie.

Then I felt a soft hand cradling my cheek. I opened my eyes enough to squint at Nessie. She smiled sadly before projecting images of the last few months with Quil and Brady. It was like a montage of moments that I could feel represented what they had been doing while they were away. I saw the houses they stayed in, the places they traveled, the easy friendship Jake shared with his pack. I saw them practice fighting with her uncles, then they were passed out and snoring on beds and couches. I almost wanted to laugh. Nessie focused on Quil for a minute, showing how he looked before, during and after phone calls with me; how he had grown steadily sadder, and finally how he hadn't noticed an injury while wrestling with Jake in human form. This made me sad. Then she showed me how excited Brady was when they got the call that the fight was going to happen. She showed me their resolve before the fight and how focused they had been – ready, willing and able to do their job. She showed me how wolf-Quil had stayed beside his brother after the fight, refusing much more than food and sleep until they landed here.

And I knew what she wanted me to see – their brotherhood and connection. How I was grieving for a man I had grown up with, someone I had known all my life, but Quil was grieving so much more. This was his brother, his pack-mate, and a man who would give his life for his brothers and tribe just as they would do for him. Their bond was barely less than my bond with Quil. I know I would be destroyed if Quil died and he was feeling a pain similar to that.

"Thank you Nessie." I gently pulled her hand from my face and squeezed her fingers. "I've missed Quil so much."

"He missed you. I'm sorry we took him away for so long." She said.

"It wasn't your fault." I reassured her and we shared sad smiles. "I am just glad he is home now."

Edward came over to us then. "We need to be going now, Nessie. Claire, we will drop you off at home on our way. Quil will know to find you there when he is ready."

"Thank you." I said, and followed them out to the remaining van.

. . .

In the morning I woke up with a slight headache and a lump in my chest when I remembered what happened the night before. Still in my pajamas, I went down to the kitchen to eat something. Emily and the kids were there already, quietly eating pancakes. Emily came to me with red eyes and hugged me tightly. A sob caught in my throat as I was enveloped in her motherly embrace.

"I know, Claire." She murmured and hugged me tighter. "Edward told Sam that he was at peace when he went. He died a true Quileute warrior."

I nodded mutely into her shoulder and she released me.

"Eat something and he will be down in a minute." She instructed, pointed to two empty seats next to Alex.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"He looked terrible." Kara said while her twin nodded.

"He and Jake were running all night and he was a mess." Alex added around a mouthful of food.

"Stinky." Was Tyler's contribution.

"Sam got him into the shower and will have to lend him some clothes. I just hope he will eat a little before he passes out. Seeing you should help." Emily said.

"Quil is here?" I asked.

"More or less." Sam said as he walked into the room looking rather haggard himself. He shook his head as he sat down and filled a plate. "Brady is the first one of us to die. We all feel it."

For a minute it was hard to focus on my family and the food. Quil was upstairs in the shower. Inappropriate thoughts flooded my mind and for the first time in months I thought about Quil in a romantic light. I've pushed away similar thoughts for so long because it was part of a distant future that seemed even more remote for the last few months. But now he was home again: he was here and in just over four months I would be eighteen. He wouldn't be off-limits anymore.

I heard some snickering to my left and I realized I was blushing. I elbowed Alex and busied myself with my breakfast.

"I called and got you excused for your first day of school." Sam said. "With everything that's happened over the last two days I didn't think you would be able to focus on school today. Tomorrow will be the funeral but after that you will have to go. It's your senior year, after all, and you are going to graduate."

"Of course. Thanks for getting me out though." I said and kept eating.

I was almost finished when Quil slowly came down the stairs to join us. He didn't say anything but came straight to me and sat down. He picked up my hand and kissed it before leaning his head onto my shoulder. He took a long slow deep breath. I felt his arm slip around my back and he slid from his chair onto his knees and hugged me, keeping his face buried in my hair. His shoulders shook as he cried and I turned my body slightly to return his hug better. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tight. I felt his hands clutch at my waist, grabbing onto the bottom of my pajama top.

Sam and Emily shooed the kids out of the room since they were done eating anyway and left us some privacy.

With one hand I rubbed Quil's back to soothe him. "Shh. It's going to be okay. I know it hurts."

"I'm so sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have left you last night, but I just couldn't stay human. I can't explain it. I just felt too much." Quil said.

"Don't apologize. I understand. It's okay." I tried to reassure him. "I'm sorry too. Brady was a good man."

Quil nodded against my shoulder. "He was. I'm sorry he's gone, but I'm relieved too. I'm glad I wasn't taken away before we really had a chance. And then I feel guilty, like it should have been me instead of him. He was still so young."

"No! Don't talk like that. You can't go anywhere for a very long time." I insisted. "You still owe me a Valentine's date."

"Future plans. I have a future. That's what he told me. He even showed me our kids. He didn't have any plans, any future. I am so lucky to have you Claire."

"I'm lucky to have you." I said back and held him tighter. And I felt that way too. I was so lucky he wasn't injured worse, or killed. There weren't words to tell him how happy I was that he was home safe and here in my arms this moment.

So I didn't say anything. I just held him and told him I loved him while he worked through his grief. I closed my eyes and focused on the feel of his strong warm body pressed against mine, noticing how our breathing naturally found the same rhythm.

If anyone came into or left the house I wasn't aware. I just knew Quil was here and he was mine. That's all that matters.

. . .

Quil went home late that night to sleep in his own bed again. We had spent the whole day together just talking. I admitted to having headaches again and he told me about the slow loss of feeling. We agreed that neither of us ever wants to have to experience those things again. He told me all about living with the Cullens and the places they saw that he would like to show me one day if we ever have money to travel. It was the best day I've had in months.

In the morning I helped Emily get the kids all ready for the funeral. Sam was quiet and really only responded to Emily. We all made our way to the burial grounds where the Tribal Elders presided over the funeral. Quil was waiting for me there and came to my side the moment we arrived. All of the pack members shared memories about Brady and gave their respects to Linda and Christina. Brady was given the honor due a warrior who served the tribe. We all cried together and reminisced about our friend before departing. Quil and I walked back to the Uley house hand in hand, speaking occasionally.

We were together the rest of the day until Emily chased him away so I could rest before school the next day. After he left I found myself sitting in the quiet kitchen with Emily while we drank some hot chocolate together. It was something that warmed and calmed me nicely before bed.

"So you and Quil seem . . . close." Emily said, watching me carefully.

"I missed him."

"It's more than that. The kiss before he left, that wasn't only about him leaving, was it?" she guessed.

"No. I'm ready for the next step. It's going to be hard to wait until my birthday to actually date him. Is it weird that I feel so strongly? I mean, it didn't take you and Sam long to get serious." I said.

"We had a different situation than you and Quil, but no, it's not weird. I'm not surprised you are attracted to him."

"Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but it's hard watching him leave at night." I told my mug. When I dared to glance up at Emily she just smiled softly.

"It's perfectly normal to feel that way. And one day, when you live together you won't have to say goodbye at night. And it's a wonderful thing. Just make sure you are ready before you take that kind of step." Emily advised.

"I will." I nodded and sipped my hot chocolate.

. . .

Quil POV

I hate school. Not because I have to go anymore, but because Claire does and it cuts into the time I can spend with her. I went back to work to fill my time and my wallet. I confess though, that I spend the whole time counting down until I am off and can go to Claire's house. She's great though and does her best to get her homework done as fast as possible so we can have plenty of time together.

Being away from her again this summer brought everything into sharp focus for me. I love her and would spend every waking moment with her if I could. The image Brady sent me of Claire and I at my house with our own family is always at the back of my mind. I want that so bad. Then I remember that we haven't even been on a real date yet and I could pull my hair out. How long will I have to wait for that future?

Not that I mind waiting if I can spend a lot of time with Claire. I know, I know, I sound like a broken record. But she really is _it_ for me.

Okay, time to go pretend you have a life, Ateara.

. . .

Jake and the Cullens spent a month in Seattle after we came back from Argentina. Nessie fell in love with Brittney, Todd's imprint, just like Claire did. It's really nice to see them all together and Brittney's family is getting more used to us all. It is great seeing Todd get all dopey and gooey-eyed like the rest of us for a change. Now Embry is the only wolf left without an imprint. He feels it too and I honestly hope his dream girl shows up soon.

It was a blast having Jake around again though and we probably had more rained out pack get-togethers in houses all over the Res than we've had any other fall. Then October hit and the Cullens moved off to their next new adventure in Africa. Jake promised to tell me if he gets to take on a lion. Before he left he made me promise to make one or two investments Alice tipped him off on so I can take better care of Claire in the future.

The cold weather brought bigger school projects for Claire and of course led up to the holidays. She took me home for Thanksgiving and I didn't mind sleeping on the couch for three nights because I was in the same house as Claire and could hear her heartbeat at night. Her family came out to La Push for Christmas again and we had a great time. I got myself through Christmas and New Years without kissing Claire by counting down toward her birthday.

For example: on Christmas Eve I was hanging out at the Uleys with them, Claire, Devon and their parents. We had a great dinner, made by some of my favorite women in the world, then we hung out singing all the Christmas carols we could think of and playing board games. It was pretty fun. Then things wound down, the little kids went to bed and all the old people (this doesn't include me by the way) decided they were tired and went up to bed as well. Alex conveniently lured Devon away to play a video game in his room and Claire and I were left alone, cuddled up on the couch in front of the lit up Christmas tree with the rest of the lights off.

I mean, come on! I don't exactly need someone to spell out to me how romantic that kind of thing is to Claire. And boy, did I want to make it perfect and seal the deal with a kiss. But I was a good boy and settled for cuddling with my arm wrapped around her shoulders and chanting to myself: 24 days. 24 days. Just 24 days. That's all. I can wait 24 days. That's less than a month, right? It's so close. And she looks so good tonight. I remember how soft her lips are. Her skin glows in the soft lighting from the tree. No one is going to come back in here. Man, my imprint is gorgeous! If I just lean a little to the right. . . 24 days! 24 days.

24 days.

I don't even want to think about New Years. Embry and Todd caught onto my counting game while on patrol though and I asked them to intervene if I looked like I was going to get myself in trouble. I should not have asked for their help. They turned it into some messed up game of keep away and wouldn't let me within five feet of Claire all night. She knew something was up but every time I tried to talk to her someone came up and interrupted and pulled one of us away with some nonsense about 'you have to see what so-and-so did with twine, dominoes, and a turkey leg'. Again: don't ask.

And that's how I fumbled my way through December and somehow made it to January. Just in time for Emily to start giving me the evil eye and asking awkward questions.

"So, Claire's birthday is coming up. Do you have any special plans?" she cornered me on January first.

"I wrapped Claire's present this morning after she left for school. Would you like me to wrap yours too?" she asked on the fourth.

"I was thinking about food for Claire's party. . ." was how she began a crazy long monologue about the benefits of buffet style vs. formal sit-down dinners for large groups of people on the 9th.

My count-down was bad enough without her help. And of course I had a present for Claire! I've been waiting sixteen years for this day – how could I not be prepared? All Emily did was make me more nervous. Claire is amazing and she deserves the best of everything. So I started thinking about how she could do better than me. She could go off to college, find a great career and marry a doctor or some rich philanthropist or something and make a life for herself. What do I have to offer her really? I'm devoted to her for life and I will love her with everything that I am, but will that be enough? I don't have anything else to give her. And life on the reservation is pretty simple. Will she be happy being stuck here with me?

All of Emily's questions, well meant as they might be, only made me doubt myself more each day as I continued to count down to what could be the beginning of my future life with Claire. And I felt miserable about it. I did my best to hide this from everyone, even my pack-mates, but Embry noticed that something was wrong.

A week before Claire's birthday he popped into my head while I patrolled in the snowy forest.

_How's it going brother?_ Embry asked.

_Okay, I guess. Is something wrong? I don't smell anything. I thought we were patrolling alone these days._

_I just wanted to talk to you and this way I'm not keeping you away from Claire or anything else._ He said.

_Alright. What do you need to talk about?_ I asked, starting to feel nervous. I wasn't going to get a lecture was I?

_No. I don't need to say anything about your relationship with Claire. I'm not about to set any rules about that_. He hesitated a moment as we ran silently through the snow. _You know I respect how you've always handled that situation, right? I mean, I know it hasn't been easy for you to wait so long for her to grow up and I'm glad you can finally be together soon._

_Thanks._

_I just wanted to make sure you are okay. You seem a little down, and I guess, I'm here if you need to talk_. Embry offered.

_Huh?_ I had no idea what to say to him.

_Well, is anything bothering you? I don't mean to be all touchy-feely or anything, but I can listen if you need to get anything off your chest._

_You've been watching those daytime talk shows again, haven't you?_ I teased. _You really need to get a girlfriend_.

_Fine!_ He huffed. _Don't say I never tried to do something nice for you_. Embry started to turn away, no longer running beside me.

_I'm sorry. Wait_. I came to stop and sat on the ground. _You're right. I'm worried about Claire._

_What's wrong with her?_

_Nothing. It's me. I'm not good enough for her. She deserves more_. It was the first time I had admitted this out loud. Well, almost out loud anyway.

_Maybe, but she wants you._

_Which makes me the luckiest man alive. I just don't want her to miss out on something better_. I said.

_Do you love her?_ Embry asked, looking me in the eye.

_Yes._

_Does she love you?_

_Yes._

_Then stop worrying_. Embry concluded. _Seriously think about this: will anyone ever take better care of her than you will?_

_No._

_There you go. Stop worrying and just enjoy this. You have a beautiful girl who loves you. In a few days you can start dating her and before you know it you'll be married with a few kids filling up the house. Just pray that they look like Claire and not you. . ._

_Shut up_. I pushed him with my shoulder and he hopped to the side, trotting in a little circle back to me.

_Really. It's all okay. You're lucky, you know._ And I felt his pain at still being alone.

_It'll happen for you too._ I assured him.

_Sure, sure._ Embry started to walk again and I joined him. Then he asked suddenly with a wolfish grin, _So, how many days?_

_Seven_. I replied without even thinking.

Embry just laughed at me.

. . .

Claire's birthday fell on a Friday. She had school and I kept myself busy at work. When I finally got off at five I hurried home and showered, taking extra care to get all the grease and grime off my hands. I wore a new pair of jeans Claire had picked out for me and a black button-up shirt. I wanted to make a good impression tonight so I actually took a minute to check myself in the mirror and make sure I looked decent. Then I grabbed my keys and Claire's gift from my dresser and drove over to the Uley's house for the party.

A few days ago I offered to help Emily set everything up for the party but she shooed me away saying she would handle it. When I drove up to the house there were already several cars in the driveway. I went inside and saw that everyone else was already there. I got there exactly at 6:30 just like Emily told me to! I said hi to Mark, Sally and Devon. Then I chatted for a few minutes with the guys and their families. Todd even brought Brittney and she looked really excited. She and Claire had gotten really close and their friendship was really sweet. Oh man, I am whipped. I just thought something was sweet.

I saw Sam in the kitchen with Emily. She gave me a huge smile and Sam just winked. What the heck? Well, I guess I should be grateful he isn't ready to rip me apart since he knows I plan on dating Claire after today.

Speaking of Claire, she was the only person missing. Emily came over to me as I glanced at the stairs, wondering if she was still upstairs.

"She's putting on a new outfit I gave her this afternoon. I cheated and gave her my present early. I just couldn't wait." Emily said.

"Okay. Will she be down soon?" I asked anxiously.

"I think so." Emily still had a smile plastered to her face. I know she likes parties and all, but this was a bit much, even for her.

The sounds around me changed and I turned to see what was going on. Claire came down the stairs in a new pair of jeans and silky black top that accentuated her curves just right. Oh man. How did Emily expect me to last the night without grabbing Claire and making a run for a quiet secluded place where I could have her all to myself?

Claire smiled at everyone but came straight toward me. I hugged her tight. "You look amazing." I murmured into her ear as she gave me an extra squeeze.

"You too." She said and she pulled back.

"Oh, they match!" Brittney oohed. The rest of the crowd laughed and I was reminded that I had to share this goddess with everyone else.

A flash pulled my attention from Claire and I saw that Sally had taken our picture. Her eyes were a little misty as she looked at us. She stepped closer and hugged Claire.

"You look so beautiful. I can't believe how grown up you are." Sally said to her.

"Thanks mom."

"The cake is ready!" Emily announced. "Let's have the birthday girl come over and blow out the candles so we can get to the presents."

"We aren't having dinner?" Claire asked. "You wouldn't let me eat anything earlier and I'm starving."

"Don't worry. Just come over here." Emily guided her over to the counter and nicely decorated cake with her name on it. "This is a big day. You have two families who love you so much, as well as the pack and all the friends you've made. We are so proud of you and the woman you've become." She started to get teary and Sam placed a hand on her shoulder for support.

"Thanks Emily." Claire hugged her again.

"Let's set this thing on fire." Alex said a little too eagerly. I swear he's a closet pyromaniac.

Claire grabbed my hand and pulled me over beside her while Sam lit the candles on the cake. We all sang and Claire blew out the candles easily. Everyone cheered and then we moved to the couches to have Claire open her presents while Kim and Rachel cut the cake and put it on little paper plates. Claire smiled and thanked everyone as she opened some gifts cards and home-made trinkets from the kids.

I was expecting more to be handed to her when everyone seemed to look at me. Claire watched me expectantly. I held out the square box in my hand and she took it with a shy smile. I watched her slender fingers pull off the ribbon and silver wrapping paper. She opened the lid and pulled aside some tissue paper to reveal the gift.

"It's an antique silver sugar bowl." I wanted to explain. "Today is really special because I've known you for sixteen years and I was having a hard time finding the right gift. I ended up on a website about anniversaries and for the sixteenth it said the traditional gift was silver stuff for the table, like creamers or pitchers or whatever but then I found this and thought maybe you could use it as a jewelry box or something since you don't need it for a table or anything. . ." and I suddenly felt like a complete idiot. The gift I thought had been adequate seemed totally stupid and I was sure she would hate it.

I reluctantly looked up, afraid of what I would see. Claire was holding the silver bowl and smiling. "It's beautiful." She turned it and looked at the flower design that ringed the bowl and she heard a small _thunk_. She opened the lid and found the tiny green teardrop earrings I placed inside. She gasped and lifted them out to look closer. "Oh Quil."

"They are peridot – it's the gem for the sixteenth anniversary." I told her.

"Wow." Devon said from behind Claire. I finally looked up beyond her and saw that everyone else was watching us, speechless. Several people had their mouths open in shock or something and I suddenly felt embarrassed.

Claire threw herself toward me and hugged my tightly around my neck. "I love them, thank you so much."

I finally relaxed now that I knew I hadn't messed up her most important birthday to date.

"Now it's time for the last present." Mark spoke up. We all looked to him and he beckoned for Claire to join him. She stood up beside him and he put an arm around her. "Claire, this is a special day for a lot of reasons. So it requires a very special, different kind of gift. Quil," he turned to me and pulled me to my feet. He clapped something thick and papery into my hand with a smile. "Just follow the directions and don't be afraid to spend whatever she wants. Have fun."

"What?" I looked down at my hand to see a wad of bills folded into a sheet of paper.

"What is it?" Claire asked.

"Your first date." Sally said. "We gave you a little help by planning it out though. I hope we did a good job."

"Are you serious?" I could hear the excitement in Claire's voice.

"Well, it was either that or watch you two stare longingly at each other all night." Paul drawled. "We'll save you some cake."

"Go on." Kim urged. "Claire is hungry."

I looked at Claire. There were no words. And honestly, I don't think anyone expected us to know what to say. So I grabbed Claire's hand and started for the door. "Thanks guys!" I helped her put on her coat and practically ran out to my car while everyone inside laughed.

. . .

Claire POV

I was so happy. This had to be my best birthday yet. Not only did Quil give me a beautiful and thoughtful gift, but then everyone we know and love sent us out on our first date. Quil practically dragged me out to his car once he was told what was going on and I followed happily. He started the car and then looked at our instructions, still clutched in his hand.

"What does it say?" I asked.

"It just says 'feed her, doofus'." He said. "Okay then. What do you want eat? You can have anything."

I had to think for a moment. "I don't want to wait for the drive to Port Angeles, so let's go to the diner in Forks."

"Are you sure? It's not very fancy or anything." Quil looked concerned.

"I'm _starving_ Quil. Take me to the diner."

"Whatever you want." He put the car in drive and we were off.

I was so excited that I couldn't hold still. Quil noticed my jiggling knee and grinned at me. "Are you nervous?" he asked.

"No; just excited." I answered and he chuckled.

"Me too." He slipped the instructions into his pocket and reached out for my hand. I felt better with his burning hand wrapped around mine.

"So, you had no idea they were planning this?" I asked.

"None. I planned on asking you out before I left for the night, so I had no idea we would get our first date tonight."

"Really? You were going to ask me on a date?" I was excited and relieved to know he wanted the same things I did.

"Of course! I haven't waited this long to sit around wasting time." He said.

We drove in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Quil shook his head and chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"They probably knew I would over think things and stress about what to do on our first date, so they decided to take the pressure off of planning it."

"Would dating me be stressful?" I asked.

"No. It's not because of you, or at least, not because you are hard to be around. I've just been waiting so long for this, I would have tried too hard to make sure it was perfect. But it turns out this is perfect, because I am always happy spending time with you no matter what we do." Quil smiled and lifted my hand in his to kiss it.

Okay, if I liked the attention Quil gave me before, then this was heaven. His touches were soft and natural and I was so grateful there was no awkwardness between the two of us. He wouldn't have been the only one stressing if there had been time to wait and wonder how this date would go. He was right: being shoved into it like we were was the best thing because being together was perfect for us.

We arrived at the diner and ate a nice meal. Quil only mentioned once that he would have done something fancier with more notice and I assured him that I was fine. I ate my favorite dish and we shared some chocolate silk pie for dessert. Quil made sure I had as much as I wanted before he finished it off. While we were waiting for dessert I saw him steal a glance at our instructions and count the money. I didn't mind though, because this was an adventure for both of us and he needed to know what he was dealing with.

We left the diner and got back in the car. Quil started driving through the cold winter night and I asked where we were going next. He just grinned at me and held my hand again. At the far end of town we drove into a neighborhood clear down to the last house on the street. There were several cars parked on a grassy strip just past the house and I could see lights through a thin stand of trees. Quil parked next to the other cars and got out. He opened my door and I got out, pulling my coat and scarf tight around my body against the cold. I pulled my gloves out of the coat pockets and slipped them on as well.

Straight ahead was a small shack where a man sat in front of a space heater. I could hear the hum of a generator behind him. In the distance I heard voices and laughter. I gave a questioning look to Quil who just shrugged and smiled. The man greeted us and Quil paid him to let us in. He gave us a few instructions about being careful not to slip on the walkway and not to climb or break anything. A group of five people walked out past us, all smiling. I was beyond curious now about what lay inside the trees.

Quil took a paper the man handed him and we set off down a short path of crushed ice lined with footlights. I slipped my arm through Quil's so I wouldn't fall on the slippery surface. Up ahead the light grew brighter and we broke through the trees into an icy wonderland. The path led between two towers of what looked like frozen waterfalls, the cascades caught in a moment in time and preserved. I stopped just inside this portal and gasped at the sight before me. There was a large ring of these ice waterfalls in a clearing, all backlit and glowing white and blue. In the center of this ring was a thirty foot tall castle, complete with a grand entrance directly ahead of us which disappearing into the glowing blue depths of ice.

"What is this?" I asked breathlessly.

"Ice castles." Quil answered and held up the paper the man gave him. I took it and read the brief description about the man who made them. It was apparently a hobby of his every winter and he traveled to different communities every year. This time he was visiting a distant cousin who owned this property.

"Wow." Was all I could say. We spent the next hour wandering around admiring the unique structures and the natural colors that glowed within them. There was a tunnel inside the central castle that split in two directions, giving different views of the inside of that colossal ice structure and we explored each path several times. We also took time on the outside, commenting on how different each of the smaller towers were which created this amazing little ice world. I just kept saying 'wow' because no other words came to me. But it was spectacular.

Finally Quil noticed that I was starting to shiver and he insisted that we go. I required that we make one last quick trek through the castle on our way out and we did so. Then Quil got me in the car and started up the heater full force as quickly as he could.

"Come here." He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled my close to him inside the parked car while the engine slowly warmed up. He pulled my gloves off, clasping my hands inside his own to warm them and I pressed my cold face against the warm skin of his neck.

"You are so lucky you don't get cold." I said.

"It comes in handy sometimes." He said with a chuckle. "I really don't mind it in moments like this. It gives me an excuse to hold you close."

"You don't need an excuse, you know." I told him.

Quil pulled back just a little so he could look my in the eye. "That's good to know." He said quietly and leaned closer. My heart sped up as his lips met mine and he kissed me.

It was so nice to kiss him freely, not worrying about getting caught or in trouble because someone didn't approve. We had no reason to stop now and I was so glad. Being close to Quil was where I belonged and we had waited far too long for this.

After a few minutes of kissing Quil I was thoroughly and happily warmed up. We laughed when we saw that all the lights were turning off in the ice castles and the man was closing up his little shack. I guess we had been here longer than I thought! I just grinned stupidly at Quil who returned my huge smile. He looked the most relaxed and happy I had seen him since he left for Costa Rica.

"So, is there anything else on the list?" I asked.

He pulled the now crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. "Tell me how I did." He said.

I looked at the short list which was clearly written by several people all together, complete with notes:

Feed her, Doofus_ – _**and don't eat all of her food!**_ Make sure she gets dessert. Girls like that. _And don't eat it all_._

_Pay for dinner – that's what part of the money is for. _We're trusting you_._

_Take her to see the ice castles. _Trust us._ Keep her warm – _**but not too warm**_. (followed by written directions and a poorly sketched map in the margin)_

_Have a little fun, _**but not too much**_. And give her a _**respectable**_ kiss good night._

I recognized Emily and Sam's handwriting gave the most direction with a few notes added by others. I just had to laugh.

"They should give you more credit. But they did plan a nice date."

"So, do you think they'll approve? Will Sam let me take you out again?" Quil furrowed his brow and pursed his lips. "Maybe we shouldn't mention warming you up just now." There was a twinkle in his eye that made me giggle.

"It doesn't matter if they approve. I'm eighteen now."

"Good point." Quil nodded in approval. Then he leaned in for one more kiss. "I ought to get you home though. Emily will want to hear all about the date."

"You know my aunt well. My mom may still be there too. Yeah, let's go and get this over with. I want to get some sleep tonight."

Quil started the car and we drove home holding hands. I was so happy as I leaned back in my seat and watched my boyfriend drive us home. Wait.

"Quil, are you my boyfriend now?" I asked.

"That depends – do you want me to be?"

"Yes."

Quil's smile got impossibly bigger. "Good."

And it was that simple. We were finally an actual, legitimate couple.

When we got back to my house Quil got out and walked me to the door. He pulled me close for a hug and whispered in my ear. "No one knows I've already done the last item on the list." He pulled back with a smirk.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I teased and rose up on my tiptoes to get closer to him. He leaned down, closing the distance and kissed me softly, sweetly. It was the perfect end to our first date.

As predicted, Emily and my mom were waiting up for us. Sam was even lurking in the kitchen trying to look like he wasn't listening. I quickly gave them a summary of the date, assuring them that Quil was a gentleman and didn't eat all of my food. I told them the ice castles were spectacular and asked who had known about them. Emily told me it was Kim's suggestion because she and Jared had found them by accident a week ago.

After half an hour I gave a big yawn and told them I was tired. Mom hugged me extra tight and then joined dad in the twins room where they were staying for the night. The girls were already sleeping on the floor in my room so I was quiet when I went up to bed.

. . .

Quil POV

I feel like I am my physical age for the first time in years. I can't remember the last time I was this completely happy. Claire and I have been dating for three months now and I've been able to take her out every single weekend. No one lectures me or makes comments about our ages or anything. I have a girlfriend! Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm totally whipped and all that. The guys still tease me, but at least now I can ignore it easily. And I can think about kissing Claire. Yeah, that shuts them up pretty quick. Ha.

Dating her is easier than I ever imagined. It's because being with her is where I'm meant to be. It's just right. So whether we do something fancy like we did for Valentine's day, or something simple like the rest of the time, we have a great time. We talk about anything and everything and generally hang out and somehow I'm falling even more in love with her.

That's why I'm keeping one secret from her. Only the active pack knows about it too simply because it's hard not to think about it and they are even helping me out. I am fixing up my house to make it more presentable and comfortable for Claire. I haven't had her over in three weeks so it will be a surprise. It's not that weird really, since she never spent much time alone with me there before and now Sam gets nervous if we mention going there alone. He should calm down. I'm not going to push Claire for a physical relationship. When she's ready for something more than kissing, she will let me know. Not that I'm complaining, because frankly, I love kissing her.

So I've been cleaning my house like crazy when I'm not at work, with Claire or on patrol. And I have to say, it's coming along nicely. I got my mom's advice on decorating a little nicer so it's not just a blank bachelor pad anymore. The front room is all done and I am working on the kitchen now. I've had a lot of cleaning to do in there, but it will be worth it. Next is my room. That's going to be the biggest project, but I want it nice when Claire finally sees it. Plus, when things get serious between the two of us, I don't want her to have to clean my place up so it's good enough for her to live in.

Yes, I'm thinking about marriage but I can't help it. I know I need to wait a little while. I mean, we've only been dating a few months and she is still very young. She still has to graduate from high school! But after that, who knows? I don't have a timeline in mind, I'm just going to go with it and see how things progress. But I sure am enjoying dating her in the mean time.

. . .

About a month before graduation Claire and Emily told us that they decided to run a daycare out of the Uley house starting after graduation. They both love kids and most of the pack children spend a considerable time at their house anyway, so they are turning it into a business. They admitted that they've been researching it for a few months and have everything in line to get the business going including the approval of the tribal council.

It seems that I am not the only one keeping secrets.

I can't really be mad though. Especially when I saw how excited Claire was about this surprise. They made their announcement during dinner that night and I waited until we were finished to do anything. I exchanged a curious look with Sam and pulled Claire out onto the porch to talk privately.

"So, a daycare, huh?" I asked.

"I know you are surprised, but is it a good surprise or a bad one?" she asked, biting her lip.

"It's good, as long as you are happy. We haven't talked about it much, but what about college? I don't want you to feel like you are stuck here because of me." I told her.

"Oh Quil," she squeezed the hand she was holding, "I don't really care about college. I mean, I've never really been able to picture myself going away and doing that like my sister Alyssa." She shrugged. "Besides, I don't like being away from you for obvious reasons. You don't want me to go, do you?"

"Of course not. Well, I don't want you going away from me, that is. But if you wanted to keep going to school you know that I would support you."

She smiled. "Thank you. But the only support I want from you right now is for this daycare. I think it will be great. Everyone in the community loves Emily and we can help out some working parents this way. The only drawback will be that for the first time ever we'll have to be careful when it comes to talking about the pack in the Uley house."

We both laughed about that for a minute. I took my hand out of Claire's and slipped my arm around her shoulder as we watched a spring storm from the protection of the porch.

"I'm proud of you, you know. Graduation is next month and you already know what you are going to do this summer." I said.

"Thanks. I want to make you proud. I want to be someone you are proud to be with." She said, a little quieter now.

"I'll be proud to be with you no matter what you do. You have nothing to worry about." I assured her. She settled more deeply into my side and leaned her head against my shoulder. "I love you, Claire. Nothing is going to change that."

"I love you too." She answered, turning her face up toward mine. I took advantage of her position and stole a kiss. She smiled and kissed me again.

. . .

Claire graduated from high school and we threw her a party. She was happy and had a good time. The following Monday the daycare opened. Word spread quickly around the Res and they already had people calling them and bringing their kids over. Claire was thrilled and so was I.

A few weeks later it was my birthday. Emily insisted on making my favorite dinner and having the pack over for cake, but all I really wanted was time with Claire. And once more, my imprint completely surprised me. That woman is amazing.

After the cake and jokes about my age, Claire and I were finally able to get away. I drove us across the Res and down an old dirt road. We hiked the last little way to some cliffs and stood together on the rocks, watching the sun set over the ocean. This was what I wanted for my birthday: me and Claire, just spending time together.

Then she did me one better.

Claire gave me a gift back at the house with everyone else. She got me a new stereo for my car which was exactly what I wanted. So I wasn't expecting anything while we stood holding each other on top of the cliffs.

"Tell me something, Quil." She said out of the blue.

"Hmm?"

"How long do you want to date me?"

"What?" that threw me for a loop. "I don't know, I mean, I'm not going to break up with you or anything." I said.

"I know that. But we've been dating for six months, and I've loved every moment of it. I guess what I want to know is how long you plan on keeping things like this? Another six months? A year?" she asked.

Where was this coming from? Was she insecure about us? How did that happen? I started to panic a little.

"Claire, I love you. I'm not going anywhere. You know I will spend all the time I possibly can with you. As long as you don't get sick of me." I said in an effort to make things right again.

"I love you, too. But I want more than this." She said.

A lead weight sunk in my chest. "Is it college? Or do I need to do something, like, I don't know, buy you flowers or gifts? I don't understand."

"No, Quil. I just want you. More you." she said, turning to face me.

I swallowed hard. Wow. She sure was blunt. I just had to make sure she meant what I thought she was saying.

"Okay." I said, praying my brain would come up with the right words, the correct thing to say right now. Claire saved me by continuing her train of thought.

"You have spent my entire lifetime patiently waiting. You've been supportive and given me everything I asked for, even when it hurt us both. I never could have found a best friend or a boyfriend as good as you on my own. But we can have more than this, if you want. It's time for you to be selfish, Quil. Tell me what you want for us, for our future. I need to hear it from you."

I shook my head, trying to catch up to this very serious conversation. "Claire, I. . . I just want you to be happy. Whatever you want I will do my best to give you."

"Stop it. I know that already." Claire huffed. "Now I want to know what _you_ want, what you really want more than anything else in this world. Just tell me." She urged.

She needed something now and I wanted more than anything to say what she wanted. But that was the point wasn't it? She didn't want me to say what she wanted; she wanted me to say what I wanted. So I did.

"You. I just want you."

Claire looked pleased. "Tell me more."

"I don't know where to start." I said.

"Anywhere. Tell me what you dream of. Tell me the thoughts you've never shared with anyone else."

"I want you: all of you, every day, beside me." I said in a rush. "I want you to be my wife, I want to go to sleep and wake up to you. I want to be the father of your children, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy in every way."

I finally allowed myself a deep breath, exhilarated and completely freaked out by everything I had just admitted out loud for the first time. Claire and I just stared at each other and she nodded as the most radiant smile broke across her face.

"Yes." she said.

What? I looked at her in confusion and she elaborated.

"Yes, I will marry you."

"You will? But I didn't even ask properly. I don't have the ring with me."

"With you?" she asked.

I shrugged. "It's my grandmothers. I've been saving it for you."

"So you do want to marry me." She asserted.

"Of course I do."

"Alright then. That's all I need to know." She said.

"Wow. So, what does this mean?" I asked, just to make sure. I had to be imagining this. I was going to wake up in my bed any moment, completely disappointed.

"It means we need to pick a date. And the sooner the better, as far as I'm concerned." Claire said with certainty.

I love this girl.

"Who just proposed to who?" I asked. "Isn't that my job?"

"Let's just call it a mutual agreement." Claire got a mischievous glint in her eye. "Unless you want to back out?" she challenged.

"No. Hell, no." I said and pulled her into my arms. "You can't get rid of me now."

"That better be a promise." Claire said, rising up on her toes to get closer to me.

"Promise." I repeated and leaned down the last inch to kiss her.

Amazing.

THE END

* * *

A/N: Dear friends, as you know by now I am not big on writing these notes and I've never asked you for anything. But since this is the end of the story I would really love to hear from all of you – especially those who have remained silent up to this point. You may not think you have much to say, but I promise, I really do want to hear from you, so Please Review. Even if you just say that you liked it, I would like to know what your thoughts are. I have more stories running around in my head and you may determine whether or not I post them. If I know people out there like my writing, I will post, because that's the point of all this – so others can enjoy the stories in my head. So now it's up to you. Please let me know what you thought of the story, even if its to tell me something I messed up. I'd rather know so I can do better in the future. Thanks!

P.S. I know that in two stories now I have left Embry alone and hanging. I really like Embry, so if I get a good response here, I will write his story, continuing from this one though, and not Lonely Hearts as was once requested. I have a few characters here that I want to tell a little more about in it as well. Much love.

P.P.S. The ice castles are a real thing I've seen the last two winters in a community near where I live. If you'd like to see what I tried to describe, google "midway ice castles" and check out the photos on Brent's blogspot (he built them). They were so beautiful!


End file.
